Judge — August 21, 1886 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ONCE TOO OFTEN. ** There's th catch hit “See me rattle the stic k along the fence an’ get the old man crazy. it ha: Why did Guiteau shoot Garfield? Probably for fun. Why the deluge? A mere matter of fun, Why did Tweed go to Black- 's island and die in Ludlow-street jail? For fun, What made Hubert Thompson die? Fun What a funny world it ist) What funny fellows must be the occupants of our peniten- Good chemists extract cu nd specifics for beaut nd long life from the rankest poisons. Here is a wizard who distils Jaughter from dishonor and wealth from humiliation. Heaven save us from our merriment! After ail, is there any cure for that? M0 IEE P—NO0 FURIOSO. The administration that fails to discriminate with care can easily bring discredit upon the country it represents. There is the foreible-for- cible administration which combines dignit, with good sense and is active and watchful merely that it may be just and take thorough care of the inte! submitted to its control and there is the forcible-feeble authority which cuts and thrusts whenever and wherever it is safe to do so but abases itself to the level of mud when it is threatened by a force equal to, or which its fear obliges it to think the supe- rior of, its own. We have had rather a long trouble with Canada and a brief one with hment to the soul to see st any- to become the bloodthirsty demon of war in the case of our little friends across the Rio Grande, at the same time that he humiliates himself to the blustering power on the other: side of the ocean. Give us good sense, Mr. Bayard. Give us the happy medium between extremes which is forcible without noise and ntle unto strength rather than weakness. No Heep can be tolerated here, and the fuss and fury of Bombastes are a disguise for fool- ishness and cowardice. AN AMERICAN POLICY. Mr. Bayard says he is very much in earnest over this Mexican question, ‘and suspects that Mr. Blaine is trying to excite the Mexicans i to worrying this government with the purpose in view of creating an issue in 1888. Now we have suspected this, too. It may be true that Mr. Blaine never created Cutting or his bad record ; that he never induced Rasures—if that is the man’s name—to put himself under Suspicion for stealing horses and get himself shot ; that he never had a man locked up in tives for} *}named BL. -|spending of nearly fifteen millions of hat im this time though.” making a case against and bringing dishonor | to the American ; that he didn’t incite and provoke the outrages upon American vi which have been perpetrated by the lauthorities, and that he had nothing todo with the Panama canal or the latest treaty between England and the United States, in which the former gets everything and the latter nothing; but all the same Mr. Blaine is a pretty wide: | jawake man, and there is no telling what he | | may do if he is given the requisite opportunit, It occasionally seems to the contemplative American up a tree as if this large amount of territory ought to be aggressive if there is to be anything of that kind. If anybody ought to put his back to the enemy, or imaginary, your Uncle Sam is not that person. How | would it be, Mr. Secretary Bayard, if we |—— had an American policy? What if we pain or Ireland or England for the purpose of 7 3 |mind. Why, Mr. Cleveland, should \a man devote his attention tothe part- ing of his hair and neglect the op- portunity to. gain wealth or |tion 2 “What shall it profit him if he make twenty-two cents and lose this own soul? Why plug the spigot lof the treasury, thou economical |spendthrift, and lose wealth galore | through the open bung ? WHEN YOUR ABLE LAWYER, like Strahan, has a hard case to defend he puts the court on trial with the in- tention of hanging it by the neck un- |til it is dead. This doesn't help the | hard case much, but it is balm to the lacerated conscience. ON THE LAST DAY of the late session jof congress Riddleberger of Virginia \. as so intoxicated and noisy that the senate adjourned for half an hour in order to preserve its self-respect. It would reached that result far better if it had adjourned | Riddleberger and done it so effectually that he would never again have the power to gather himself together. ‘You MUST ADMIT,” writes somebody to the Jupor, “that Mr. Evarts has at last spoken on the silver question.” Yes, indeed ; but what are his views? There was a man who spoke on a broad question of theology. “As between heaven and hell,” he said, ‘give me liberty or give me death.” It sounded well and he received much applause, but—— THERE BE TWO Neptunes, which their names are Gould and Bennett, and the fight in which they are engaged will show w is which; —! but meanwhile we shall lose much fish. should lead Ame 1 sentiment instead f permitting Mexico and Canada and icaragua and the various nonentities outside the illegitimate American bound: aries to lead it for us ? The United States area nation. It seems to be necessary to remind you of it. If there is present t ine, will he mal ntleman a few re- marks ¢ SOME EXTRAVAGANT ECONOMY. Probably the pension business has been abused. Some men who didn’t deserve pensions have got them, and some who deserved little have got much. On the other hand there are deserving veterans who never got anything at all and never will profit a penny's worth from their country’s gratitude. These weaknesses of a great government are unavoidable, and more’s the pity. But it does seem hard that the whole atten- tion of the chief executive of the nation should be devoted to the saving of pennies that would otherwise find their} way to the pockets of some good and| worthy veterans as well as those of some veterans of the other kind, and that he |should give his official sanction to the dollars of the people's money for the! ostensible improvement of rivers and harbors, but a large portion of which must inevitably find its way to the pockets of undeserving men and fail to| confer any benefit upon the Saal |taxpayers whatever. ReporTer—‘‘I have called to obtain re pagriing that a murder across the wa knife was sha These things weigh upon the public | instantly killed cut PARTICULARS. few particulars ? Och, thin, the blood was rid, and the man that was to loife agin.” tl comicbooks.com