Judge — December 5, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BULTTON—WHO Big wettons COMING INT Ger ot GON AND ANCIENT SUTELDS. Tales Out of School. been very well Bertie—** E heard Mr. Lovejoy that he had it whooped up to style at home, night before last.” tell cessary to Touch Royalty. ger (with a pompous air) —** I would send a telegraph to the Queen.” graph Clerk—** You will find blanks on your left.” se won't do. Do you » Queen on such is from an Ir it up in. styl t you any Royal Trish Linen paper And soine green ink, please.” Worn Out by the Blast. hot up yet tight to have had yesterd too.” Yon know the line, don’t you—* Horn of the Hanter is Heard on the Ifill? Mra, Rasp—* Oh, yes; and I guess | » often yesterday THE JUDGE. Ss GOT THE BUTTON T YOUR PLAQt PLATES, CHINESE OFF THE BENCH Mey « be ‘Territories for unlawfully cuttin ment timber, but no one d booters in New York who in the govern: NTINUE to arrested turbs those free wlessly cut tim. ber for newspapers and patent-entrail syndi- e AUTUMN STYLES are called by a paper, * This yle is fashionable all the year around at ertain New Y for pinning goes clear te a study in stripes.” rk State resorts distinguished e buildin’s where the the ruff.” “these under- Come To THINK oF 17, how absurd is the newspaper title, “ The Daily Sun.” sun be unything else than daily? all, now, would call his the Chicago Nightly Sun, it would be something unique and attractive and have a suggestion of chivalry and sleepless enterprise about it, besides, Iv is straNxce that Dr, Wythe, the in- ventor of the automatic train-reco: which registers all the stops and variations of speed vin at any point on its run, has not pted it to haman beings. Husbands out wives ont shopping, errand boys, policemen—no end of its utility. giving away ” WHY SHE LA UGHED. Oh, the pretty little maiden, Bri Tn the ing over, er, rous glee. What now, think you, did she see? Just adudet Dear, how crude; Very rudet But the maiden couldn't help it, 0 she coulda’t, And she w When sh With aw it coming near ft and silly leer: cried, ~ all wide, “Bless my hat! What is thaty” Then with many, many giggles, Like one daft Loud she laughed. Till the dude was loath to st And quite ang Down the sped away jane and main . merry maiden led and she shook, grass contagion 1 ihe joyou “and Jaughed, until the drops Jew within them hid, Rolled quite o'er their scalloped lid Just because this maiden crude Laughed when first she saw a Dear, how rude! Out of His Jurisdiction. Mistress—Mary, I wish you would tell the cook when you godown that I do not approve of her having eo much company staying late and making a nois Many—* Well, mum it'll do no good. Mary is going to leave to-day. She's de- cided to get married.” Mistress (to her husband, the eminent Justice C.)—" Do you hear that, Alexan- der? Why don’t you try to prevent her de- serting in this shameful manner?” JUSTICE My dear, this case is out of my jurisdiction, I have no power to over-rule the decision of the court below, this time.” Scientific Notes. A patent saddle just been placed upon the market by Mr. Haslam of Dublin. The patent about it consists in its being so un- comfortable that it renders it pleasant to be thrown and kicked by the hors ‘Two gentlemen in Oregon have invented anew kind of bed for drummers. It is nected with a clock which works a lever possessing twenty-horse power. The lever sso arranged that by setting the alarm for aeertain hour the drammer shall at that hour be thrown out of bed against the wall with sufficient force to wake him, Mr. A. S. Keating, of Corry, Pennsyl- nia has been misdizecting his energies 1 money drawer. ‘That style of has reached an all too-lnxuri- ant perfection already. G. comicbooks.com