Judge, 1886-09-11 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 11, 1886 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from Judge magazine (likely 1880s-90s based on style) contains several satirical pieces: **"Strange"** depicts a common garden scene where a wife operates a lawnmower while her husband rests—inverting typical gender labor roles for humorous effect. **"One's Barber and One's Life"** satirizes the vulnerability of being shaved, using an anecdote about a black barber. The Judge reflects on trusting one's barber with a razor near one's throat—a darkly comic meditation on helplessness and faith. **"A Democratic Crisis"** discusses New York Governor Hill's administration, criticizing his reliance on political operatives like Flynn and Squire as weak leadership. It advocates for stronger Democratic party direction from outside New York. **"Labor and Prohibition"** begins discussing tariff and labor issues facing political parties, though the text is partially obscured. **"Two of a Kind"** shows an illustration of a woman encountering a cow, with dialogue about avoiding the animal's path. The content reflects turn-of-century American political concerns and social commentary typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MowsRTH. You will a common bre ic mower around the n there i ays does tl always ver, ptice that wh sickle the wife of the house is “Tdo not know. Bone is an osseus formation reganting which we have too little knowled; It is true that Ecan walk and converse and get around with my old-time alucrity ; but how do I know there isn’t a substritum of the osse- us construction that may not have received injury that will result in compound fracture | at some future day ¢ | Ido not wish to spe subject ” “But your g ~ Young min, T must study upon | idly on this important T health is good ¢* sid Mr. Evarts with some mething that wth. Now, to begin $s the head and the hair thereupon, | But the you He was sorry | he had mentioned the painful subject. A DEMOCRATIC CRISIS. Mr, Squire went out on the jump, utilizing! all his legs to get there with the greatest possible rapidi Whether this shows that our little governor has the coura; iction or merely that of uni cessity cannot be told at this. v former wi phment; in due give bim congratul nid if the latter we shall ason, for Squire has the combative- roars when it is hurt as well as the song that sings when it has reason to be placid and gratified. The JUbGe has been pleased 1 Governor Hill because with which he has avowed himself a Demo- It takes a great deal of courage occasion- ally todo that. But he is at the crisis of his administration. and if he has placed contid : in small men tike Flynn and Squire and the dead Thompsoi hof whom was treacher- ous to the other two and not f whom had the honor which must prevail among thieves to make thi y successful, he builded upon yoleano and the Democratic leader must come from elsewhere rather than from New York. ONE'S BIRBER AND ONE'S LIFE. A number of years ago the JUDGE had his face lathered and plastered and razored by a harber of ferocious and feverish countenance whose eyes stood out like rich jewels on an Ethiop’s cheeks, as indeed they were. Does the razor hurt 2° of the courage a new nothing about the garden work : but when there is a new ¥ willing to accept the responsibility barber with some curiosity: 1 The razor danced over the J it had in view the most ran down to his throat in me all suffering and doubt “Oh, no,” said the JupGE, ~* It is the most It is gentleness itself. T at was more kind or more wn of razors. Are you ping: more than t n with a gleain of battled n nid put itaway, pasted the JebGe's hair to his classic forehead, dis- missed lim: with a bow, and immed went off, throat. The Jupae sometimes thinks of this. a triumph of forb Ethiop who had munde since ber with tainly hur Ttwas ice and courtesy: ove too excellent sand in pes 20 we the one 3 occurred to the JUDG barbers was a lon E that insurance aguinst elt want. One is so help- less when one is being shaved. One is so like achild when, ig submitted himself to the long and the short towel and thrown his head the rest provided therefor, he looks up into his barber's eyes and silently prays for pects little from his physician, is his if his barber is not LABOR AND PROHIBITION. is a pretty serious question, the leading parties e devolving upon them with respect: to liv sues, and still make their calling and election reasonably sure ¢” The tariff issue is always alive and alw new, like the dead man who lives in his ghost and always presents himself. at the improper period; but there are a dozen vital issues, each with points that stand out like the quillsof the fretful poreupme, th: out for attention and revenge. The Republican party is thre hibition. It is the ma of leading prohi Litionists that in ord nce the cause of e temperance swiry to kill off parties, that has es- penance all its life. excessi poused and practised te: This is the preaching of Neal Dow and a great many small prohibitionists. Tt is petuli ness like unto that of the prevailing spinster, who knows nothing but her own sel- fishness and thinks nothing but her corkscrew curls. “The Democratic party has been sup- posed to be the party of labor, but it hasw't the rage to tlk f ~ thas the courage of nothing. But there is no kind of fact or argument whieh can t old of the souls or the minds of the individ: who just one idea and think it involves the destinies of the universe. Whi all the two great parties do in this ey The radicals of temperance and jo blow us all up. It is the radi Youno Lapy—*" Oh. attack m Cow—"G: finally inquired this quick as I can. a great big. ious! there's one of thore horrid city people. id cow. —T know by its looks it will T guess I'll get out of her way as