Judge — July 31, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

5 STRAUSS ON THE VETOES. Since such success has attended Wilhelm Strauss's remarkable poems on ‘ Waiting for the Froth” “Der Vistles on Der Poats,” his saloon has been a favorite resting place for the literati of the Bowery. But Sat- urday at 9 o'clock busi- ness was dull and Johnnie, the newsboy, dropped in and threw his papers down on a table, and lighting a cigarette was going to wait a while and rest. “Chonny,” said Strauss, ‘ vas ist der news in der bapers 7” “Oh, lots. Buy one and read, Strau: crary fellow and you ought to brace yourself up with the news.” “Chonny, you read by der noosbaper for me py der time nobody comes in and I gif you stick candy mita pretzel, ain’d id ?” * Allright, Strauss, What will you have—perleece, foreign, city ushington news? You pay8 yer pretzel and you takes yer f us, Chonny, der Vashington r 7 Verry good; here's the latest subjick “** President Clevela: the bills presented for all of them private pen Ss. of comment: J has been busy during the week looking over ignature. He has vetoed seventy-three bills, ion bills. He is to be the great vetoer.’” “Chonny, wust ist das vetoes? By chiminy ! Iain'd tumble oop to dot?” and } You are getting to be a lit- | bension von Swartz unt Hofensack vas been smell der boom of der cannon. Chonny ?” “What, Strauss?” “Bedder dot Cleefeland got a sure ding on his pipe unt tobacco pefore he make so much drouple apoud a match—ain’t dot so? He vas drivin’ der flies off der counter vilst der spicket vas out der parrel unt der beer allofer der floor. Veto,ch? Vell I bacd you.” “You forgot the candy and pretzel, Strauss. I must be goin’.” “Forgot noting, Chonny. Unt here is a glass pier too. He vas peen der great vetoer. So-o-o! Chonny, you hear dot story apoud der man yas so nice he got a butcher to gut his oysters 7” “That's a chestnut, Strauss.” “IT dond care uf it is, Chonny. I baed you Cleefeland got more shells as meat alretty fon dot vetoes. Ven it comes by der election he finds oud more aboud dot veto as he could enchoy. You hear me spraken sie my pest warble. Ton’t leave der pretzel, Chonny. Dot makes you krow oop pig unt hearty. Coom agin.” THE OLD PROFESSOR, OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. HIT AND MISS SHOTS, WITH NOW AND THEN A BULLSEYE. ‘Wren fish bite de bes’ yo! bait is gone. Hit am easich fo’ toc say no dan to git bail. De one wa't eats wid de cook gits de bes’ mo’sels. Nebbah clean yo’ shoes twell yo" git outen de dus’. Golly! how fas’ dat cawn meal yo’ got on tick goes. A niggah may be too po’ toe weal suspendahs, but yit keep a dog. Ef de watch dog an’ de tief strike up a frie Thab seen men mean ‘nuff toe borry yo" fish polean’ den ask yo' toe dig bait. Ef politicians was good-nachud de y’ar roun smiles wud'n count | lection day. Dar er a many folk in dis wol’ dat doun’ know w'en da is well off | twell da git in jail. | ‘ship, good-bye chickens. \ “Veto is to stop ‘em, disapprove ’em, go back m.” “Ts dot so-0-0 ? He vas disapprof. sion ¢ “Now you're shoutin’, Strauss.” “Bimby Hofensack, oop py Dwendy-second street, he vas blow his leck off mit Sheneral Howard at Shancellorsville. Unt Mike Swartz | vas lose his arm alretty mit Sigel. Py chim etty | Cleefeland vas bedder go a leedle slow on dot veto—you dink Den he vas stop der bension. He vas go back on der ben- so?” n’t goin’ back on all of this lot are unworthy—bad cases.” “Ts dot so-o-0? He says so? Vas he dere? I hear der fellers reat der bapers oud he vas a sheriff! in Puffalo unt done his fightin’ mit a rope. How much got dot bresident a year, thousand slugs, Strauss.” “Okseckly. Unt all dem fellers dey got more money as a agweduck condractor unt veto dot Straddling a blind, HINTS ON POKER. Nebbah trus’ toe luck, ‘case hit:doan’ , happen roun’ we'n yo" is lookin’ fo’ hit. Dar er some t'ings in dis wol’ dat a’n’t ‘preshated, but a dollah nebbah: goes be 0, Hit on’y takes a rumor sometimes toe sear a ma reputation ez bad ez de small-pox wud his face. J. A. WALDRON, SIDE WHISPERS. We can be generous and yet not hon. est. A woman is more scared of a mouse than of a ma It often hi little and th There is one great fault with the poetry of the present day—it scems intended to be understood only by the poet himself. ppens that the class knows aacher less. 2 comicbooks.com