Judge — August 15, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COOLING REMARKS. Oh, fora cave in the beart of an iceberg? Filled with y warm tl ‘Kling with frost as Well! starved milk, and Yorker is ment. 1 preserved upon ice. water to roch to repose, ice-mattress padded with snows. ies everywhere pendant for trimmings with thermometer zeros strings, Joewater baths for oce Ice-blocks thick floating in Antarctic springs, lly fr pberless cracks aric thrills down our backs a} swimming nn place and | to eat a aly’ ‘ Rows of barometors stubborn and st Holding the weather right down t Stiff-souled ther its place, able and ready— have had that Teed drinks for thirst and iced ¢ lobules for pills in my eyes ver a breeze but is frozen to crackling, k Never a thought but of winters and cold aney i WN Guostly hands c rsouls with their clutches; gentle snow-drop, I i is clammy and bold; a chop, they can take }i Skies like a streamer of zeros unfurled, Papa may sa Iseapes a frozen and petrified world. “dear, dissipated Regina,” —_ inmy he Stay us with fh Filled with Melons a Canned Aretic waves in chilled metal dispensed; Clothing all banished to reg Clad in but fans and « f sherbets, blizzards in Wall $ ondunscd; n like bullets, don’t infra dig. sions unknown, JF sweetne brokers come and talk to me thr vinal distractions, Reautiful Snow,” in holders of ive e chills sporting “Oh, don’t worry, Lil, if the tambourine and ctures vest in a hand. n and we will ‘There are n ns playin, f snow-drop Carved with scenes Polar in cooling device. Pitch our tent with the North Pole for its centre, i} at its side | | anche ch Briefs Submitted beam be ze up each it can enter, olarical tide ice-berg’s cool grot. land's Deep ir Anything! Whew! Bri t It ig well enough, asa rule, to take things as they come, but you had better’ remove any where, hat here that it's n |. Flossie. Isn't it hott??? 1B JONES, the ‘box before taking the The woman-suffragists think the Barthol- | pills, di Statue is a hollow moe! kery [which the | The way of the transgres same it is, rather] because liberty in t form of a woman is placed at the portals of | ing its toughness, the c a state wh women are disfranchised. | proverbially happy. ‘Sall right, when you consider both form Mr. Cameron, the itinerant and substance. ‘The form of woman repre- | photographer, says he ** don’ ‘nts the enlightening and the brass sub- | never take no double a stance of the statue represents the voters of | tives in hi: tablishment, ” the country. Deliver us from * grind- — | ing poverty!” We'd as soon grind an ‘organ on a block with no saloon. | The Chinamen only are *celestiuls”; the rest of us are of baser clay—mere earth- aware. Mter courting a girl for two years, young Meig: cludes that she knows so lit- tle about the washtub he can’t afford to wringer. dl; but notwithstand- m is soris ha AN OP! hair-brained. | As Shakespeare was the only man of his time who didn’t repeat, we are led to | conclude that registration be- fore election was unknown in What are you waiting for ¢ “Waiting for a chap about like oney th T've got neither, n brains, The air is here, and that is about all—the fresh milk is a sion and a snare; with a pale blue fluid that would bring cheek of the most hardened milkman, For once in our lives Re Jefferson ‘The people here have no idea how to eat—in their opinion the acme of bli is pe and pork and beans! and Iam beginning to rebel! t night [dr Melancholy. i3 fast’ marking me for the “ horny handed sons of toil,” Sometimes I lie awake nights planning it all out suul to Jack, but he never can look at anything bald-headed men are seldom | and gave one brave THE JUDGE. Lilian Remonstrates. Deliver me from a Connecticut farm house! Iam almost We came up here expecting to revel in country air, fresh all the other truly rural attractions that acontiding New lead to expect by a deceptive but well-worded advertise delu- rved blush of shame to the it is all sent to the ityand sold, and we ar zina and T agree—we both hate this pars together. We neither of us ‘live st J don’t) but we both object to what Jack calls the n simplicity of the table.” can mingle our le How I loathe pie. 1 nd supper for the last three I am so miserably hungry am of Delmonico dinners and wake with tears 8 to the sad rea it for breakfast, dinner her own, and this sort of diet may but it won't do for me; like the —the family must buy me a coffin or ain“ fading away their choice! what he likes about the benefit of a quiet country life for id 1 know but I don’t read the papers for nothing 3 t it’s hard times he means. . is a sort of a financi: and I will stand behind a countet jo in Macy’s ** on the corner of Fourteenth St. and Sixth AVenoo.” see what else I could do—unless I opened a dancing school, ant when al twan; am sure that would be may not be far with a horrid » and I think I should like to be a telegraph girl down town and have all the nice-looking ‘ough the little window—that rcould be funt and the other day I unburdened my riously! He only said: worst comes to the worst, we will dr vup with a jue assortment of rags, / will emu ate the sunny Italian and in take you along us the monk ments when Jack talks like an abject idiot! THE NEW AMAZON, “ What reason can you give,” said that pretty casuist Phoebe Stanton, ‘ why women should not have the ballot? It was a warm day at Manhattan Beach, and I had designed a pleasant flirtation with fair Phocbe, I was not fully prepared for grious combat,but I rallied my forces Phe reason,” I replied sternly, ‘is this: women should not vote because they cannot fight.” She was far from being extinguished. “Don’t you think women could beat men in battle?” A bald head is usually con- | “No.” — sidered indicative of brains; “Now, look here,” she returned, ‘(no prevarication; but it is worthy of note that | look at those women bathing there.” I braced myself up lance. fake them just as they are; form them in line of battle; are there any troops in the world who would not ran from them?” “*No!” I faltered. “Then don’t talk to me about woman’s not fighting,” and on the instant she pulled out a Women’s Rights League and made me sign it. VISCOUNT T, DE MALION. comicbooks.com