Judge — September 4, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

5 vert ; but if the convert were!stage of the honeymoon to take care of the one of the thirty what a great regular kind. saving of soul there would be. THE INSTANTANEOUS PHOTOGRAPHER. It is stated that stage singers spend money right and left, and a newspaper says it doesn't know whether the money goes for clothes or to cultivate the voice. Some of it is used for the voice, doubtless ; but more of it goes to culti- | vate the exposure. Whena Philadelphia woman isin a state of confusion they In a great state of conception over a sup- posed discovery a man wrote to a lady friend, “Thave found you out.” * Permit meto hope,” she replied in the haste inseparable from press- ing business, “that you will be equally fortu- nate whenever you call.” No party in London, according to Truth of |that city, is considered complete without the presence of American ladies. We give the |statement because of the prominence of its su- perfluity. Of course, it is wholly unneces sary to say that of any party in the world. perhaps, to announce that she has ceased to control her lips. There was doubt as to what to do with an utterly fleshless| skeleton that was turned up | during some recent excava- | tions, when up spoke the man for th ergency—‘‘ Capital ! Send it to Harper's ‘ Drawer. Henry Watterson acknowl- edges that he once wrote a! The case of an old man of Newark who led novel. The confession i: - a dual existence teaches two things. When mentable because he fails to|an old man finds that a young woman greatly tell whether he destroyed the! resembles his lost daughter it is time to look manuscript. Why, good gra-jout for him; and when the young woman cious! the thing might be pub-| coaxes his attentions it is time to look out for lished yet. Hum of the Court. | ee: Your suspicious pe until the man is dead. When “ Clara Belle” died her last words were these—' Deck me in the gown with the most. embroidery and the least ampli- tude of linen ; and put no post- on has no proof of life) If Chauncey Forward Black were a Black Republican his chances for progress wouldn't be half as backward. It is understood that Ignatius Donnelly has ciphered the gospel of Jeremiah into the hands of the multiplication table. * Why shouldn't there be a sea-serpent ?” in- quires the Brooklyn Eagle. We look upon a sea-serpent as a long-felt want. The head of the Democratic party is located at the tail, and that has been going around looking for itself for the last twenty years. A man named Snook has reversed things and | now spells himself Koons. There is a kind of | incorrect spelling that is a positive advantage. Rose Coghlan’s onions are not of the ballet y ; but there is this drawback—they can't whether they have their clothes on or This government is not absolutely going to! the dogs—-they don’t want it; but it seems to inquire, ‘Is General Slocum present ¢” A man in Boston became notorious for] whistling ‘* Yankee Doodle” whenever he walked, and now he is dead. We knew some- thing was going to happen. A Philadelphia newspaper man was arrested for being out after 12 o'clock at night. Won-| derfully virtuous city that. They'll begin to haul in the policemen next. It took fifty days to send the case of the Chi- cago anarchists to the jury. The deluge con- suined only forty, and the evidence in that| case was not half as convincing. —. | Tom Ochiltree is said to be bursting with i dignation over the Mexican question. Let him| burst. ‘That is the only satisfaction we are likely to get out of the unpleasantness. Ata camp-meeting up north it is calculated that there are thirty ministers and one con-' The exposure. | It isa part of the business of the Philadel- phia News to tell “w pened a year ago to-day.” Wouldn't it be better to indulge in prophecy than reminiscence—to tell, for in- stance, what will happen a year ago to-mor- row? “Em'ly” is the nom de plume of Mrs. Annie Wolf of Philadelphia, and Literary Life says she is the most beautiful literary woman in America. We believe in prudence, but there shall be no effort to keep the Wolf from our door. Miss Kingdon is getting so much advertising out of her relations with a millionaire that she is likely to get richer than he is, And then there can be no reciprocal exchange of favors, because he has not beauty or wit or the power to act. The Albany Argus says the papers are try: ing to pick personal quarrels with the presi- dent. That is infernally mean. Beyond qu tion the gentleman has all he can do at th ‘age-stamp on the mole at my heart, because then perchance it may be left behind as unpaid matter. And don't let there be too much coffin either—I t to feel free.” “Goethe,” says Editor R. E. Cleveland, “is not universal.” | When such mysterious expres- sions are used in Chicago there is a general remark to this effect —“Goethe? Well, I should think not. There isn't a health- ier place in the world than this. Barring a few measles, we are always well.” Song in gentleman's bathing- house: “Man wants but little down below." The result. nt Beeause | Why isa bald head like h there'll be no more parting there. comicbooks.com