Judge — September 19, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ings; he didn’t know that they meant yes. He informed Jacobina that he wanted her to say just what she was going to do about | it. He would have an answer—he would by Jehosophat! “Jucobina would have preferred to have ero fall upon one knee and propose to her in elegant language. Then she would | have sighed and the long eyelashes would have drooped over the melting orbs, She would have bent gently forward and Cicero would have clasped her to the breast of his coat and held her there in a long, lingering, ecstatic embrace. And a blissful silence would have ensued. Jucobina endeavored to perform her part in the proper w But Cicero a blockhead. Ie had never studied the highfalut He drew himself up proudly and pulled down his vest. Said he: “Tain’t agoin’ to hev no foolin’. If you'll hev me, say 80, and if you won’t hey me, say so.” “Tam thine,” murmured Jacobina softly. And then they fell into each other's arms with a terrific crash. Come away, reader, come away. . * ee Time—10:30 p, M. Scene—a_ parlor. Characters discovered—Cicero Gosling and Susannah Hopplecopper. They are seated on a sofa, ** Susannah,” said Cicero, a3 he heaved a sigh. “I loveyou. [have loved you ever since you and I were little boys and went to school together down the shady lane which led to the little brown sch under the hill. Will you be mine ‘Then there was a dull thud. And Cicero was a gone Gosling. Jacobina was hid in acloset and she heard all, | Propose to another when you're en- | gaged to me!’ she screamed. ‘* Death to traitors! E pluribus unum! Sie semper ty- rannis! Erin go braugh, and so forth! Villain, you die! ” And Cicero died. Alas! Alas! A Ci A CAN OF TOMATOES from France was re- cently analyzed and found to contain ground | carrots, pumpkins, beets and aniline dye. It | was evidently put up of the refuse of a fac- tory where ‘pure French wines ” are made. “A French family will live on what one American throws away.” A POOR OUTLOCK. Mra. O'Toore— ting a’ong?” "Och, ite mivrable he is, An’ how is Mr. Mulchay get- | Conaumption's a con- sumin’ him entoirely. Ite Chat thin he's getting that whin he diex divil a body theré'lt be to wake, 0: all, at | all,” THE JUDGE. OFF THE BENCH «Tie Business Situ atios”— Broadway, Peorte or Tyre Stpox—W: makers, AND ANGLING 18 4 fine art and the most finn ished of all f. How To MAKE A SLIVPER-CASE.— catch your boy and then— A Goop MANY of the regattas this season have been like a pretty wild rows. Tue PHILavetputaCall also keeps a cat. It emits “ mid-day mewsing noon, ” every after: Tueopore Frew Coats, seems. HUYSEN married M He didn’t win his entire suit, it 88. A Cnicago k. c. “The Nation holds its breath.” Posted. says, Our e. ¢ evidently isn’t | Soupan 18 NowHERE. ‘These are more false profits in Wall strect than in the whole of Africa. GREAT CRIMINALS do not lecture more. They can do better as corre: of St. Louis papers. any pondents Ir 18 REFRESHING to witness the vigor of the authorities in suppressing Coney Is- land dives—at the close of the season. Tuere 1s 4 man in Indiana who has been twice laid out for burial. Undertakers must work cheaper there than they do East, or the man is a millionaire. Says tne Lovisvitte Courier Journal, “An editor who married an actress has bad ten children.” We recommend this editori- al freak to the dime museums. A Metuopist MINtsteR is in trouble for having imbibed toast with ale. That’s just like a minister, He'll learn to drink his toast with champaign after this. SeaLep proposats will be received at Tue Junge office for materials for the par- graphists, to take the place of roller-skating the coming winter. The rinks are to be abandoned. A GALLINACEOUS STATISTICIAN says that the average number of eggs laid by an ordi- nary flock of hens is 8 1-2 tothe fowl. We'd like to know where the eight whole eggs are marketed. It Must Gatt Oscar Wilde fearfully to discover that he is father of a conventional BEIIND Countayman— THE AGE, Bigot, here comea one of them gant derned icicles!” babe, that imbibes sustenance from a con- alized lacteal reservoir and yells like ar’s brat. One OF ovR FUNNY exchanges has a superfluously long name. Saul was the St. Paul Herald, we remember him when we reported that big thunder-clap for the Damascus Blade. Saul is as good a name for a paper as is Sun. as NEBRASKA'S NEW STATE census shows a ain of fifty per cent in population in five years and all the editors out there crow as if each was the paternal instigator of the whole stock. ‘* De rooster make mo’ rocket dan de hen wot lay de aig.” OUR ITEMS ARE OFTEN copied in ex- changes under the complimentary head- piece ‘wit and humor.” These recogni- tions of unsuspected qualities surprise us as much as it would ifa bank were to honor our check for twenty-five dollars, Revivatist Sam Jones says: ‘Hell is full of women who spend their time in shop- ping.” And their husbands look over the celestial balcony with their lorgnettes and listen to the agonizing cries of ‘ cash’ere!” from the infernal sales-ladics and the impe- cunious shoppers as they drop red-hot nickles on the iron counters. ‘They do not call “cashier” in vain, down there. comicbooks.com