Judge — November 6, 1886 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘ he tries; but when he tries he is gener-|bring you to—it's awful. Let's go away.” THE ACTOR'S PRIMER. ally disappointed. | New Yorker (who lives across from Hunters | Point)—"* Awful! why, man alive, it's glorious; it's the first thing I've seen, heard or smelled that reminds me of home ; it is positively re- Some people never get too old to | dance attendance. | Some ministers never know when freshing.” | it is time to say amen. | WHY SHE DIOWT DO IT. Some cats would sooner catch the) Boston girl—* And so you threw Harry canary bird than a rat. over, eh?” Philadelphia girl—** Yes, dear old fellow.” Boston girl—" Ah! Jeannette, you should have married him.” Philadelphia girl—* Yes ; but I knew him so well, don't you know ? The Hebrew language looks as if it (—- was written with a stub pen. | Miss Cleveland has already come to | the conclusion that notoriety is easier acquired than fame. me | ‘THE DIFFERENCE, Acontemporary says Ben Butler is} First passenger— The conductor and train always wound up. This is strange, |men on this train are simply outrageous in because he runs only once every four |their treatment of the patrons of the road. years. Why, sir, they won't accommodate you if they |have to go out of their way to be impertinent.” Second passenger—“ This is an express ; “Isthe moon made of green cheese?” | this isn’t an accommodation train.” asked a small boy of his little sister. —— “Of course not,” was the patronize MOTO: FULL: DRESS: ing reply. ‘How silly you are!) Little Miss Li been allowed to come | Don't you see its made of yellow |to the table on the occasion of her mamma's cheese 7” _ birthday, after promising that she would be 5 YOUNG A very, very good. WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND CHARMING. "Unfortunately she was seated opposite a “Was Methuselah a college chum gentleman who was entirely bald. After of yours ?” asked a spiteful old maid |some time spent in awe-stricken contemplation of a crusty old bachelor who was very /of the phenomenon, she could not help re- tender on the subject of age. marking to her mother in a quite audible stage was the calm re-| whisper: e told me you were} “Oh, mamm: ¢ that gentleman. His (head is all naked. SETTLED THE MATTER. | cause or THE TROUBLE. OUT OF HER REACH. Is this man go-ing to ca it sui-c “T see by the Oh, no; it is only John P. Ham-let, the barn-storm-er, Popular Science trying to skip a ho-te Monthly,” said a Why does he drop his va-lise ? broker, “that He can’t drop it, my son. It is too light to drop, and broker, “tha he is burst-ing his sus-penders in an endeavor to pull | bald-headed men it down, are increasing in 7 _ — number every | year, That seems A PicTURE. very strange.” Youthful and hasty and foc | “Not at all,” returned She was alone and so witchingly pretty; his friend, “when you Crest basal ses and a retroues hace consider that nearly every peeks like the leaves of a deep-blushing rose, sates i at Berd Lips that I thought might be charmingly witty, theatre in the city is run |ning a leg show.” THE RISING GENERATION, “My dear, you must give half your cake to disciples see \that poor little beggar) ‘we two meet in the xame way ag \boy.” ‘ thful and hasty and foolish, but then Jw se ds ‘She was a queen in a quartet of aces. Oh, no, I musn’t, dear pewirt every, |Mamma; it would only : make him a glutton.” SAYINGS OF MRS. PUGWASH. | = A LITTLE LEARNING. Consistency is a paste diamond. —... : = “What size is this?” A kitten soon forgets its mother. asked Mrs. Malaprop, Hope often enc: es us in our folly. picking up a music book. “That's an octavo, Hope is a poor support when fear leans onit. ma'am,” said the dealer, “Well, then,” she re- turned, ‘let me have a Hope is the sun that shines on a cloudy day. seven octavo. I want it to match the piano.” Fashion is nothing to us when we are young. Aspiritualist never wants to give up the = ghost. NOT A PLEASANT PLACE. The biggest man hasn't always the most’ Native Philadelphian pluck, _ | (holding his nose)—“ This A man doesn’t know what he can do untillis a terrible locality to|