Judge — September 12, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Legitimate Emotional Star Chooses Her Role. “[’m go glad to ece you,” eaid a Legiti- mate Emotioi Journalist, I want to ask your advice about a very important matter, Sit down on that trank—you can throw those things anywhere—and tell me what role I shall as- sume next season, If you write anything about me in your paper you'd better say you visited me at Newport or Long Branch.” ong Branch will do,” said the Journa- list, ‘‘ but why not play your old repertoire of Juliet, Parthenia, Camille, and the rest of them?” “No, no, you don’t understand. I don’t my repertoire; that’s all settled long and I’ve been hard at work making over dresses—I mean they’ve been ordered from Worth and you might make an item of it, too—but I am anxious about the role I'm to play in the newspapers. The first son | starred I carried an iron box full of diamonds with me. The next season I was followed from town to town by an Italian Count who wanted to marry me. Then I bounced the Count and had a vealthy and aristocratic young Bostonian— Star’ to her friend the | THE JUDGE. thoughtfally, “Tm sure I don’t see why it won't do jost ae well as playing Juliet with a real jover or Pauline with a real mother-in-law, as Kitty Skyborder has done ever since she | got married last fall. Heaven knows, I ys ed Parthenia once with that detestable | Footlight, who was even worse than a real | barbarian, and I never got a line about itin the papers either. I think, as you say, that this is a realistic age, so perhaps I’d better |do the Camille act. ‘thank heaven, my | yet. It was ever so good of you to call. If | you write anything about mé you might say that I am the idol of a refined and exclusive circle of society people.” ‘Two days later the Journalist opened the campaign with the following paragraph: “The friends and admirers of Miss Blank, the Legitimate Emotional Star, will learn, with keen regret, that her physicians have positively forbidden her to appear on the stage next season, Last winter's severe pro- fessional work and excitement have proved | too much for her delicate constitution, and leading specialists who have been consulted declare that unless she spends the coming | winter in the South of France she will run | very grave risks. Miss Blank, who has made time for farewell engagements hasn’t come | elaborate preparations for the production of her new version of Camille, obstinately refuses to listen to medical advice, and de- clares her intention of assuming the part at every hazard.” A Penny Saved. “Well, George, are you waiting for the | commission trains?” “You.” “+ Well,well,” I returned, ‘ what virtu- ous fellows we are! Our wives wouldn’t put themselves to so much trouble to save tive cents.” “That they wouldn’t; it’s the extrava- | gance of our wives that makes us pinch our- | selves 80.” “Won't you have a cigar, old boy; come into the Astor Rotunda, there’s time enough | for a whiff.” | My friend followed me. said, ‘‘ is there nothing we can take to neu- | tralize this heat. It is really dangerou | Wha’ do you say to a golden or They are favorites with the Minin; and their use is greatly approved by the | Faculty.” | Come,” he “The ancients used asa Vir- ginian on the South- ern circuit— who joined the company as a supe! simply that he might be near me. Last year I blended the two together and my agent worked up a lot of stories | about their jealousy and the prospect of a duel. Now here it is July with the fall sea- son staring me in the face, and I absolutely don’t know which way | toturn. Now do tell me | what to do?” '———— thought of anything?” en- quired the visitor. « Yes; quite a number of things. I might save some one from drowning at Coney Island—I look very well in my new bathing suit—but you know when Mra. Greenroom tried that qast year, the man who had been engaged to fall into the river got frightened and clawed all her back hair down, and they were both nearly dead when the boat came along to pick them up. I don’t want to run any such risk as that. Then I may have the consumption and play anything but Camille—play it with a real cough, you know—and that will give you a chance to write something pretty about the hectic flush on my cheek. Yon’d better say that I got sick becanse I threw so much soul and intensity into the part. How does the idea strike you?” ‘« There are immense capabilities in it and this is a realistic age,” said the Journalist SEA. HE BY T pon the beach, By the se He and And the waves within their reach Laughed “Tee! hee!" In their glee. And he thought she was enraptured With his dudish frail beautee, ‘That her maiden heart he'd captured We shall see! _ HEY satu Her hair was just as red Asa rose, When it grows: And the beauty him had led, I suppose, Was her nose! For ‘twas very elevated, And as cute as it could be, As they sat, (he, agitated), By the sea, His shoes were plain in sight, Toothpick—tape— (Horrid ape! ) And he saw her with delight View their shape, Size and shape, to “fight fire with _ fire,” like our own prairie boys, George. I think a devilled crab placed at the centre of our works would be potent to keep off the cholera.” There were still some five minutes before the five-cent trains ran, and that time was also utilized through the kind and combined as- istance of the cigar-stund and bar. I got home, however, in time to give my wife a le ture before dinner on wo- man’s extravagance in dress, To dry her tears I gave her the five cents I had saved, as a starter towards a new scal- skin sacque. VISCOUNT T, DE MALION. And he thought that she admired Them—the pride of cobbler’s art— Which was what he most desired In his heart! With pretended modestee, (Just to call Attention all To his lovely feet), said he, With his drawl— Whiney bawl— I will weally Both my—fect—ah—with my hat, If you look them—aw—all ovah, Aw-—like that!” ve to covah, ‘Then the maiden’s nose rose slow, Tossed her head, As she said— “Do you think your feet could go ath a hat Small as that?” . . . . . . And the waves with giggling started, With a gurgling, grinning glee, As a dude and maiden parted, By the sea. comicbooks.com