Judge — August 21, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Miege W. J, AMwELL Hanay R. Hart Renxnanp GILLam PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President ~ - Vice-President Art Department Eattor - Manager ~ ‘Advertising Manager TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. 18 ADVANCE. ‘One copy. one year, or Stnumbers, . One covy, six months, or 3 numbers, . One copy, for 13 weeks, ; Single coples 10 cents each. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING CO., ter-Jevar ts for sale regularly at the American change in Paris and the American Exchange in London. MILLIONS For RIVERS and harbors, but not one cent for the veteran of the late war.—G. Cleveland. THE SPORTING WORLD is extremely dull since the adjournment of congress and Johu| L. Sullivan, ‘THe FISHERY QUESTION right around here— Why should Hamilton, junior, carry his eyes behind his ears? SomeBopy says Grover Cleveland is the only Democratic leader left. Such ignorance is deplorable. Mr. Cleveland isn’t a Demo- crat. AS EX-PRESIDENT ARTHUR has been killed off by Eli Perkins, there can be no doubt that the gentleman is rapidly recovering hi. health, Henry Lanovucuere says the Unionist Lib- erals of his country are mugwumps. Henry Henry! we wouldn't hit a dog with such » | club as that. | ¢Mr. HowE.ts thinks Zola the greatest liv- ing Frenchman. It isn't very much of a com- pliment, but in France they must be satisfied with what they can get. How opp IT Is that the religion which pre- vails in Belfast vindicates itself for the most part by action which ordinarily leads to the penitentiary and the scaffold. Tuosk CANADIANS mustn't go too far. Mr. q d has the spirit of a man, and he would put it to effective use right off if somebody hadn't borrowed it for temporary purposes, It's My OPINION that those fishermen didn't have a catch because they got into a passion and swore, and it's deuced mean that they should turn around and abuse me for it.—T. F. Bayard. ‘Tue Democracy of this country can find a sealed proposals, it being understood, of course, that M. B, Flynn shall have a large percent- age of the consequent spoil ‘THE PROPRIETY of putting ‘boodle” in the So much of it dictionary is under discussion. has been adopted by our aldermen and M. B. Flynn that we doubt if there is enough of it) left for the embalming process. THE LATE CONGRESS did much of its argu- ment in aloud and impassioned voice and with the clenched hand ; but the blood t it was not sufficient! large expenditure of wind and muscle. THE RIVER-AND-HARBOR-BILL signed by Mr. Cleveland appropriates $14,473,900; but we must remember that Mr. Cleveland vetoed ever so many pension bills and fairly exhausted himself in order to find reasons for doing so. THE IssvE on which Sam Cox will run for congress is hissuccessful flight from the temp- tations of the harems of Constantinople ; but it is feared that in his district this recommen- dation will hurt a great deal more than it helps. A GLIMMER OF HOPE. We shall recover from Mr. Tilden’s death. The world is young notwithstanding its age. Leta man fill it from its dome to its cellar and all around the intervening circumference, and there remain a few interstices for. the smaller insects, to say nothing of the projecting par- ticles on the verge to which they cling rather than fall and die. We shall survive. It is so ordered that when a man dies he can fill onl, one grave, and that of the regulation size. There is much more space now for breathing We shall improve after the emblems of regret’ to learn the limits of fun. at followed | y copious to warrant the| leader easily enough. Let them advertise for|have been put aside. It may even be possible | to enlarge. But what beggarly paupers we were! What a dreadful thing it was to reflect that, accord- ing to two or three other gigantic minds, there | was only one intellect, and that considerably a wreck of time and sickness, capable of con- trolling the destinies of this republic. FROM THE NEXT HISTORICAL NOVEL. It was in Belfast. The populace had been fired with Toryism and whisky and religion. * How fares the cause ?” inquired one enthu. t of another. Purty well, purty well,” was the response, | the speaker kissing the cross at his neck and the glass at his lips with great fervency. “Sure we burnded sivintane houses lasht night, not countin’ the barruns and the sthock in the same.” “That was well. Very well indeed. did ye no murder for the Lord ?” “Indade did we. The shtatistics o’ the mornin’ show eliven killed outhright and 130 hurted with wounds, an’ bethune the lot isa number o’ the women an’ childer.” “God be praised! Let the good work goon. Cheers for Randy Churchill an’ dith to ould Gladstone.” . THE LATER COCKTAIL. Mr. Squire wrote the note surrendering his | manhood and the official honor and wealth of New York “in fun.” Ye gods, what a that was! What humor there was in those few lines! All the planets might have set them- selves to work to disarrange each other and use the earth for a foot-ball, and then could never have produced more uproarious and dis- turbing facetiousness than that. We have yet What possibilities But THE IRI: Inspector—'* Where's your trunk?" p ALDERMAN—‘* Me thrunk, is it? av it, so Oi am.” SH OF IT. Be gobs, Oim shtandin’ right in the cintre comicbooks.com