Judge — August 15, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. nied by the sausage drummer, sought out — Brown’ and myself, and having submitted I don’t think landlord Boniphiz slept a | the case, desired us to assist him with our wink the night following the opera hat | advice as to what was his proper course to trick. He looked wa crustied in the morn- | pursue in the premises. ing us the dicer did the previous afternoon | 1 think Josh Brown is entitled to the after he had sat on it, and while eat- | credit of the idea which did the business for ing his supper he chanced on an item in the Boniphiz next day. Anyhow, it was he who Kansas City Wall-paper which gave so true wrote the following which appeared in the an account of the event and one so spirited Kansas City morning issue: withal that, in a state of mingled grief and shame he rose from his seat and went di- ON THE ROAD. ‘The chizens of Kansas City ar hereby invited to attend a lecture which will be iven by Mr. Au rectly to bed. Mrs. Boniphiz told Cusby | gustus Cusby, of New York City-at. Pauline Hall, in the morning that her spouse had turned ‘clock th noon on The subject of In his face to the wall and refused to be com- tal c. Mr. Cusby was himself forte charged by some malicious person in the papers is Lent, Vast with being of unsound mi He is meditating revenge, warned the good lady, kindly, young man,” and I would | { Mr. Casby will Celebrated experts, Drs. ily a dangerous man mination by th Sl 225) ee 2 (ates D. Il, Sardine his A Pauline Hall was crowded when Gus, at- tended by the two physicians, stepped upon the platform. Immediately he moved to the front and addresses his audience in this wis | «Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to vin- dicate myself from the charge of being un- sound of mind, and after that to instruct you as to some things which it will be to your advantage to know. [have been charged with insanity, and to refute this charge I have ured the services of the advise you to take the first possible train hence on completion of your necessary busi- ness.” But Gus laughed at the warning, although he thanked her properly, and started out, grip in hand, to drum the town, fearing nothing. ow, it appears from what followed, that some time in the day the landlord hit on ascheme to get even with Cusby, and ere the idea had time to cool proceeded to act on it, Lfence that evening the papers contained the following: xe Shay before be nission fre inning ; F entlemen here preset 8 yo s throughout the city, and citizens gen. | Medical gentlemen here present, you hereby warned ,that an insane man Ww well know, Dr. Shay and Dr. Sardine on name of Augustus Cushy, and who, certain important points are badly at issne, are informed on good a ity, labors unde and practice in different schools. You will delusion that he is a tr isent representing Eastern patent medicine concern, is at large among It is not known whether this person is a dan us Tunatic or not, but all persons are cautioned ainst communicating with him, for, while he may | be simply an y be a dangerous ma: therefor allow that if the doctors a Tam sane the charge brought ill be thoroughly disproved.” hen the doctors came forward and put him throngh a regular examination, at the end of which Dr. Shay stepped to the front and stated that while he hated to side with Dr. Sardine on any subject, honesty com- pelled him to admit that they perfectly agreed that Mr. Cusby was of sound mind and always had been. After which they withdrew bickering. When alone. Cusby addressed his audience substantially as follows: I desire to state, fi | that Tam by edue sree that gainst_ me Now, Mr. Hoofandhorn, he whom Boni- phiz had attempted to let in for a round or two of champagne the previous after- noon, pointed out this item to Cusby, fully believing that Augustus Was no such person as the article described, and shrewdly sus- posting further that the landlord whom he had a grudge against for the reason above | stated, was the ‘‘ good authority” alluded to in the article, and then Cusby, accompa- |. my friends, nand was for some years attached to the insane at Crank City, in the capacity of ant on the medical staff. “1 have been among demented people for years and could entertain you for hours with in tive and amusing ccounts of the patients which — || have come under my charge, but I will con- | fine myself toa statement of the dis wonderful cure of one of your tows prominent man who was under treatment for a brain difficulty, the scientific name for which I will not inilict on you. ‘The symp- toms of thed unmistakable. When, on examination, we find a growth of warts in | the emall of the back, gum boils on the near hind leg and bunions clustering at the back of the neck we know that our man is suffer- ing from this difliculty, which is simply a rupture of the tenderloin of the brain. The | treatment laid down by the schools is sim- | ple. After strapping the subject to a table a suflicient quantity of sulphuric acid is hy- perdermically injected to render him uncon- cious. Generally a quart is sufficient. | Then an incision is made about half way between the fifth rib and the right elbow, large enough to admit an ordinary crowbar. With this delicate instrument the liver is pried to one side and in. the cavity. thus | | | le is carefully placed the newspapers of day, including the Pali Mall Gazette, | us denominations of currency, | 1s when procurable being preferred, py of the Revised Edition. Then the | opening is sewed up by the use of a Singer sewing machine and the operation is fn- | ished. var ple ‘ow, even when this is done by the most skillful experts it sometimes happens that the patient dies, and if he does he rarely vers. Your townsman, to the surprise of doctors, neither died nor recovered, | had no brains at that by insertir through the » 1 began to think he |, and it was suggested six-foot butter trier of his foot the matter might be properly tested, but I induced the head surgeon to turn mun over to me, for special treatment, and Iam happy to say that by means of a new remedy, which about — | | that time came to my notice, | was uble to effect a perfect ¢ The only trace of in- | sanity now Ii is the practice of de- | on people's hats—his own | Iberately sitting included—which characterized his conduct while in the asylum. who have the honor of tl quaint. | ance will by this fi nize in my patient our est ndlord || Boniphiz, of the Putty Hotel. Of course Boniphiz, well known, and the eyes of all present were turned towards — | that part of the hall where he sat inecom- | pany with Mr. Hoofandhorn, who had per arrangement steered him into the joint. | 1 friend, 1 There was a distinct sensation which much affected Boniphiz that he arose, and in a fine fury left the hous Gus continuing, said: “My friends, 1 doubt ious to learn the 1 at you me of the re are anx- ly which restored your honored fellow cit will no longer withhold the p | formation. Pydia Linkham’s Mineral Com- pound it was that cared Mr. Boniphiz, if any person in this house is suffe A e from any ill of mind or body, he or she can ob- | tain instant relief and permanent cure by the use of one or more bottles, according 10 the directions printed on the label. The article is for sale by all the druggists in the city or (aside) will be within a week: I give || you as nt pointer on th my | if t hearer: en in sufficient’ quantity it | comicbooks.com