Judge, 1885-11-21 · page 5 of 16
Judge — November 21, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of late-19th-century American humor: **"Jack Sprat and His Wife"** mocks a couple whose metabolic incompatibility—one cannot digest fats, the other cannot digest proteins—perfectly complements their household division of labor, with the wife efficiently consuming leftover food by licking dishes. **"In the Hospital"** is a joke setup about a young accident victim so severely injured he's barely recognizable, played for dark comedic effect. **"In Demand"** features brief dialogue about a slow country girl named Miss Brewster, suggesting rural women were viewed as unsophisticated and undesirable romantic prospects. **The main cartoon**, titled "A New Sphere for the Salvation Army," satirizes the Salvation Army (a real charitable organization) by depicting them advertising commercial products on street banners while preaching salvation—mocking what Judge saw as hypocritical commercialism masquerading as religious charity. The remaining text contains various brief humorous anecdotes about women, advertising, and oddities, reflecting the magazine's miscellaneous satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
\ Jack Sprat and His Wife. | In The Hospital. In Demand. hOSTON VERSION — — | i Moward—* Avfully slow girl, th | John Sprattle found it utterly impossible | They were walking through the hospital | Brewster; but deuced! ‘ to consume and his wi anything adipose nature and came ud before the cot of a) Baker-—* Why, she experienced an equal difficulty young man who had lost one eye, six teeth, | take her to the thea tre? in ma ing food of nitrogenous cor had half his scalp torn off, both legs broken | Howard—* Naw, tution. ‘They thus presented adieteticcom | and three ribs fractured, Baker— , do. She’s from the bination adivision of family labors and ‘* Poor fellow, I suppose you were run | countr tintt enabled them as well | over by a freight train?” said’a sympathetic r of unconsumed provisions old lady, asy and) prompt polishi y the use of the vibratory lingual muscle in the novel fane- tion of removing ent particles of food il from t thus obvi- replied the sufferer. ‘1 | about Miss Brewster?” ati sreeable oper- | wasn’t in any of those thi was in a| Howard—“ Hasn't an open date all win- ation of dish-washing. cane rush at Yule College. ter.” believes in kissing her itory de to prevent wa as to escort g Howard—**‘! sweet crea Phanks, dear boy; I wonder ure has seen **‘ I’m going to-morrow night. what lips! ” Baker (two hours later—‘* Well, how sattacked by a px ed a spinster of uncertain | ‘Or fell into a macerator?” queried nther!” suge | if t \ NEW SPHERE FOR THE SALVATION ARMY. Lat them propel a fre of the advertising banners so common on our streets, and thus, while spreading tidings of salvation to suffering Jumanity, earn an honest living. = — a Mind Against Matter. | #€ les nry Siater, of Morristown, N. J, — Jhas a pig with a human arm and is the reason, my dear?” I asked | place of the left fore . why women are so crazy to get la dozen hogs with bodie nd all members and faces so much like a human being that vt tell the difference till you come to te or do business with them, — Ocea- “AN Towa woman has named her twin ghters Gasoline and Kerosene.” When | irk comes in contact | « W with t the result will be kind of a Becans bin ” Poh! we know me other | my wife the sparks can’t | married? . . down Kerosene. Humph, Master Flatterer,” she replied, n sene- / Tam afraid that you will On the head and on th is iin , a jonrnalist’s most solemn oath. sionally one is such a good imitation that ue TENDENC : Tow Ay es He a sal in nia ane ih yon peelh ite you never suspect that he belo to the specialization is illustrated inthe building of | “In the Erening Po: replied. Sue Serofe anec . fi Sus Scrofa species until you ask his wife. a crematory at Hunter’s point by the re- “Oh, my secret will be safer in that pa- fa specie you as! fat-rendering hells, , Per than when locked up in my own bi lik that. tthe} But you do not tell me the is like that of the | testily. Do women h nd sweatmeats of marr ng inmates enone andi farmers: 2 |he is not stuck up and is one of wu By. for being “one of them” we believe he ‘ didn’t play for the position, and so. there is « Listen, then, Before marriage girlshave no merit in it; and Iv Was BEEN SArD AS being to the credit jof Ex-Napoleon Ward that he wins , [opinions from Sing King in “ Hamlet.” Tue esteemep St. Pact Herald calls Siftings Knox, and * Carl Pretzel” Harris who are hunting Y. M. ©, A.’s—and poke for being stuck up— alibi ir this winter, “a pair of [cope With their own sex, with mothers or what has he to be proud of, anyway? A ! aunts, After marriage they are matehed ; ; Merr It is to be hoped that either | 4, man needn't swell his head very much over | of them may discover more of this country | fiual. You knoe how it is our olf, being the first thief of his generation and than the original Americus did. winutast wasupuns, | accomplishing a successful trip to Sing Sing. comicbooks.com