Judge — November 6, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DILLY-DALLYING. he dalled with amoid, And she dliy Acicd ba again Tmvay much apaid. She wos hguleesly axsthitic. Alagachion of the day , GY Buy leatt Be BRUTE Ty was net doomed te soy 4 H Yor a parent with a sho gun ade it end The other way - CF AL .Dorst ANy dey wih arviheric chilly, shallly,, EE Thovgh you may WE get in Tere ill youre] but aftera great deal of hard work she revived. A young lady in Peru, Il., dislocated her jaw while yawning, and this is said to be the third case of the kind in the same place. Evidently there is a belief that town that a thing of beauty must be ajaw for- ever. New York girls are said to be fonder of the parallel bars than of the divan and the novel. Too much ex- ercise is not wise, however, ‘and it is even understood that the Evening Post thinks the bars are the deadly parallel. The Brooklyn priest who married a young girl is in ja monastery, doing pen-} ance and humbling himself to the dust. The young girl has returned to her pa- rents, and just exactly how she is to redeem herself nobody seems to know. Mrs. Wilmot Lewis of Halifax, N. S., gave birth Mum of the Court. The sultan of Morocco has 6,000 wives, and has accordingly, the miserable sinner ! robbed 5,999 men of their best inheritance. The governor of Maryland has married a pretty | girl. Hurrah for the governor of Maryland.— Philadelphia News. Stupid! Hurrah for the pretty girl ! A convivial person pathetically remarks of asailor recently drowned at sea, ‘Poor fel- low ! he has taken his last schooner over the bar.” California has a boy who sets fire to objects | by simply looking at them. Keep that youth away from the Atlantic ocean. We prefer to 40 to Europe by sea. A suspended priest in Boston stole a second- | hand garment while on an extended spree. It was a most unfortunate case. If he had been sober he would, of course, have captured a garment worth having. Lady Lonsdale is said to be one of the most | charitable and charming of women. She must he charitable indeed ; otherwise his lordship would have been shipped long before he started | on his voyage to this country. If any man hauls down the American flag shoot him on the spot.—John A. Dix. If any man hauls down the American flag roll it up | wrefully and remove it from his sightas speed- | possible—T. F. Bayard. An old Reading (Pa.) man named Amandus Stephen killed himself because he was troubled with spirits that kept whispering in his ear. The remedy somehow reminds one of the fool- | ishness of carrying coals to Newcastle. A Davenport lady was offered a new silk dress to walk through a graveyard at midnight alone. They thought, when they found her in the middle of the graveyard, that she was in a | proper condition to go into her own receptacle, | to a fine boy five months and three days after a precisely si ence. There are persons who look upon this asa miracle, but Mr. Lewis says for his part he regands it as an outrage. A poet who contributes his genius to the Utica Observer casually remarks : As the circling years move round, In their Jeweled orbit grand, Think you he will stand uncrowne, ‘Our Tilden, ‘mong that august band How often we have thoughtof this! Buthe won't. There shall be no counting out over there, you bet. : The Rochester Democrat says it is glad that Tra Davenport can read his title clear to a seat FROM SHANTYTOWN. “Crape on the door at Hoolihan's agin Ah,yes. Iremimber, they had a sociable last night. A NATURAL MISTAKE. Boy (to countryman)—* Shine that other bag of yours for five cents, sir.” in the fiftieth congress. We are glad too; and all the more glad because this indicates that his health is good and the celestial mansions are still mevely in his e: The town of Punxatawny, in Massachusetts, “| was recently half destroyed by fire. ‘The dis- aster is not altogether bad, because we know now that there is a town of Punxatawny, and but for the fire some of us might have died be- fore they got the information. Sam Jones says that if anybody calls to see his daughters he'll send the young ladies to bed and let his boy do the conversing with the vis- itor. If Mr. Jones hasn’t uny better idea of courting than that comes to he'd better go to work and try and earn something. There is a dreadful story to the effect that Lonsdale will stay in this country. We trust his theatrical venture will not turn out so poorly, but if he lacks the money to pay his passage home most certainly it will be raised for him without any unnecessary delay. The Buffalo Express speaks of Charles Dan- iels as “the judge who never wore an over- coat.” This kind of argument was so good that we expected to see the Peckham press declare that their judge went around in hisshirt-sleeves, that, of course, being Democratic simplicity. The women’s temperance union of Burling: J., offer a prize of $50 for the best ofaconfirmed drunkard. The trouble with the confirmed drunkard is that he is too modest to go on exhibition, and besides he al- ways thinks the confirmed drunkard is some- body else. ee There ure four places within a two hours’ ride of Atlanta, which is a prohibition town, and already measures have been taken to build eight railroads running to them, the trains to go every five minutes. This is enterprise, but it is a prevalent impression in Atlanta that the trains ought to run oftener. Phil Armour, who is said to be worth $400,- 000 for every year of his life, gets up at 5 o'clock every morning. If that sacrifice of the | best of all sleep is necessary to a proper dispo- sition of his wealth and business, how rich is the man who is so poor that he needn't get up till he gets ready. comicbooks.com