Judge — November 21, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A ROUGH RETORT. LLow—" Why do biy-headed “Oh, I suppose to prevent people from taking them for small-headed men with big hats.” men generally wear little hats?” Briefs Submitted. 4 king dog never bites; but our faith the proverb varies directly as the trength of the chain, **T can’t get that book through me, the dall pupil. “Then it is you'll never get through the book! the teacher. One hundred journeymen tailors are on a strike in Kansas. Not a very formidable affair; eleven and one-ninth strong. Hardly enongh to say boo to a goose. aid fe to say ” replied ‘The Georgia legislature comes forward | ‘> with a bill to tax old bachelors; and every one who can’t raise the required $2.50 will have no alternative but marriage. Jumbo’s dermal covering, is hailed as a great acquisition at Tuflt’s College. It is the biggest ‘skin ” that ever entered that institution, though by no means the only one, Even impecuniosity has its advantages. A man with only one pair of unmention- | a-car only to find that | ables never boarde he’s left his pocket-book pants. The ' in his other ammany men complain that they have no showin the Navy Yard under the present administration, — No; there is no chance for a side-show in the Navy Yard, now. Allthe performers must be in the ring. Not To Be Wondered At. Howard—‘‘I was much interested in the billiard playing of your friend, the other evening.” Strong—* Yes, he is a good player.” Howard—* He makes the most wonder- | ful masse shots I ever saw, Strong—‘‘ He ought to; master of massage.” Robinson, he’s a perfect Stuffing the Partridge. | Ife was a young sportsman from the city, spending his vacation in the mountains. | During one of his matutinal sallies among | the feathered tribe in search of a bres it, he happened to wing a plump partridge. Following in the wake of the fluttering bird | through the brush, he suddenly came upon a clearing, aud there met the most charm- | ing éreature he had ever Ile became | rooted to the spot by the beauty of the vision, and gazed in admiration at the grace- sylph-like form, the sparkling” blue , the flowing wealth of golden hair, the ‘ly chiselled nose, the langing mouth, the cherry lips, and the tiny feet and neatly- turned ankles, which the short dress failed to hide from his love-inflamed eyes. When he recover from his tr saw that the charmer had the woan in her bosom. Ife was about to for his seeming cruelty to Mr. him with he rologize itated a moment at the prospect of thus losing so tempting a breakfast, but as | he took another survey of her charms he sacrificed appetite to love. “But,” said he, “ the bird hurt to live.” “Oh, never mind that; I don’t want to keep it alive.” * Well,” continued he, charmed by her | tender feeling, ‘‘at least let me have it sent to the city to be stuffed.” “Thank you y much, but mother stuffs partridges eplendidly! !’—and as she spoke she eld the bird horizontally in one hand, while with the other she calinly wrung its neck. Had he not felt himself entirely outwitted i by the artful little nymph, he would have roared out laughing. But checking his feelings, he lifted his “hat and stalked off in the direction of his ranche. is too badly J. 4, O'CONNELL. bird | Miscarriage of a Compliment. autopsy of Bulgari: rved, this paper that mean, Docto lddust, * Well. why to preserve th She hewspu blundered, the autonomy of Bulgaria “Why, sure enough, here it is. How stupid.” “Yes, indeed. _ The stupid To Read Your Title Clear. Prexitent:- What are the conditions of admission tochureh membership?” Various. Ina niceting house in the back dis- triets, a profession of religion and ly walk 1 brown-ste on of wea prompt } itof pew-re In som a conversion of heart is necessary in others, conversion of funds. Spirituality is i realty, or per: others. ‘As for creed: Anywhere, you can subscribe to what is offered you and believe privately anything or nothing that you prefer. property, at Briefs Submitted. Woman’s one notable invention—perpetu- al emotion. ‘The paragrapher has allowed the father- in-law to esc When tl wn Werther gets tired of life he goes and shoots his girl. Ad tothe Hamlets: Learn the ills you have, and bull the good, to bear Prohibition, they say, works so smoothly in Kansas now that there is only a wink be- tween the cup and the lip. | The Rev. Buckwasher wise pusson doan al > top, an’ likewise he doan ount onto hit: de cream raise to de surtis an’ likewise de scum. | Dirty Alarmist (to faithful fric this thing don’t get better, I'll something. What do you say of climate?” “Well, I shirts first.” serves that de nd)—“ Hi ave to do to a chan, dunno; better try a change of According to the Medical American farmer ** wears out, wife and a half in a lifetime arming implements, we believe, The World's compliment n wagant, but it is well d re industrious lot than the An mer never tugged at the strin; life. | In acurrent batch of “ Hints for House- | keepers” we read that the ‘snecessful cook is she who puts her whole mind into her dishes. This is a terrible revelation! A very foul suspicion tells us that we lishes of some eminent- We thought it at the | time nothing w than a soupcon of hair- | pin flavored with a pinch of ringlet. World, an average, nd other in propor- the ve erican, fur- beans of real comicbooks.com