Judge — August 14, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| such affection for the whole! | principle of small-pox that he| isn't a good judge. The Detroit Free Press says John L. Sullivan has accumu- lated $100,000 without raising]| any rents. Mr. Sullivan is not | given to rents. His forte is the abnormal bump. — | Sam Jones says the Dem- ocratic party is astride a whis- ky-barrel and the Republican | party astride a beer-keg. The selfish things! Don’t they want anybody else to have any? Mrs. PacrsNar—‘ Mr. Greengage, you do not any laities bathing i Mt heap 0’ trouble to look after, so T put up a sign, will find this the safest Lapa on the beach to bathe,’ and there ain't been a woman nigh me sence,” Huin of the Court. In General Miles’s pursuit of Geronimo we be- gin to suspect that the general is alittle ahead. We lay some of this heated term to the fact that E. Wheeler Wilcox, the poet of passion, has come out for cremation, S|car on a side track. Its to our honor through Cut- vous to be borne. If reports are correct George Gould thinks that it must be now the Kingdon’s coming, and necessarily the year of jubilo. . suffering from heart dis- ease. He thinks it is heart disease because the pain is confined to his left shoulder. Dan Rice is lecturing on temperance in Tex- as. Some day he'll succeed in converting| somebody and then he'll lose a drink. | - |pies she’s It is a pity that the Brazilian princeling should have gone so soon. We should have liked his opinion of our unrivaled bombs. An exchange tells how to select a melon. The information is of no good. Not a word is said in it as to the manners and customs of the dog. . Miss Cleveland put a new roof on her house at Holland Patent, and there are rumors that her publisher feels as if he needed one on his head. Every time Senator Blair wants a drink he smokes a twenty-five cent cigar. It is supposed that his smoking costs him about a thousand dollars a day. The Springfield Republican says the social virtues of England are not dead. N-no; but it must be admitted that they have suffered considerable injury. If our income, like Jay Gould’s, were ten cents every time the clock ticked we should ex- ercise the eternal vigilance which never lets the clock run down. They say that Jones of Binghamton wants to go to the United States senate, and we have heard it asserted that he wants all of those Alaska gold mines too. Henry Bergh says the whole principle of in- the surf in front of your house now.” R. GREENGAGE—" No, ma‘am. You see, women folks give us a It is true that our fellow-| citizen Susan B. Anthony had one offer of marnage; but the offerer was so badly injured ten minutes thereafter that he if he seem to have * Elderly ladies — couldn't have married had survived the experiment. It is alleged that Rose Coghlan will devote herself hereafter to raising onions. Well, if that marriage doesn’t pan out better than that we may at least insist that the vegetables shall not be brought up on the bottle. The babe that was born on the elevated road | the other day was switched five minutes after his arrival, and for some time occupied a whole There is such a thing as |commencing discipline too early. | There is apparently a disposition on the part | of the other survivors to censure Lieutenant Greely for not having starved todeath. Prob. ably the unfortunate gentleman will not le, such an opportunity escape again. A correspondent tells that Tweed hired three men to murder John Kelly, and that Mr, Kelly met them in a lonely place and so fright. ened them with astern and forbidden look that they fled. Mr. Tweed was a great man, but we never did think he knew how to select his murderers. Defaulters are well-meaning persons. They always intend to return their stealings. They wouldn't rob anybody for the world. Their good intentions are so boundless that finally they have to be taken into Canada to give them the accommodations they urgently need. We never saw but one defaulter who didn’t wear a smile of sweet benevolence and honest ind he couldn't wear it because of the derangement of countenance arising from violent and unex. pected death, The boys had hanged him, BLOOD TELLS. ELDERLY BLUESTOCKING (to publisher)—"I understand you need a literary editor for your magazine ?” PUBLISHER (affably)— Yes. May Tinquire if you are any relation of the president's ?” BLvEsTockinG (timidly)—"t No, sir; but I have occupied a similar position all my life.” PUBLISHER (uninterestedly)—‘‘ I’m sorry, madam ; but I’m afraid you will never do.” Some men are not as happy as their friends think they ought to be. SIDE. WHISPERS. Don't try to tell the age of | a rattlesnake by feeling its teeth, When a cat nurses pu p- |bound to suf- |fer from in- | gratitude. Those who have nothing don’t have to worry when banks are breaking. Bad luck | doesn't know | the porter's | jumper from the employ- er’s broad- cloth. The under taker is al- ways the most jconcerned about a sick neigbbor’s health. Some peo- ple crowd so much of their religion into Sunday that they haven't a bit left for Neiorpor— Say, Mike, what oculation is wrong ; but we suspect that he has week. on earth are you doing with your horse?" Mixe— Ther docther sez, sez he, Mike, yer hoss is overworked, that’s what be the rest of the | is, and he wants building up ;/and sure aint 1 a doin’ of it?” comicbooks.com ain ef]