Judge — August 14, 1886 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sages A Monee lS OF mh, ann: pe mill OF wt Lamediatel j fa) WA sash Ny ir) Any Ottack = Granh® im thie oe 5G or 4 Bowel lant. Co Sig pr by Druggists. "JOSEPH P. FELT & Co.—— ELECTROTYPERS, No, 28 Rose Sraccr, NEW YORK. evan Poares Srcciasry. KELLOGGS «& & MILLER AMSTERDAM I LINSEED 0 OIL WORKS, AMSTERDAM, N. Y., ESTABLISHED 1824. 1,700 MILES or SPECIAL NEWSPAPER EXPRESSES THE NEW YORK DAILY TRIBUN! ‘Sunday, 1,39 miles of fast special the day of isyue vver a larger area of the country than any other eastern newspaper. THE TRIBUNE prints full reports of baseball games, yachting, swimming and all other openalr sports, employing a large number of accurate reporters tn this tervice, two of them betng among the most pungent and interesting writers on these subjects now attached to the press, ‘Tho market reports, the telegraphic news and the volumin- ous special cable news THE TRIBUNE 1s now printing make the paper a most accurate, complete and valuable journal. Its fact of tmportance to young men that THE TRIBUNE 4a and has been historically) the strongest influence in America tn bringing about, by Protection to American Industry, that great variety of occupations which now existe in this country for our young men to.go tnto. THE TRIBUNE has now success: fully paralyzed the recent shameful effort of the Democratic ‘administration to break down John Roach, the veteran ship- builder, an effort which threw his 1,80 men out of work for several months. THE TRIBUNE advocates the submission to the people of Prohibition Amendment to the Constitution, and is Keeping the subject of Temperance constantly before the people. ‘THE SEMI-WEEKLY TRIBUNE, a delightful, varied and valu. able paper, #220 per year; In clubs of ten, 62.0 THE DAILY TRIBUNE, 73 cents @ month: 93 for six months ; $810 per year, This includes THE SUNDAY TRIBUNE, ‘Sample copies free. THE TRIBUNE, New York. r| no! BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP SEA. Mr. Pessmist—‘I tell you, my dear fel- low, that the country is going to the dogs, and salt won't save it. I've been reading the papers lately and I know what I'm talking about. Why, we will never have another president.” Mr. Optomist—‘ Nonsense ; the future of the country never looked brighter.” Mr. P.—*‘No nonsense aboutit. I've been reading Harper's Weekly and it proves conclu- sively that Mr. Cleveland is the only Demo- crat that could be elected, and if he should be nominated the politicians will defeat him.” Mr O.—‘ Well, that only affects one side and gives the Republicans a better chance.” Mr. P.—‘' Yes, that is true; but the Evening Post gives the most satisfactory reasons to show that Mr. Blaine is the only Republican who stands any chance of pulling through, and proves that if he is nominated his enemies in his own party will prevent his election.” Mr. O.—‘* How about other parties ¢” Mr. “Oh, ‘only the Democratic and Republican parties are in the game. The others don’t amount to anything.” Mr, O.—‘ Well, if that’s the case, I'll take to the woods. I had no idea that we had got so near the brink of destruction.” HARRY J. SHELLMAN, KNEW IT BY THE STYLE. Eprtor (to exchange editor)—‘‘ Where did you get that rare story I heard you telling the reporters a while ago ¢” EXCHANGE EDITOR (casually)—‘'I read it in one of the papers that came this morning, but can’t remember which one.” Eprror (indifferently)—“ As it was a little off color I guess it must have appeared in one of the religious exchanges. WOULONT VOTE IF THEY COULD, Merritr (plausibly)—‘*I don’t believe in woman suffrage, and I don’t think the women themselves do either. How is it that in those towns where they are given the use of the ballot so few exercise the privilege ?” Mrs. PuGwasu (confidentially)—‘‘ Oh, that is easily accounted for. You see, the average woman never likes to confess that she is old | F2: enough to vote. FOR LOVE—NOT MONEY, Youna Lapy (to costumer)—‘‘ Have you such a thing as a ballet dancer’s costume which you would hire out for a few days ?” CostuMER (absequiously) — ‘Certainly, madam. May I inquire if you are a member of the profession t” Youna Lavy (horrified)—‘ Good gracious, Iam merely going to the sea-shore fora few days, and want to use it as u bathing suit.” MAY BE HAPPY Y YET. BROKER (casually)—‘‘Is this Dilke trial likely to exert any influence in this country ?” Frienp (confidently)—‘ Yes ; if it is pro- longed any length of time the Sun will again begin to print its daily circulation every week.” MRS, PUGWASH'S “SAYINGS. Ministers gives us very little consolation for our money. 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