Judge — May 1, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. 5 NLESS you can muse i y On the absent face that has fixed you ; Unless you can love as the angels 1 With the breadth of heaven bet: Unless you can dream that his faith The behoving and unbehoving Unless you can die—when the dream is past, Ah never call it—loving ! jsion the flight of time was has- tened by asocial game of poker, and during the pastime the Hon. Welcome gave indisputa- ble evidence that he had re- sided in Wash- jington by hold- ling a sequence TRUE LOVE. crowd all d —Mre. Browning. in succession, Unless you can muse on her face in a crowd, |and conducting And think of her all day Monday ; |himself during Unless you can tell her on Wednesday night |each operation What she wore the preceding Sunday ; And treat her to caramels and cream, Your fond devotion proving ; Unless you can give her the earth, fenced in, Oh, never call it—loving. Unless you can live in a two-button coat, ‘And an ultra English collar ; Unless you can keep her in * Marechal Neils” At the rate ot four for a dollar ; Unless you can take her for what she’s worth— Behoving or unbehoving— Unless you can die, when your cash gives out, ol I to call it—loving. Unless you can teach her to roller skate, And that when your feet are aching, And cut up your clothes for her crazy quilt, And smile when your heart is breaking ; And carry her gloves, and fan, and wrap, And look like a Mayday morning— Oh, call it madness, or what you will, But never call it—loving. For young and old, they are all alike And the world isa vale of sorrow, And oyster suppers an empty dream— When you settle the bill on the morrow ; And the old-fashioned girl, who could knit and sew, And who wore no bangs on her forehead, Is gone to live where the daisies bloom, And the ones that are left are horrid ! KITTIE K. OLD CHOCOLATE. THE AFRICAN PHILOSOPHER DISCOURAGES THE AMBITIOUS SCHEMES OF A OUDISH NEW-COMER IN THE WARD. > The corner groc- “iy ery coterie has been bowing down before a new idol. The Hon. Jones, as he calls himself, a new Af- rican in the ward, is the man, Hon. Welcome claims to have been the private secretary of a member of congress from ‘ Nawth Ca'lina,” but was probably his valet. The new-comer at first excited the admiration of the colored population of the grocery vicinity by wearing yellow gaiterettes, a red’ necktie and a Derby hat of recent issue, day in and day out, and by a lofty style of conversation blended with a somewhat unusual accompaniment, namely, a desire to become acquainted with everybody and shake hands. Littleneck Green at first entertained a suspicion that the Hon. Welcome ®as not a desirable acquaintance—he is jealous of popularity in others—but has now joined the procession of admirers. The era of good- fellowship between the pair began at a party Sven in honor of the new-comer by the daughter of Neverdie Calhoun. On this occa- Welcome) The! |with an imper- penitent —______| turbation which led his fellow players to place all their valuables in sight in defence of nothing better than pairs, threes, or at the best a full. Having proved that he was a aclever politician, the Hon. Welcome Jones revealed that he was ‘‘agemman” as well, by devotinga share of his winnings to“ working the growler” for the delectation of his com- | panions, who broke up hilariously happy, if | impecunious. From that evening Littleneck, h the others, was ready to do homage to the Hon. Welcome Jones The new-comer was introduced at the grocery by one of the coterie, but Old Chocolate, the oracle of the community, did not seem to * cot- ton toe” him. ‘ Yo" mus’ eat-a peck ob salt wid a man befo’ yo’ vencha toe bet on “im,” ex- plained the old gentleman to one of the com- pany who had expostulated with him for his coldness toward the Hon, Welcome. “Ef shakin’ han’s an’ tippin’ yo" hat was all dat er | necessumsa’y fo’ frien’ship, yo’ might ez well | HARD if | First jake, vat you going to Secoxp Do.—*I don’d know ; it's putty har clothes.” . First Do.—* Yes, dat's so. flush and fours] bow an’ scrape et ebery hoss yo’ meet an’ pass de time ob day wid de dogs in de street.” Old Chocolate scuffed into the grocery, aday or two after the party above mentioned, and found the Hon. Welcome the center of a listen ing company. The conversationalist was mak- ga proposition which seemed to strike the ancy of thecoterie toa dot. The Hon. Welcome, knowing the influence wielded by Old Choco- late, was anxious to enlist him in the project, |and at once dropped his remarks to the others, of whose support he was sure, and began to jangle for the old gentleman's approval: “Wry, how ah yo’, Mistah Chocolate?’ I | was jist ‘markin’ toe dese gem'n dat I wish yo" happen in, fo’ we been discussin’ a plan by wich de cullud gem'n ob dis city kin take a |long step toe de front in a social an’ I may say ja beneficial way, sab.” “Huh-huh,” ina tone of inquiry, but cer- tainly to a non-committal effect. “Yissah,” continued the Hon. Welcome. “We er gwine toe awgenize a lodge, sah—a fraternal s'ciety. We desi’ toe make hit ez potential ez de Masons, ez pop'lah ezde Knights ob Pythia, ez closely-boun’ in the knot ob fel- lowship ez de Odd Fellows—in short, we wish toe combine de beauties ob ceremony ob all de secret awdahs wid dair impressiveness ob regalia, sah, an’ we ‘spec’ dat de benefits too flow fom membarship, sah, will be great.” ““Huh-huh,” repeated Old Chocolate, listen- ing like one impressed. “We hab a’mo' ‘cluded toe call hit ‘De Wigwam ob de Refulgent an’ Independent | Awdah ob Prophets ob Peace an’ Truth, No. 1.'" said the Hon, Welcome, with enthu- siasm, exhibiting a paper with the above title | written in pencil, and with the names of the | would-be charter members who had thus far | placed their hands and seals, the seals being TIMES. if your son for a birt-day bresent?” times. I guess I haf some buddons sewed on his I guess I haf my boy’s hair cut.” comicbooks.com