Judge — January 2, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

or PFE TON TO '86. Le Roi at mort! Vice e Roi l The winter morn your sire was born Trang a pealag bell, And sang and laughed and stoutly quaffed Of mellow muscadel He promised fair, that dead king there,— He was a jolly prince; But sourly frowned when he was crowned, And has not seen me since. Ab, well | know, but breathe it low, Th a faithtess race, And on the throne were never known, To know an old friend's face. He promised me that I should be A noble in the land, With w estate and serfs to wait And come at my and, ised me immunity ing-house and blues, From bills and bores and pot-house scoros, And debts, and duns, and dues. He promised, too, when well he knew He lied, as time hath proved, ‘That he would bring, before the spring, The lady fair I loved But spring is thee And Autumn day The year lies low be And L live o summer dead are done, ath the snow, ype Yet drink with me in loyalty— A brimming beaker drain, May the tricks That stain his father's reign! Aye, let us drink until we blink; I every bumper b His father's treachery. And let us hear your voices clear In rousing chorus tin d, his mass is said, king Long live his son, the mane. cane. Briefs Submitted. A bad manner is a sin which often covers a multitude of charities. The average dog prefers to go on all fours, though his tail does keep a-waggin’. An ill-fitting coat is one of the bad habits which fashionable society will not tolerate. Never despair of success, Even the drowning man will reach land at last, if he keeps on sinking. If it be not the use but the abuse of liquor that makes men drunk, who so habitually dead drunk as the temperance lecturer? The Italian peasant makes bread out of chestnuts. ‘The American paragrapher is lucky if he can make his beer out of chest- nuts, ‘The administration puts an end to the Republican postmaster'’s suspense by sus- pending him. Contradictory sort of fact, this, but cold as steel. Dio Lewis informs us that ‘ no devotee of tobacco has graduated at the head of his class in any college where statistics have been preserved.” Remedy: Don’t preserve statistics. None but the brave deserve the spoils. ‘The hero who struck John Brown in the face, while the dangerous old man lay on his back, wounded and blesding, in the Ar- THE JUDGE. 11 | A BAD SIGN, “Well, I guess 1° drop over to Skinner's and make my purchases now, if I've examined your goods long enough to suit you,” observeda shopping fiend. “Ty Skinners?” gasped the dealer as he wallowed among his overhauled stock, ** what did you come in here at all for, then?” But the fiend made no ansier but to point with her umbrella to the placard which reads, “Examine our goods before purchasing else- where.” | | mahiBacce ad | senal at Harper's Ferry, has been appointed COME, YE’ DISCONSOLATES to office by the President. __ Sum Jones’ rough epigrams, it is said, cut tothe quick. Likely enongh. ‘The ugliest | Poor Murphy had fallen on evil days, cuts of all are made by tools in want of the Ht had sunk to zero; grindstone. But what an original of a he spent the last ny he had, shepherd—who cuts up the strayed sheep to. He would die like an old Pagan hero, bring them to the fold again It appears that the salary of the chief | down to the dock, cook at the Parker House is not any higher ‘om was filled with emotion, than the salary of the President of “Harvard As he heard the sad waves re in University. “The malicious foreigner has From the depths of the infinite ocean, reasons when he sneers at the beggarly w in which we patronize the fine arts. And he thought the river was Lethe's stream, Vice seems to be flush at Washington, but | And would lead to the heavenly dey land; \y we are happy to observe that, as in the case | While the truth of the matter was that the tide Hn of the Rake’s Progress, it is closely followed | Would land hhim more near Barren Island \| by hanging. Vice Jones suspended; vice Smith suspended ‘e the kind of sentences © take his last leap, | with which the daily press is teeming. im fast by the shoulder, Sam Jones warns his hearers that they © hard with the end of the club, | must not expect to find in his sermons the | w colder. polished style of Lord Macaulay. Lord ’a mercy, no, Sam. No more do we expect to find the style of that Lord who held forth onthe Mount. Sam seems to be a plain, | For the world had no ni Christian, Lord-despising patriot who has | wi pli emerged from a plain bath of Jefferson Brickdust. Then he fell on his knees and besecched the big cop ‘o allow him to end his existence, | or a person like him, no longer could ubsistence, But the cop said: “* Mine tear frent, now lisden mit me, I'll releev 1 your sorrow, alretty, Not so Slow. ¢ T must you arresd, “What a wretchedly slow and drawling | singer that Hulsapple is,” opined Mrs. Briggs. ‘* But he ain’t quite as bad ag ho | ‘So. as you say used to be.” vi “T have heard say that he has beat his own time lately,” suggested Briggs from be- hind bis newspaper. veary uf life, n't you seck oud? der Nye Aqueduct, de veck owd.” decenter death Go, mine frent, dake a Und you're tead as a uail p; 2.4, O'CONNELL. l| comicbooks.com