Judge — September 19, 1885 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

all live on the shady side of the str The pupils will find a basketful of stones in the front area as they pass out. Now, be good boys, and don’t create disturbance. ‘The class is dismissed. [Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. We guarantee the speedy, painless and permanent cure without knife, caustic or salve, of the largest pile tumors. Pamphlet and references sent for two letter stamps, World’s Dispensary Medical Association, 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y. THE NEW AND THE OLD. The subject of meals, lunch-counters, dining-cars and buffet-cars came up the other day incidentally. I had ordered a little breakfast in the buffet car, not so much because I expected to get anything, but because I like to eat in a car and have all the other passengers glaring at me. I do not know which affords me the most pleasure—to sit for a photograph and be stabbed in the cerbellum with a cast-iron prong, to be fed in the presence of a mixed company of strangers or to be called on without any preparation to make a farewell gpeech on the gallows. However, I got my breakfast after a while. The waiter was cer’ y the most worth- less, trifling, half-asleep combination of Sen- egambian stupidity an and poor white trash THE JUDGE. awkwardness that I ever saw, He brought in everything except what I wanted, and then wound up by upsetting the little cream pitcher in my lap. not charge for the cream, He threw that in. So all the rest of the journey I was trying to eradicate a cream dado from my panta- loons. It made me mad, because those pantaloons were made for me by reques Besides, I haven't got pantaloons to squan- der in that way. ‘lo some, a pair of pant: loons more or less is nothing, but it is much to me. There was a porter on the same train who was much the same kind of furniture as the waiter. He slept days and made up berths I night. ‘Truly, he began making up berths at Jersey ‘City, and when he got through about daylight, it was time to begin to unmake them again. All night long I could hear him opening and shutting the berths like a concertina. He sang softly to himself all night long * You must camp a little in the wilderness And then we'll all go home indolence and He played his own accompainment on the berth. When in repose he was generally asleep witha whisk broom in one hand and the other nd extended with the palm up ting for a dividend to be leslaraee He generally slept with his mouth open, so that you could trad his inmost thoughts, t Artistic JAMES B. Fine Furniture, Carpets, 747 BROADWAY te Purnishing of Flats ana . ML AND Terms to rties Eiome 346 MERCER Furnishings w) McNAB, Bedding, &c., STRE Apaztments a Specialty. Wishing Ace Sisters of Charity Testify to the beneficial effects, (especially in cases of Sore Eyes and Skin Diseases,) of Ayer Two I's Sarsaparila s Infant um, Dore under their care, many infaney, to whom Ayer's inestimable valu three — had Sore Eyes, 3 neck, th Upon t Sarsaparilla, eruptior were cot by m satisfaction.” My little girl was ba from Weak which cu str For Scrofula, and all diseases originating impure xd always with perfect Lawrence, Blossom Hill, Va. Micted with I gave her —W and suffered : yer's Sarsaparilla, of Scrofula, and her eyes are now well and . Bort, Hastings, N. blood, take nd Sore h Ayer’s Sarsaparilla. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass, Sold by Druggiste. Price 61; six bottles, 85. He did | nd when I complained to him about the way my bunk felt, he said he was sorry, and wanted to know which cell I was in, I rode years ago over a new stage line for several days, It was through an almost trackless wilderness, and the service hadn’t been “expedited” then, It was not a star route, anyhow, The government scemed to think that the man who managed the thin ought not to expect help so long as he had been such a fool asterisk it. . (Five minutes intermission for those who wish to be chloroformed.) . * The stage consisted of a buckboard. was one of the first buckboards and the horse was among the first turned he driver and myself were the pass I will try to draw a picture of the driver from memory. I am not much of an artist, but I am __ passionately fond of trying. Many who have seen my artexhibit in an old barn that I have re- served for that purpose, that it has a | depth and irrelevancy rarely scen inside of a barn. In this picture I do not show the buck- board and horse for two reasons. First, I do not know how to draw a horse, and se ondly, I do not know how to draw a buck- board. A friend of mine who is living with his second wife under an assumed name, says it would bea good idea to get a man who knew how to draw the horse, and then let the horse draw the buckboard. In the illustration, the gentleman with the ship is the driver. The young man sitting beside the driver, who looks as though he wanted the earth, is the author of these lines drawn from memory. As I didn’t know how to draw any of the things mentioned above, I finally decided to leave them to the reader’s imagination, I leave the gentle reader to study and compare the two faces, and then say which of them shows the most character, force, intelligence and spirituelle. 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