Judge — October 9, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: A CAUTIOUS CUR. for a woman to get off a pun without ital ing it. We don't know about the italies, but |show us the pun, A banker’ her pet dog in Me ndles. The luxury of grief is sometimes a igh-priced arti The fat men’s latest clam-bake was alament- able failure. There is of late a habit of pro- dueing skeletot these feasts which is ex- tremely discouraging. | Itseems that the second wife of Anarchist Parsons is white—the first one was black. — If} the first one is still living we beg to offer her ‘sincere congratulation. The Rochester Herald says Franklin B. Gowen can talk the hair off of almost any man’s head. We should like to see Frank! |try it on Robert Ingersoll | It is not for G. Cleveland to say whether he} ought to run again, That is Mrs. Cleveland's business. The matter has passed out of his hands. Bear that in mind , Don't drop on me.” | Secretary Lamar says the reports of his con- Benatar" Thanks; Tdidn't know that you], 5° the reports of his con: templated marriage are *‘ very much exagger- Vil go around.” lated.” That is to say, we suppose, he will | marry but one lady qt a time. Mui of the Court. The World spells the Star ——, with an in- visible d on either side of the same. | A heading in the World reads, | Florida Man is M: “) read the article t man is mad becaus “Why a It is unnecessary to follows it. Of course, the h he isn’t somewhere else. The Philadelphia News says the Dakota In- dians are improving. — Good gracious! they’! o¢ the water after the tlood ?” and it is under- must be dead. stood that St. and Neal Dow have finally We miss something in modern fiction,” | reached the conclusion that they got the most says acritic. Perhaps it is the money neces- of it. sary to purchase it. There was once the question ** What became A Philadelphia clergyman recently told in a Jeff Davis being about to write another se “how young woman danced a book, the Democratic party will again struggle | preacher to death.” It has long seemed to us to flee from the wrath to come. that the cloth was not adapted to these exer- cises. Boston will try to stop the custom of tippi waiters, It is nota reform. It is a diabolical Nilsson says she will not return to America scheme to starve us all to death, until she is married. There are said to bea The World says that what is wanted is char. "Umber of gentlemen here who would much acter, not pol But there is so little of the | Prefer to have her come first and marry after- former lying around, you know. | ward. Generals H es are going for each other with more than the violence and rapidity that they went for Geronimo, and the trouble n this case there is danger that they will catch up. An article in an exchange speaks of Brig ham Young's grandson. There 1s some news- paper matter that outrazes haman credulity. The Norristown Herald says it is impossible | “ Begorra, I must be gettin’ amongst frinds. Oi've been walkin’ the intoire mornin’ an’ that’s the first sign of civilyzaytion Oi've met wid.” “ Hi, Jimmy ! give us a boost.” Senator Morrill has an essay on the self-con- sciousness of noted persons. What these per- sons need is to go off and leave themselves at home, and perhaps Senator Morrill thinks he can tell them how to do it. There is nothing strange in the fact that E. Solomon and his last wife have separated or the fact that first wife has sued him for bigamy. The main question is, what has be- come of the rest of the concubines ? Neal Dow's son Frederick having been elected to the Maine legislature, perhaps now he can redeem himself ; but he ought to apply for the privilege of spelling the last half of it with several additional and totally different syllables. A Michigan Democrat says, ‘We want a man in congress who dares to say to Sam Ran- dall, ‘You're no Democrat and we don't want you.’ “What we wantin ” excited- ly exclaimed an agriculturist, “ that will dismiss the wheat and save us the chaff.” Philadelphia has eight woman physicians who make $20,000 a year apiece. We have ob- served that the mortality in Philadelphia has been startlingly large forsome years back; but it must be said out of deference to justice that the departed died comparatively happy and were duly eulogized in the Philadelphia Ledger. The Detroit News tells of a pretty girl who experimented with a pair of hand-cuffs belong- ing to her lover, who was a deputy sheriff, un- til she got them on. Then she couldn't get them off, because the deputy hadn't the key with him, and she had to ride a great many miles, im a bad state of cuffs and tears, before she could find relief. But she wasn’t so badly ff. There are pretty girls who lock them- selves up pretty much in that way for all their pretty lives. The privilege of curiosity belongs solely to the other sex. A woman never fully values her husband until he has been killed in an accident and she sees a chance to recover damages. comicbooks.com