Judge — May 22, 1886 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

6 JUDGE. next week a real, genuine United States flag took the place of the confederate one—only it was upside down; and, curiousas it may seem, I didn’t notice the mistake till the edition had been all run off and distributed. And I think I} never saw angrier men than those I met next day. Their eyes blazed more than ever. They hissed and hooted at me on the street. They indulged in such rude remarks as ‘Shoot the copperhead,’ ‘Run out a barrel of flour and empty iton him,’ * Put him in tar and feathers,’ ‘Hang him to a sour-apple tree,’ &c. ‘T wanted veryfmuch to go out of town, but my funds were low and the railroads wouldn't trust. ‘I felt bad. I tried to explain ina ra- tional manner to one or two of the more thoughtful, but they turned their backs on me! with the remark, ‘Oh, go and hang yourself!’ “ About eight o'clock that night the battle of Bull’s Blutf commenced. I was sitting in m; sanctum when I caught the opening roar of it. There was at first a confused hum, and it grew louder and louder and scemed to be coming my way. There had been bad war news that day, and two or three of my friends were with | me, chuckling overit. For my part I couldn't chuckle at anything. I never felt so little like chuckling in my life. The roar came nearer, and seemed to stop in front of my building. There were repeated groans and hisses, and |to be given to the poor or used for man of the attacking force. ‘Come down and we'll put you union down, as you did that flag!’ “To my unbounded astonishment a wild yell followed this imposing threat, to which there was not a dis- senting voice. “Tused my unimpaired eye and dis- covered a barrel of flour in the midst of the crowd. I knew it didn’t come there by accident, and that it was not making bread. The wretches had pine torches, moreover, so that the ex-| hibition might be fully illuminated. They were not exactly a mob, either, for a portion of them answered to mil- itary orders, having been previously drilled as Wide Awakes. “Come down, you traitor!” called out an extremely coarse man, at the same time sending a stone through a pane of glass, “Now I was always modest and 1] didn't want them to make a show of me. I would rather go and hide than| get up before any audience. ‘I pray you excuse me, gentlemen. Ihave a|_ § bad cold,’ said I. “They laughed dodge.” and jeered and the Knights of Labor affectin’ DOND ME: \that’s trobblin’ me, but the days of R OF 8. OP R.—** It ain't the nights of labor labor I'm trying to when I looked out of the window, which was| hissed and threw stones, and the roar grew | open, a bad egg hit me in the eye. My spirits were low enough without that, and when I saw my chuckling friends leapmg from the back windows, each with a white face and a scared look, I made up my mind that there was | no such thing as steadfast friendship in this! work “Come down, you copperhead!’ shrieked al louder every minute. * Flank the building! led out the captain of the Wide Awakes. Sections to the right and left of it! Corporal. go to the rear and cut off his retre: “There was a hint in the words, and I took it. Iputout the tallow candle. I rushed to a private back entrance and out through along lane before the corporal’s guard got around HE KNEW ‘VistTor To New York—‘‘ Wall, wall! never once thought they'd git to building oi your house towed to any part of the city.” TOO MUCH, there. I mounted the hill beyond it like a deer. I dashed through wood and brake and thistle and grain. I turned my back upon Bull's Bluff forever. Theenemy had it, and I le: shortly thereafter that they had wrecked the establishment, throwing the type into the street and dividing the press into small pieces and sinking them in the neighboring stream, I have never seen Bull's Bluff since. It is the worst place to bluff that I know of.” The bald-headed man smiled the sad, sweet smile again and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. |“ Tshall never quite recover from it,” he said. ‘But you said you lost your enquiringly remarked a sympathizing listener. | * Ah, [had almost forgotten that,” was the mournful reply. ‘The battle of Bull's Bluff | was the cause of it, but the loss didn’t occur quite there. I got ashamed of my: that, and wanted to assume a disguise. I used ja hairdye which was highly recommended, | and it took the hair all out by the roots. A | it will never come again—it will never come | again.” WORLDLY WISDOM. | Worldly Wisdom 's a plump, little, jolly old wo- man, One-half of her spirit, the other half human ; Who sits in her easy chair, cosy and warming, And merrily laughs while life’s farce is perform- ing. She has one single rule for her friends and her foes : “Take things as they come—take the worl goes 1” BIR A MISSING LINK. “Tt is in acase of railroad collision or tumble | down a ladder that we appreciate the foresight | of an allwise providence in creating the other | sex.” | “Certainly; in seasons of pain and suttering woman’s tenderness "- | “mean if woman had never been created | each of us fellows would have one more rib to | get broken.” | In Arizona the “mean annual rainfall” is I often heard of how scarce land was in New York; but about two inches; in Alaska about six feet. Of mn the water ; but there's one advantage. you can have | two such extremely opposite mean rainfalls it is not easy to decide which is the meanest. comicbooks.com