Judge — October 17, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. ON THE ROAD. Cushy suid when he bad finished | +You see, 1 have a letter from sister of mine is about to have a t her some little gift—gener- suggested that I should forward her | swear other than that which is used strictly ing cle answercd, ‘* but, my dear but drummers aswell, 1 the eubject of ludua’ dress | More so than men of any jon under the sun.” “That's the difficulty, | know absolutely nothing of the matter; but do, like a good fellow, suggest sume way out of this seray “Tr'sa bad fix, edge if properly pe least a moderat man, we are g and for that rv we knowl- sist us to at ak perhaps our indivic ak, may be able to the ¢ r of red his throat and then | u knew ge,’ old man, In- Bi own made a st. said: 1 happen te that is, [ was infor —er—I meant to say, in fi a married acquaintan mine toll me im confidence that ladies wear sometimes— well, stockings, you know,” As it happened, we all three raised our eyes from the carpet simultane not surpr my friends were violently as L knew myself to : nent of si- n Cushy, mach embarrassed, said “But, Joshua, [couldn't possibly go to a dry-goods store and asked to be shown some—er—what did you call em “+ Stocking: mere coyly. osh mur- at’s it—stock ings. 1 couldn't possibly, you know. Can't you sug: gest something, Lang?” I had thought of some- thing, hut where I had heard | with drink, a big one, mind, and then to; the stockings. I think if we other we muy be able to do th ‘It's age,” Brown and Cusby both assented. filed up to one of Chicago's largest bars of Dutch courage and ‘then, with arms pluchily down the street three abr soon cume to a big re- tail dry yds store and hat ly ether walked in, “De at the eke, 2 T wh Haven't the dimmest idea I remember secing a picture of some, once,” if I'm not much mistaken, th hanging up over t Hanging tightly t autions st ether visit some store and buy er and stand firmly by Thereupon we nd took an immense di linked firmly, marched ered, Gus said sofuly, striped and colored thing counter are what we are looking for.” ide our way over to the counter nd faced a lady clerk who was in charge, and, ake the matte she was both young ‘| pretty This ix awful,” poor Gus groaned, “It would. be bad en to talk this business to a man, but a woman—Great Scott! this is tortu The girl looked into our embarra ‘and tor wo 1 faces for s urpri e What gentlemen? ‘T want to buy some of thosc—er—thore things,” Gus answered, indicating. “Ladies hose? What hind will you have, balbrig- gan, lisle, raw. silk, silk or euk-plated? Will you have plain goods, striped or col them cm. a second with and then ask- 11 show you, ** Excuse ment, a lated. despairing We put onr heads” to- gether in consultation while the girl smiled at our em- burrassment and whispered with her running mate. “don’t really know what is fishionable, “miss,” Gus said at my suggestion, * I'm not posted and would be glad of your advice. My own taste would be for something of it, Heaven only know Bustles,” I gasped faintly, and then, with a struggl “Of cour vs, I don't know what th semble bird know, bird c ting room.” By violent fanning my friends brought me out of the dead faint followed my effort. hat won't do at all, Lang,” Gus decided when we had all become somewhat compo ’m no end of obliged to you, old man, It was very kind of you, very, I shall never forget it, but it wont do.” Another long panse and then this from Augustus: T remem- ber reading—I don’t know where, unless in the Bible—that women sometimes wear—I won't he positive, you know, that women— that is, ladies, female women in fact, sometimes used—er—er—cor- J I won't swear to it, boys,” he added has for its only a dim {snpression ot something I read when a ‘ 1s, how ean you suggest euch a thing,” Brown u really shock me. I'd like to see you, the an on the road, go into @ storeand ask a young woman corsets, you know,” right, Josh, I couldn't do it f I put in, inas brave a voice us Tcould eum- | mon, what we'll do, The existence of the last named articles, I think, more doubtful than the—the—well the things Josh named. Now‘ I propose we all three go and take a | exactly, though I imagine they re- ve heard, on the—that is, in dwelling houses are usually hung near the sit- | whi Horrible here, ¥ fellow | I will show you the goods.” with a yellow ground and red stripes—— “Oh, but that wouldn't do at all sir, For ordinary Black silk is very fashionable. ng which she opened up two or three boxes and handing out a pair or two, she continued: ‘* Feel the goods sir. ty is the finest in the market.” ins started back as if some one had offered hima live rattle snake, “Oh, yes, mi: feeling the—th high they come? “Oh, about six inches above the kace, sir. lengths.” “Oh, Lord Gus exclaimed in that. I wouldn’t have aske I meant what is the price. Poor Gus! His embarassment was pitiful to behold, and I think he would have dropped to the floor if Josh and I had not supported him on either side pluckil * Why, your question was perfectly proper,” the girl said, emerg- ing from behind her handkercheif a very red and dimpled face. “The price is $4.49. How many would you like, sir?” “Well, [hardly know, but I guess five—er—stockings would be about right. Don’t you think so, boys?” We assented, but the young lady with a titter and a slight blush, asked: “Do you know the lady for whom these goods are intended?” wear, black goods are the thin I can see that without , the quality is good, I guess they will do. May I ask how icles. They are regular at horror, “I didn’t mean that question, miss, for any money. comicbooks.com