Judge — September 5, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Oh, Wate Yo Sunbeams ob heaben distill Ontell yo" ri I knows yo's t Yo" sweetness | ey talks ob tropic fruitins? Jess go way wid sech palaveh, Dar’s nuffla’ like « watahnillyun heal; Its meat am puah delight trim T wiv pink fo" dekorashun, Its jui hs No wont up bis shine as dey bask upon de vines. a cad ob wine vad be hh dat de darkey am fo" kickin When de watahmillyuns ripen Go way wid white men’s fixin's! When de nigga hab his possums, Wid watahmillyuns full ob bottled joys No wondah when de word dey am fit for plug Dat Ww! De ni, Ww roun’ d: busts de buttons ob de b watahmillyuns flourish—spite de thickness ob his skull— ah allus happy wid his heart an’ stummick full all feel Dis wold But all do An’ bide away in wat y 3 no room fo’ de trubbles in de poorest an} de space am all pre-empted undern bles an‘ de grip ob tribulashun, ob crime, about dis season ob de summah, ath his bulging vest Dey banish all de growlin’ froo de w n’ de griefs # de watabmillyun ental froo de ¢ De fruit am packed wid sunbeams for ¢ Wid de essence ob No wondab dat his‘ Dat his prar’s am nickel-plated in de w "s dark interiah, noah; s wil ts sublime, ahmillyun time Oh watahmillyuns! watahmillyuns! Yo" am puab ambrosi Bombs loaded full ob happiness an’ smiles, Who kin resist de pleadin’ ob yo" pink-lined invitasbuns, De coaxin’ ob yo" appetizin’ wiles? Bress God, ter be onhappy in yo’ presence am a crime, Ob, button-bustin’ packages ob jubilees sublimet De clappin’ an’ de shoutin’ come in watahmillyun time. I. EDOAK JONES A Producer The most gumerous word of the slang of the Rocky Mountains is “producer.” It’s meaning would frighten the ghost of John Stuart Mill from its propriety. A Rocky Mountain producer is not primarily one of the horny handed. © He is a ‘ tourist,” a “pilgrim,” or a‘ tenderfoot with money, who is drugged, rolled ” and generally unpocketed by the boys, and thas made to contribute his wealth to the general weal. After having become a metaphorical producer, the poor victim is often forced to become a producer in the more orthodox mean- | his fingers, millyuns | ** By the eterna When His Royal Highness Arthur I. House after the death of sician and Surgeon and come, for you 1 us that “Ignorance came into the White he met Dr. Bliss, the Court Phy d to him: ** If Lever send for you, don know that Iam crazy.” ‘This anecdote teaches is Bliss.” 1 his diploma at college, think- predecessor, Duntel Webster, he whipped out his n cutting it into shreds. In so doing he cut two of *Its good enough for d the president of the When Daniel Manning was gi ing to be like h knife and beg mu,” § Instituti cargo.” “Them diplomys cost us fifty cents apiece, by the One day G. Washington I. was riding along a lane and all at once a laborer with a pitchfork in his hand ordered him to halt, and said, ‘1 was told not to allow ro one to go through this lane beyant this gate.” But,” said the ruler, **you do not know, perhaps, who lam.” ‘No, and 1 don’t care,” continued the rustic, “You couldn’t go through if you was George Washington hisself.” _“* Here, take this for your honesty and firmness, my good man,” said G. W. handing the hero a nickle as he turned his horse around, The laborer looked at it a moment and then said, “No! keep it; I can’t change it. When the house that Jack built was in the ascendancy in the United States, and Andrew was in the purple of power, he was anxious to have a full house ev- | ery time as near- | ly’ as possible when he was led, but one time his prime ministers, being just in their prime, all went off to spend the Fourth of July, and about the seventh they brought up again, looking as if a cyclone had struck them. y 11? said Jackson. ‘ Your eyes look like holes burned in a sheet, and I have a mind to give each of you $10.00 or thirty days for contempt of court.” —‘* Please Your Honor,” said ne of the ministers, * if you have no objections, give us the $10.” This is not an old chestnut, it is an ‘Old Hickory ” nut. PRED. S. RYMAN. { watahmillyuns! Summal time's ambrosia! preshus blessin’s fom de gods; packed in big globes of perfeckshun, nds am mammoth angel pods mel i am lik but yo" elut bah Kill manna, an’ it allus fills de bill A WISE WAXDD: LER. ing of the word. Ww. Ww. “Uf I can't have the fat of the land, I will take a little lean.” comicbooks.com