Judge — September 4, 1886 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SSS SSS SSS SS —— a = rape: Lover like, they had a quarrel O'er some trifing thing, And the maiden with Gave him baci He in x Anil he left that heartless maklen Swinging in the lane. He then went to fertile Texas, ¢ the cowboys bows: A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY. (Patent applied for.) ETON THE PROGRESS of this period. An interesting story has been going the rounds of the press recently about the making of what is called a ‘‘ composite photograph "—a picture in which the combined beauties ot ‘ge number of pictures are seen, to make an ideal fi shorn of individual imperfections. I was tearing my hair the other night in sheer despair at my endeavors to invent a new joke, when the idea struck me that some such “composite” process might applied toa bundle of stale jokes I had in a drawer, to bring about an ideal bit of humor, leaving out-what was bad in each and ending in an unparalleled piece of wit, that would put) such writers as Dean Swift and William M. Evarts in the shade. Joke number one, labeled July Ist, year 75, B. C. (new style) told of the bootjack that the third-floor lodger threw at the romantic feline on the back fence to stop his midnight serenading. Joke number two, marked year 100 before Adam (old style) told of the little fellow that sat on a bent pin and made Rome howl when the connection took place. (There’s an anach ism here somewhere, but I cannot exactly explain it. If the affair did not hap- pen in Rome, then pl: it in Jerusalem.) Joke number three, set aside as belonging to the time of Noah—the ct date is of Noah-count—tells of the introspective poet who slipped ‘ully earthward on a banana-peel, and saw an unwonted glory in the stars, Then there were the “ billy-goat ” “brass band” joke, the joke of the “kicking mule,” the ‘ * joke, and divers other' puns, squ reeds, equivokes, double entendres, and paro- of the pre-Adamite, pre-Raphaelite, eocene, miocene, pliocene, urus and plesiosaurus periods. So with one grand wind-up of my mental apparatus I proceeded to apply the “composite” process. The result came out clearand strong, and I leave it to my readers as to how beautiful and ideala result I here attained. Here is the ‘‘ composite” in all its glory—* Chestnut.” One can readily see to what manifold uses my invention may be ap- plied. To the editors of newspapers it should be an especial boon, and I hope some day to be regarded by them as a benefactor to the human race. NATHAN M. LEVY. If you have flirted with your wife before you married her she wil] RIGHT FROM THE SHOULDER. | necessity THE MOTHER OF INVENTION, “T suppose you had plen- ty of bathing while you were at Long Branch, my dear,” said Bagley. ‘* You| must be quite an expert by this time, I should say.” “I'm afraid not,” re- turned Clara, careless!, “Tecould never float because my head always kept going under water. guess it was because my air is so long and heavy.” 's_ strange,” con- tinued Bagley, boastfully ; “Teould always float like \a feather.” | “But you must take in- | to consideration, my dear,”~ said Clara, arching her brows, “that your head never interfered with you.” A baby sa nic thing to Uniqu have, but is very trouble-| clothes v some to raise. ing. Snook stolen while he was im hath- UTTLE JOHNNY HEARD FROM, | Mr. Eprtor—I want to ask the Jupe few questions, as I guess — he ‘s more than any one else. But these are posers, these as I have already asked a number of people who wouldn't, or couldn't give me an answer. (1). The other evening Sister Cora and Mr. Merritt (that’s her beau) were sitting on the front stoop, when there came a sudden gust of wind which played the deuce with Cora’s dress. The consequence was that Mr. Merritt saw a little bit of sister's new tan-colored stocking. Cora came running down stairs with tears in her eyes, and told ma how she would never dare to face Mr. Merritt again. — Within a week they were as thick a% ever, and yesterday they went down to Coney Island I went too, Of course, Cora wanted to go into the water, and I tell you her bathing suit was a stun omething like those the Sun pub- lishes. Now, Mr. Editor, this is what I want toknow. Of course girls are queer things, but why was Cora so shocked at Mr. Merritt seeing a couple of inches of her stocking when together on the stoop, whilea few fterward she showed her whole leg to any one who wanted to see This is the best conundrum you ever published. (2). There is a sheen r block who keeps a second-hand THE PROGRESS OF ART AND PRINTING IN AMERICA. _| - Portrait of Mrs. President Cleveland as it appeared in a prominent New probably flirt with some one else afterwards. York daily newspaper. comicbooks.com