Judge — November 27, 1886 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SMOKER’S QUESTION ILLUSTRATED. “Can I trouble you for a light?” A WESTERN PAPER calls for nine glad to assist in the demon: cessfully passed the examina tion required by the ser and then she must ex! the regulation sheepskin. cheers for Mrs. Dr. Cleveland. We shall be very stration; but really she must. first show that she has suc-| 3 | ye, John Griffin, dat you's forgot how to mea- suah you’ game foh de T’anksgivin’ mouf.” “Go ‘long wid ye!” remarked Uncle John -|Griffin with some vexation. “Dis ain't no time for jokin’. Dis am a tuhkey.” “A tuhkey !” screamed Mammy Morrison, elevating both hands, while a look of profound astonishment spread rapidly over her counte- nance, and half the kinks in her hair straight- ened themselves out with mutesurprise. Then, thanks for something. Let Uncle Sam present is acknowledgements because that bird is dead. THANKS OF THE CABINET. | Mr. Bayard es thanks because we haven't | been eaten up by Canada and Mexico. Mr. Garland feels grateful because in his opinion it has blown over. Mr. Lamar rejoices because the public looks upon him as eligible for matrimony, no matter what the lady has to say about it. Mr. Endicott is pleased because he hasn't had to soil his hands with gunpowder, or even ‘to find out what gunpowder is. Mr. Manning congratulates the treasury on its great and rapidly increasing rotundity, and hopes some statesman will arise presently and tell him what to do with it. Mr. Whitney feels good and expectant over the several cruisers that are going to come | home from sea some day after they have got | there, ee eet | Mr. Vilas is happy because, unlike smaller officials, he can make all the political speeches he wants to and no danger of removal or rebuke. EVERY MEMBER OF CONGRESS, says the Chi- cago Journal, will go to Washington with his grip full of labor bills. This will produce con- ‘em set for lahks. hopperer-glass.” looking with much pity at the remains, she remarked sympathetically, * Wuz it sick long? Pooah thing, how it must have suffahed !” “You don’ undahstand!” exclaimed Uncle Griffin with great severity. “I won't say nothin’ ’bout dat tuhkey wot you didn't git”— here Mammy Morrison winced—‘'’cause I ain't throwin’ yp nothin’ agin ye; but you c ka mus’ considah! Dis am a free-trade tuhkey, lady isn’t receiving now. —_| an’ we's got to give thanks fur ’im.” DR PRERY. “Oh!” exclaimed Mammy Morrison. A PREE-TRADE TURKEY. | «Besa free-trade tuhkey, an’ dey’s growin’ Uncle John Griffin Carlisle) mighty small dis y'ar.” chased a flock of turkeys all) *‘Oh!” repeated Mammy Morrison, wiping around his Kentucky her.eyes vigorously.‘ Well. dey's one com- trict. There were large as|fo't—et’s a mighty small tuhkey an’ it calls fur well as small birds in the a mighty small pra’r.” flock; but the large ones were unusually ‘cute, having ac- curate knowledge of the season and its dangers. They A GEORGIA PAPER com- plains that the northerners who visit the grave of a noted southern writer leave their cards on the same. It is certainly either an excess! or a breach of etiquette. They ought to know that the Hexry WATERSoN studied the various kinds of gambling popular in Europe with great assiduity, and as he talks of lecturing about it all got away but one, and jt may be supposed that the cost of his inves- that one wasa little free-trade |tigating was considerable. The lecture will be turkey, so little that he was! moral one, and will probably suggest that hardly worth taking home. poker is good enough for a plain, democratic “Foh de Lor’ sake, John | yeople such as exist here. Griffin!” exclaimed Mammy Morrison when her old eyes got sight of the free-trade News-dealers and lovers of good art and it of t trade] good literature will bear in mind the Christ- turkey, * whar'd you git dat’ mas Judge. It will be one of the most elegant robin?” ‘ .,|Christmas publications ever issued in this Dis ain't no robin!” said | country, Uncle John Griflin indig- nantly. ‘* Wha's de mattah wid yer eyes? Mus’ a got] Specs I has ter buy yer a} THE LOCAL COMPLACENCY. Our little governor doesn’t feel much like giving thanks, you know: but he can squeeze “Am it a chickadee, den?” asked Mammy |out a few so as to keep up appearances. While Morrison, wiping her eyes with the corner of|Grover is grateful because he has a wife, her apron. fusion, and the result will be not so much as a | mouse. Let us hope, accordingly,.that every | member will lose his grip. 5 * An’ ef its achickadee lemme tell| David will assume to be joyful because he A CELTIC COMBINATION. Mrs. O'SHEA—“ Phat in hiv’ns nem are yez doin’ wid th’ pig, Tim?” Mr. O'SHEA—*: Phwist, darlint! T'anksgivin’s comin’ an’ av yez'll lave me pit this bit o° fither an’ his head, sorra th’ differench they'll be bechune him an’ a tur-r-key !”