Judge — December 5, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

And he It makes but little difference to Whether from Whatever be our origin Conce made as He will be found am The poet truly Briefs Submitted. behind y goat. sher feels the trank The power the thrown —the bi The baggage- most at home on lines. ©The end of courtship is marr nd marria the ship. Th est thing In corsets is not us the She seldom gets out of bed before noon, ‘The American who can es- cape being the victim of an smptata monument, must a prodigy of obscurity Our Jeff raised the standard of rebellion so high that a freshest. | poor imitator like Riel has no | but must hang for it. ‘Tarbox, though quite «| youg Nevada town, has al- ready one Foote in the grave. Ife was shot lust week in a saloon. * Marriage, to a large class of our young people, seems to be a bugbear. Whereas | courtship seems to more re- semble a hug bear. Lord ‘Tennyson is said to be at work on a new poem. ‘The alarmed public cares not a contintal how new poem is; but anxiously guiness, How long, ort Gov. Hill, they say, ‘* be- gan life asa printer's devil.” A devil of a beginning, truly ‘The usual sad, bad way is to begin life as a baby—and end by never becoming Governor. sh in- Mitigating Misfortune. SorrHeartev OLp( d affair, indeed stand many val were lost?” “Well, no,” answered the insurance man, looking up cheerfully, as he turned the paper, “ only two of the five hundred blowed up were in- sured, and the payments on both policies won't be over eight hundred dollars.” a. I under- able lives the | “Oh, TH PREHENSILE JUDGE. PHILOSOPHIZING, FF Leaning his head That el But isn ina distant corner ay see ly Chimpanzee of a tree, me tr braneli wane and knows his AB ¢ a thir like pt are th has never be 1 any other man— andl improven reat Creator's plan. This} ed And his unt tities have newer yet been ¢ Ona nments, for he is alwa tail be pitifully murmurs And ever and anon bi While b houghtfully will sean, This is not the end of man,” hat ie Thisness of the That," nd from a lear 1 School of Phi ) lem vow that when the year rolls the crowd upon their classic ground ther you or me onkey or from man we trace deny it if ean— The mind's t of the man, n The Tale of My Thanksgiving Turkey. measure “Ah, there, my dude,” said I to my other morning,” have you such a thing turkey about your stall, something nice you know “Spring turkey! you bet; just what the way, you know I Kill all my own poultry I noddes “Well, you see that pair hanging at the end of the rack up ther Well, that pair used to go around the yard springing up and down like mad. I have known them to spring 36 hours at a time and not half try; why that one on the left used to spring sideways at times un- til some one would come out and stop it.” They | spring up to their roost and spring down again, and, you can believe it or not, but an hour or eo after I had killed them they went springing around like a couple of idiots. Maybe you don’t call them spring turkeys, well, I docs, marketman the as a nice spring “That is a fine story vou have just sprung on me, my friend. You don’t expect me to swallow it, do you? “Which,” said he; ‘the turkey?” My wife bought the turkey this year. used to | OFF THE BENCH. ALL SIGNS PALL at Hallowe'en, ambition A GOOD MANY actors’ need many to star asonings. Tue bored, PUPILS constitute the real school- not the directors, Ricuts tuat no one should deny to a woman are marriage rites. Win curl, THE New darkey hair tonic, Anti- cure the skating mania? ‘THe MILKMAN resented it when his con- greseman sent him a speech upon ‘ Our water-ways.”” Wuy bo Nor the sailors, when they holy- stone the deck, sing, ‘* Rocked in the cradle of the deep?” THe cineratin, CHA for in- man- the _crematory, 4, but the A! orp” agers urn all they get. the mar- dear “MONEY CONTINUES CHEAP,” ket reports say; and American heart. yet it seems to every A wax Ovr West started a paper, cal- ling it the Free Press, and inside of six weeks he had a chattel mortgage on the press. CuicaGo erkeLes ** School Book trouble switche: are agitated over So are Chicago no donbt; and in circles, possibly. Ir 1s Quite a coincidence that the fall is the season when heavenly meteors and infer- nal meters are getting in their best exhibi- tions. Lover's Baktxe Powper is on the mar- ket. Some of it given to the boys might make them come up a little more promptly, when the girls are waiting. A New TERKOR has been given to death, for great men, by the monumental failures perpetrated to their memory. We begin to be afraid to die, ourselves. THE NEWSPAPER HEADING, “Railway In- telligenct,” is sometimes misleading. When it chronicles the inability of the trunk-Jine anagers to observe their pooling arrange- ments, for instance. Miss Burt, a young woman in Mlinois who was ‘raised from her death-bed by prayer,” has eloped with the pastor. This can hardly be deemed a fair test of the prayer-cure. Evidently the young woman had other than religious inducements to rise comicbooks.com