Judge — December 5, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NABL 1, Winter Cometh RHYMES Beh The days are colder The raw nor owi asters blowing, e beauty of the Indian summer's fled, fled, fled, The tramps are disapy The time for snow is nearin, The little boy is fixing up hic sled, sted, sled! Some morning we'll over nw three feet de The husband then will b » or over— ve ad And really won't be able To go down to the Until his little wife bs abi pvelled off, off, off.” The Licery Man will have to Stand it, ‘The lover then, no doubt, Will take his sweetheart out her round the suburb in a sleigh, sle ale Behind a prancing span, Let by a livery man Who'll likely have to whistle for his pay, pay, pay. And dri The Organ Grinder, The swarthy son of sunny Italy Has left the thorougfares, And we regret it, for he played quite prettily ¢ “to lets” Were not exposed to vi Played “Johnny Mor, And also “1 and ** Sweet Violets,” And never deemed his labor only loss As patiently he played, 1 the per And farther onward strayed. But simply tho ighty ewell till spring—then come with * The Letter in the Candle” We loved thy music well be "Twas every bit by Handle. Peek-a-Boo,” use we knew [Boston Courier. oY SUCH IS LIFE. The eyes may sparkle, the lips may smile, And misery merriment feign, The to jest and all the while ‘The heart feel a bitter pain And so it is with the maid to-ni The maiden fair and you Her eyes are bright and her Is Ani the jest is on her ton But oh, the maiden’s heart makes moan, And her brain is in a whirl, For her beau to the skating rink has gone To-night with another girl, [Boston Courier oY WAR ghter light, Facts about dank checks are stub born things.—[New Orleans Picayune. ‘Two stupid Michigan hunters shot a woman mistaking her for a bear. A woman should never be mistaken for anything but a dear.—[ Louisville Courier-Journal. Flattery used to be called ‘soft soap,” now it iscalled ‘taff The style was changed because the lye was so plainly visi- ble in the former.—[Merchant Traveler. It is generally believed that the Sorosis Club had about thirteen surviving members, but we read that 130 assembled at the THE JUDGE. breakfast given to Mary Anderson. No man knows how many friends he has until | he sets out a free lutich.—[ Phila. Cull. While Keene was playing in Little Rock, just as he called for a horse, man from \ n county said to his | companion: Ab, an’? les? “Wait a minit, he clown has fur a hoes, on the shows’s goin’ to begin.”—[ Ar "Traveler. } Canon | ten society, 3 , Some in Bos- in nearly oceurs, ‘I y r ined by the grati- tion Bostonians derive from his mat) of quoting that old about ‘livin movin’, and havin’ our bean.” [Binghampton Republican, An Italian astronomer declares that the planet Mars is peopled by intelligent bein who are trying to attract attention from dwellers on this planet. Their efforts to attract the attention of people on this globe have perhaps chiefly consisted in holdin free trade conventions, he their lar able failure, Come to think about it, ho ever, that plan would disprove the Italian’s assertion that they are ‘ intelligent beings.” [Norristown Herald. “There are incidents,” said a teacher in a North Side school, ‘¢ that will destroy dignity of any occasion. ‘The other day one of our lady teachers was drilling some of her younger pupils in forming sentenc She gave the word trumpet. Each member of the class was to form sentence in’ which this word occurred, As a starter she asked anun y bright little fellow if he could form ntence with the word trumpet in it. Ile was eagerly confident in the belief that he could, and the teacher asked him to proceed. This was his sentence: ‘I will trump it with aspade, This, of course, put the school-room in a roar, and the teacher went with the tide.”—[Inter-Ocean. COMING DOWN TO CHRISTIA, AMES Did you ever listen to a young couple up to that point of affectionate in- timacy at which they call one another by | their Christian name “Tt has been a lovely Miss Jackson?” Mr. Wilkins,” known you a long party, hasn't it, time, Miss Jackson.” “And I've known you quite a while.” “T've often heard” my” sister speak you,” “And my brother is always talking about | you.” “Is he? [hear so much about you | I feel quite at home with you. “Tt’sa lovely night, isn’t it, Mr. Wilkins?” i Beautiful. I think Edith’s such a pret- ty name.” Do you? Edith.” “What did you say?” “Oh, nothing; I was only repeating the name.” “T don’t like all: men’s some. I like Philipp, and Ferdi “ What do you think of Georg “That's your George! “T beg your “Oh, nothing; the name.” ** What a lovely night it is, isn’t it, Edith?” “Oh, there! George Wilkins, what did of that I don’t like it.” I like and and—” I was merely repeating Miss hard IIL, | the | | Green Coleman, | ber it will | reb time 13 you ' let me slip on that cobb ‘Pou my word, I didu’t do it, Miss ‘Well, we are home, or I am, Mr. am very sorry.’” Tam so much obliged for I've had such a lovely time.” 1 so have I.” Good night, ) ood night, ) [San Francisco Chroni ‘TED A DIVORCE. Marse Willian an elderly color entered the Ch in a certain town in Good morning, vidual, as ottice si : Good morning, Ido for you clerk. “1 jes’ drapped in, Marse William, to ax yer wot ver ax fer er deforeement? ” A what, Unele Green?” Erdeforcement, Marse William—one er dem papers wid a big yeller_ plaster on ter it, same like Josh ‘Bilbro got when der des »nhitched him an’ his old ooman court.” “Oh! vou mean a divorce.” “Yas, dat’s what 1 want.” “Well, you'll have to file your bill of complaint, and when court meets in Decem- ome up for hearing, and if your grounds for divorce are good and supported by evidence, the court, Dhave no doubt, will grant your prayer.” “ Mar , i back long Central Mis Uncle Green, this mornin What can responded the done ‘turn dat file dat rheumatiz com- sted me sence I bin rubbin’ And *bout dem grouns, ‘se knowed me ‘long in sence ) freedom o come, and Marse Willis 1 *fore ¢ wel nele Green, the best thing for do istoemploy a lawyer. He'll tell you | what to do.” “He will.” “Well, Marse William, mitey busy—but jes tell. me, goin’ ter cos’ me * Let me see; one of these will take the ease for 810, and the cost will amount to another 810. the outside, is about all it will cc Twenty-five dollars, Marse William! “ore God, dat’s pow’ful heap er money to spending on a ooman I ain’t seed in mor’n twenty year.” “What do you want with a divorce from your wife w hom you haven't seen for more than twenty years?” **T jes’ want it fer ter pacify der “ooman got fer er wife now, You sec » [wus married ter on ole massa’s pl ntation in slave times, she run’d off time rman’s raid, and den IT tuk up wid dis ‘oman T got now, and she’s feered my fus’ wife might come back and level on me her p ty.” “Oh! Uncle Green, it’s barred by the I sees you what are ¢ ung lawyers as that’s all settled— s statute of limitations Just go homie and tell your wife not to bother herself—that’s all right.”” “Won't yer gib me er writin’ clusion? 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