Judge — October 17, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LITTLE JOHNNY. BY The “greatest travelling show on Had just come in to G— Which Johnny . the Deacon's son, Was hankerin’ to see. At last And, trembli Me bre: And be crewed his courage up sin his shoes, hed the subject to bis pa Jhe'd not refuse. His fa And covered up his And Joli And her heaved an awful y heard him say gray hairs" sorrow,” and “disgrace.” And that “it broke his beart to bear ny boy who goes ¢ only loafers congregate bad, immoral shows,” Poor little J his bead, Appar: That he b Against his noble t hun anne, ohuny ly in And ot his books— Arithmetic and spellin’ But though he tried to“ figger up His little heart was swellin’ so be went And while he sat and worked away, Like an industrious | rin’ lad ‘o circumvent He was not like those boys who dic Bec The | Unusually long © they can’t do wrol At last bis Pa rose np and + Emust be Olicial meeting Ist Poor little Jobn was very tired, A pain was in bis head; He kissed his dear mama good night Ani started off for bed The fun that night was at its hei The clown had just come in, When underneath the canvas tent Rolled little Jounny ht, arth" THE JUDGE. Jed up, looked slyly "round, | ‘To find an empty plac al with horrificd surprise his father’s face. Th The hi M. de Freshemilque on American Coolheadednesss. I disguise not that we are residing in an age whereof the science is indeed making | vast jumps, and discovering into the quite hottoms of the universe! “This prosperous fact coaxes me to hope that may, by a strict economy and industry hunt up the eanse of the so disting coolheadedness of the American mankind— avirtue (between other things) prevents that he shall never grow to be mad at th exile of Italy which plays the grind under the window already during that he is try- ing on the morning nap; neither that he will tell some rough words to his wife when he, in grand hurry to pursue Mr. Thomp: son’s cat throughout the backyard ina dark night in his bed shirt, strike with his feet cross the wash-tub (which his females for- got themselves to push it into the cellar), in tumbling of which he approaches very his face to the clothesline (which the few Americans have habit to clevate almost near three feet above ground) whereunto his nose suffers the bark took off rather very much indeed! M. Mackhowley inclines himself to prop the theory that the race of Vellowcitizens inherit the majority of their coolheadedne: from their Indian’ parents (see there, the sang froid of their Herb Doctor, the ing Bull, their Minnebucea, their more. their Noblo I doth Jof which Amer ature. enri modified by the redoubtable pie crusts of which “the seed was bronght over by the | Pilgrim Fathe: Paritanic plug the upper stor but vet of their nf re-en- band struck up a stirring s pranced a n sat hane nocents abroad 5 An instant everything swam ‘round, And then he heard his pa “Job here's a dollar If youl never tell your ma!" 1 pawed pt wee-of-uind whieh pre- Fellowcitizens, when vents that one of th he smashes, every other two days in a wee ina collision of railroad, shall, when he emerges the head from the wreck, but merely remark (after that he has first spit out the mouth) * where devil's my hat Sir Rev, Newton, the illustrious Anglais- man of New York (he that uncovered the of ¢ ng which slides my nory) calls a headcdness * the whole ican Df nd in- ves to the Fellowcitizens’ out (spill) their souls in memory attitude of the Am forms that it all o habit to prayer, Other time. A journalist of the news papers informs thatit owes to. the tender specches of the stump of the Hon Wit de ‘Tamlage, and to contemplate with sublime- ness the fall of the Yosemite: But here in that place, 1 shall now throw pour down the subject and lay beside my pen, tilla little more opportunity offers me the valuable addition of my friend the most cherished, Col. Wagonhorse, who as he confide to me **a whole te dog under the wagon.” m himself and a What Does He Expect? G uld never ceases to complain be- cause the passengers on the elevated roads erate from the windows; but if they a aniform five-cent rate from the ot windows they well pool their expectations with th pectations of reform, and sell out to the highest bidk comicbooks.com " if