Judge — August 7, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 Ham of the Court. The college waiter fills his patrons with awe, and thus saves the landlord much expense. A pitcher of beer put out a threatening fire Chicago, and yet they say that beer is dele- ious. . Louis thinks of setting up as a literary centre. There is a man there who edits an al- manac. The reverend who was rescued at Cape May the other day was plucked as a brand from Let us pity the exiled French princes, Ne- cessity may oblige them to become useful, and that will break their heart The valet Coats, who recently eloped with and married a wealthy young lady, will be found presently to be a misfit. A writer says love ix more dangerous than a pistol. We don't know v but perhaps be- cause nobody knows it is loaded. Soldiers in camp have to stand up to be shaved. Thus they have two methods of obeying the order “Right about fac The impending bachelor of journalism will be extremely ornamental, and we must cher- ish our affection for the beautiful and the true. Let us not commend Mrs. Gladstone for darning her husband's stockings until we learn whether Mr. Gladstone is afflicted with corns. Before using. After using. Louise Michel says she doesn't expect to visit America until after herdeath. That will) ~~ be time enough, old lady—we shall get along, lluded to has no regan’ for the public's feelings. very patiently. ‘der _ ttific paper devotes seven columns to A long article is di gers of kissing. ing that Mrs. Clev will be ren bered that w the very day of her m Botsey Moorly, known in Cape Elizabeth, A Chilian who was continuously drunk in| Me., as the woman who never fretted, lived to Washington drank, it is said, to drown grief.| be 105 y old, but we must bear in mind He must have had a gre: lof grief, and it| the fact that she finally ere just the same. must have worn a life-preserver. ‘The Elmira Adve says it is impossible The Canadian thistle is overrunning the|to teach young women the value of money. streets of Chic: Manna was the food sent/The fact that the value of money lies in its to the children of Isracl, but the Chicagoans | capacity to buy gives the lie to this scandalous must have a very different kind of fodder. | assumption. “These picture boomerangs,” says Jacob) The prince of Wales is said to have been for Sharp, “have no regard for a person's feel-;/home rule during the late elections. The ings.” The trouble is, Jacob, that the person!story is so reasonable that we have no doubt it was the cause of Mr. Gladstone's melan- choly failure. An exchange tells “‘ how to tell a girl's age.” How would it be, if the interested person has a right to know, to take the girl's word for it? That is so simple that nobody seems to have thought of it. It must not be expected that Mr. Bayard act with too much promptness and feroe- our relations with Canada. Mr. Bay. ard is deaf, and we have heard it asserted that he has a cork leg. A water-witch wants to go through the Niagara whirlpool. After she has gone down in it it shall be written in the spray above her, “This the water-witch killed her.” This is not humor—it is a poem. An Alabama man got a divorce from his wife and immediately proceeded to die of grief. They are very loyal in Alabama now, and we dare say the death was an unavoidable protest against the secession. Buffalo claims a population of 240,000. This habit that the Buffalo census-takers have got ,,,\into, of counting Rochester and other outlying | villages within their borders, cannot be too severely counted out. ‘HOME GROWN. William, at a grocer’s, saw a Ticket grace a verdant pile. “* Home grown cucumbers,” read William, Read it with a smile. Next day cried the neighbors, What's this Noise that fills our hearts with fear?” “ Home groan cucumbers!” said William, Said it with a tear. MRS, GRORGE ARCHIBALD, BETWEEN FRIENDS. “*My dear Brown, I am about getting ried. “What, you? One of the most hardened bach- elorson the face of the earth? I thought your heart was better steel-plated than that.” Quite true, my dear boy, quite true. The heart is furnished with steel armor; but un fortunately love is a genuine torpedo !” AT THE DENTIST'S. “What do you think of my teeth 7” “My dear sir, you have splendid teeth.” What do you purpose doing to,ghem, then ?” | “Nothing much. It will only be necessary to extract ten and plug the rest.” THE EFFECT OF BUFFALO BILL'S “WILD WEST" SHOW ON OUR STREET GAMINS. “* Dere's one of dose ferocious beer boycotters, Tim. Jest watch me snare ‘im !” comicbooks.com