Judge — November 7, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YE MOSSIE CHESTNUTS, it Ye jester sports ri hi my he Besyde ye mos He styles w Wherein ye w mt eth not, he ina A jest makes Besyde ye mossie chestnut tree. \| Besyde ye mossie chestnut tree, | Where all ye worn Ye jester fs a cruel Whereon ye law s Ways like ye elvre Who harps him m je chestnuts be, Id set a bann, jer he hy n ly on yep O mote we from this mann be free, Ye jester by ye ehestnutt tree | [Tid Bits OYE oY A COMMON CHARACTER He never did any He's a man wh vodl work in his life, from danger would shrink, ehildr dered his earni nt, selfish, uncult Yet people by whe Remark with If he'd 0 lected hi and wife in drink Lis be, 1 he “WI ly let liquor alone! known, igh taman he [Boston Courier And now Chicago claims that pork is a rain food, being a product of thousands of tern pens.—[ Lowell Citizen. A fashion editor makes the startli nouncement that ‘low-neck dresses will dropped at the opera this season [Rome (Ga.) Bulletin. Ifowe, the writer of ‘A Country says he never attended school after he was seven years of age. Itis unne for Mr. Howe to Ue write gether to well fe e graduate, [G “Contact with — Western | says the Boston Advertiser, | Mr. ‘Town,” civilizatic “has had tl effect of giving a nd rapid deve ment to the social and political life Japan.” Yes, the Japanese will be ing Chinamen before lo [Milwaukee Sentinel. understand what you p- of shoot- Judge—* Do you are to swear to?” Witness—‘* Yes, I'm to swar to tell de traf. Ju will happen if you do. not. tell + T’speets our side 7M win | {Cincinnati Enquirer. Jndge A. W. Tourgee, having. fail get a Senatorial nomination, has invented a buckle. Albion must. be strappet.— [Buf falo New Very likely Judge Tourg strapped; but it took the whole boundless Continent to do it.—[Washington Hatchet. “T see Mo: Wendelbaum has fail “Taf he?” « Y. his liabilities are 000 and his assets only $60,000," «¢ Vell, Moses was farry foolish.” * he should | not have gone so deeply into debt.” Oh, dot part ish all r || to have so much Sam Ward was well-known Senator at a dinner at Washir || ton, This Senator was very bald, and the | ight shining on the breadth of scalp at- tracted Ward’s attention. —‘*Can you tell | me,” he asked his neighbor, “why the enator’s head is like Alaska?” “ [’msure I don't know.” ‘+ Because it’s a great white t, but he was a tam fool would be | - | with the delights of the seated opposite al | JUDGE. he neighbor nd he hailed the Se THE | bear p ; tickled, immen ator across the Say, Senator, Ward has just got very smart thing ubout vou.” "* What y why your head is Because it’s a great place for white [San Fra | “Ah! Mr. Deidtrich, got a baby at your | hous } oy “Gir sco Chronicle. , siree; not this time.” “T's a boy, then?” “Oh, somebody's been telling you.” [Bloomington Ey A queen bee lays from 2,000 to in ninety four hours. It is not nec ask “How doth the little busy bee doth well, and should be a shining e to the lazy hen that can only be induc | lay one egg in twenty-four hours, and then only when eggs are cheap [New Orleans Picayune, “You say that the have their noses bore ‘Timbuctoo and) wear jewels in women of too woman must be like So travellers “Then a Timbu the Puritan yacht. “How do you make that out?” “ her scenter bored.” Boston Courier. all the rage in the York State. Lovers long been acquainted » festive occasions. In fact, the silence that proceeds constantl. for hours from the front parlor on Sunday evenings is only equalled by the supreme skill with which the light is turned down to the vanishing point without passing it. [Somerville Journal. (meeting candid You haven't been Glad to see you at s find room for you.” very much; but in this hot ther theatres are not) much in my line. Some cousins of mine, however, are coming up next week, and if you could’ spare a box I should be obliged. “These provincials are just.as much pleased with a bad show as a —[Paris American Register. Blifkins felt fa so when he met his street talking with gave this salutation: did you get out? mith, | of cou ha! hat ha * Well, they let mi “ Mum Sc al districts of New merville have ru in trical Manager | friend) —** Ah, how do? to see my new pl. Tecan good o ris pus the neighbor other morning Smith on the the new minister, he Say, Smith, whe en jet out from where: ‘The house of correction, !? chirruped Blifkins. out j as soon as | finished whitewashing your cell,” growled Smith, and Blifkins went around the cor- ner.—[Boston Post. A widow, whose age might have been 40, went into business on Grand River avenue a | few weeks ago and the first move to get sign ainted, ‘The services | painter were secured, and when he finishe his work he put on his ‘imprint ” by plac- ing his initials ** W. A. IL,” down on the left hand corner of the sign. When the widow came to criticise the work, she queried: me What does ‘W. A. II.’ stand for?” “Why, ‘Wanted A Husband,’ ” replied the painter. “Oh, yes—I see,” she mused. “It was y thonghtful in you, and here is a dollar ’—[ Detroit Free Pr of a ve ext | very well in this place. THOSE DREADFUL GAMBLERS. Wife (handing husband me ver) — “T see that several gambling dens were raided upon last evening and : ntity of mbling paraphernalia seized.” Husband—" Tam glad The police should wipe ont those places at once. ‘The gamblers are a hard sct—ha! I'm in Inc nd 1 come out sterday’s transac. My dear you shall ‘Those stocks have g three thousand ahe tions. Good sp have that dress. Joy in the houschold. Ne Uy 1 by that. [Boston Courier. CONTIN( Wi giving SNCIES, cher ina was A tes t Virginia freedman’s school out some original ex- amples to the class in mathematics, and among them was this: * Ifa colored man receives one dollar for one day’s work, how many dollars will he rece for six days’ work ? One of the boys seemed very stupid over it, und the teacher finally said: , how many are six tim , does he’ we queried the boy. rbecue might "—[Indiar come Herald. oa on Satur- ETTING MIXED. “ Brudder Slebinson,” said Parson Grubbs, “I doan want yer ter take sackre- ment in my church no mo’.” «Why so, sah “Wall, de folks doan li ke yer style.” “T doan un’erstan’ ye Wy I'll tell yer: Tuther day yer come ter de ‘munion table yer wuz starbed ter def. when er acted like Yer grabbed de bread an’ when da handed yer de wine yer drunk it all.” “ Tdid, De bruder said: ‘Drink ye slid “Dat wan't no way ter do.” “Wall, den, yer ken connt doan unverstan’ dese lo’ it’, and I tilted her up an’ let her me out. I heah folks whut tells ter do er thing an’ den makes er mouf Uf yer does it. Yas, jes’ mark my name offen dem books o'yourn, — ’Ligun’ is git- tin’ so mixed uper pusson kain’ un’erstan’ it."—[Arkansaw ‘Traveler, ECCENTRICITY IN LUNCH. Over at Kasota Junction the other day I found a living curiosity. Ife was a man of abont medium height, perhaps. forty-five years of age, of a quiet disposition, and not noticeable or peculiar in. his manner. Ie runs the railroad eating house at that point, and the one odd cl cteristic which he has makes him well known all through three or four states. I could not illustrate his ec- centricity any better than by relating a cir- cumstance that occurred to me at the June- tion last week. I had just eaten breakfast there and paid for it. ‘I stepped up to the cigar case and asked this man if he hada “rattling good cigar.” Without knowing it I struck the very point upon which this man seems to be acrank, if you will allow me that expression, thongh it doesn’t fit He looked at me in comicbooks.com