Judge — August 7, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. 5 ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF eaoomere Astiocs yormten—* Maguire Duffy, where are you going?” M.D. down to der ball grounds ter see der gan by bighi-time don't get seared about ne fer Learry a knife. EZ may talk aboot yer widdys,” said Mr. Me- Zimmerman to a party of friends at the Smoking Potheen “yez may talk aboot yer widdys,” said he. “They be all axpert in coortin’, so they be, but for parspicooity of janius in this regard an’ ray- sonable intimacy wid the parts of shpache—| sayin’ nothin’ of her charums—the widdy Me- Nulty was the most shtupindousest igzample in moy axparience. Whin Oi furst tuk the soight of her afther | the wake wid a toidy sarcumferince ov whoite tully aboot her led faychures, the mos refoined an’ illigantest shpit curls on aitch timple an‘a karpulint pocket-buk snuglin’ intil sez Oi to mesilf sez Oi, ‘It's a ame, so it is, that poor Dan Mc-| "t hev lived long enough to se yunt widdy his woife’d be mal an’ in mebbe the same brith sez Oi, ‘ Mrs. Me- Nulty, ef there’s wan thing more sartint nor same is that Mr. McZimmerman is y precar’us to callin’ on ye,’ an’ be the | same token that gintleman was ooshered intil rddy's presence wid the dark of the !"—and here Mr. MeZimmerman halted long enough to assure his auditors by his expression that he knew he was inaded and intended firing a fifty-twocalibre statement into them—"Brys,” said he “talk aboot Vaynius | an’ Cleopathrick an’ Hilen an’ the loike o° then—they were jist oogres be the side of her. Ef Agymimnon an’ Parysoite an’ Appolyna- rius an’ the risht of thim Throjins had iver sot oyes on the widdy McNulty it’s a sartint thing they'd be foightin’ till the prisint toime, So they wud. Howandiver, Oi was ooshered in, as Oi was tellin’ yez, an’ ef the Impriss Ujaney iver salyuted Wid a moore graceful | bind to the back, or igzibited in the dooin’ of one] Y ht | ¥ | tate it a foiner frinylogical igspanse _be- chune the ears, thin Oi niver earn till of at. “Widdy Me Nulty,’ says Oi, drop- | pin’ on the taty-tate be the soide of her, ‘it’s moortified Or HIMSELF, wasn’t per- mitted to post- |pone his de- sayse for many a year to come,’ ““Thankin’ ye,’ sez she, ‘Mr. McZim- merman, for yer consy- lation, but O'im hopin’ ’ be the same token that yer mortyfication in the primises isn’t ayquil to poor Dan's.’ “Oj hope not,’ sez Oi, takin a sly squint at the flicker of plisantry Oi knewn was jipod the mii oly of her faychures ; Oi hope not, | Mrs. McNulty ; but isn’t it moighty assuagin’ to yer grafe to contimplate the foine sind off ave the departed 1" “*Viry assuagin’,’ sez she, prisince, Mr. MeZimmerman, it the rusht out of me soul, so to shpake, whin I saw yersilf thrippin’ a rigadoon at the wake, an’ Oi recognized, not ownly the same shtoyle| of fut, but the ch’ractheristic i | limbs of the desayzed. Moy ! but the re , an’ if T ain't back am that Dan |i | He has the same bloomin’ roosh of hilth to the provoscus. Indade ye remoind of ‘im !" “* ‘It's plazed Oi am to lerrun the resimblance, |tho’ its shmall fault o’ mine, Mrs. McNulty,’ sez Oi, gettin’ narvous, an’ wondtherin’ there any insurance agin her flatthery. “**In coorse not, Mr. Cornaylius,’ sez she— takin’ ahoult of me be me Christian cognomen, so to shpake—‘ in coorse not, but all the same the resimblance is that shtroikin’ that, whin ye kem in at the doorway beyant the bind of yer hid an’ the raych of yer arrum was so loike Dan's when he was usin’ to be kissin’ me that Oi was disapp’ inted— ‘dad n’ Oi was.’ relator, **Oi'm not. ded to the suggestion, peschape from the pri: ises, but Oi do be sayin’ that a captivatin' Oirish widdy loike Mrs. McNulty can raache a cloimax wid moore bewildtherin’ axpedition than the bisht diplomat in her majesty’s sar- vice.” WADE WHIP! ‘OUR POCKET LEXICON. was Elevated—. ich man’s drunk, Sin—Any wrong that is found out. Theft—Stealing an eight-cent loaf of bread. Popularity—Setting up the drinks for ‘ the boys.” Foolishness—Paying a lawyer $3,000 to fight @ $300 suit. Profanity—Talking like a parson, without being one. Repentance—Sorrow caught at it. Financiering—Appropriating $2,000,000 of other people's money. Obstinacy—In a father—Spartan firmness, to be commended. In a son—Rank mulish- ness, to be whipped out of him. SHE DEFENDED HER COUNTRY. Mernrittr—“I see you have a new servant girl Littie Jounxy (confidentially) —- because you were es, and heart-rindin’, Mr. MeZimmerman. * sez Oi, ‘Mrs. McNulty !" quoite pitrifoied wid the consate that she'd tuk a con- thract to do the sparkin’ hersilf. It's thrue for sez she, ‘an’ | along o’ dhat Oi | niver luk at Dan's wardthrobe but Oi say to mesilf, “How very becomin’ these same wud be to Mr. McZim merman. Ye do so remoind me of ‘im.’ “Tt's mitygatin’ tothesarcumstances to lerrun as much,’ sez Oi, gettin’ the notion that she was growin’ pe “*Ah, wint on, ‘an’ nivir pull a corrk out of a decanther that Oi don't hizi- long enough over the parfume to remark, ‘‘ How sar- tint Oi am that Dan's frind, Cor nalyius, wud inj'y this, for he does so | remoind me of ‘im, SJnmy Furn— Say, Mi | you must ask me the way | of you.” I tell you she’s a corker.” Bringer (speaking up)—“ Indaade Oi’ not, sorr. Oi cum frum Limerick.” ickey Hickey, let's play dat I'm a policeman and to the city hall, and then I must club de life out Micxry Hickry—‘‘ Naw, I won't.” Jpoy Fuixy—‘“ Oh, pshaw ! you never want to have no fun.” comicbooks.com