Judge — August 1, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE, THE INSIDE TRACK. He came to the bower of her I love ‘Twanging his swect guitar; Hc called her in song his snow-white dove, His lily, his fair, bright star, While I sat close by the brow And helped her enjoy her sere ed maid. ale. He sang that his love was (Ilis voice w He said she was pur And [told her be wast Tdlon't know whether he hi For ‘ond compare ‘atle and fair, s string snapped like a pistol shot 1 how he loved her o'er and o'er, in every word, pgs that I never knew before, And sweeter ones ne'er were rd. But the night dews loo I his ar strin And they buzzed out of tune like erazy thi He sang and he played till the moon was high, was the love-born strain; swe And the ni And echoed rach sweet refr But I laughed when a beetle flew down bis throat nt up cach tremulous sigh And choked in a snort his hi; She like Iwas glad t Lever echoed When he tT leaned from the window, and then -d him and asked him to call again And then he went away. R. J. Burdette in Brooklyn and T did—just so- hear his | What will we do when the good days come, When the prima donna’s lips are dumb; And the man who reads us “little things” Has lost is voice like the girl who When stilled is the breath of the cornet man, Aud the shriliing chords of the quartette clan; When our neighbor's children have lost Ob, what will we do when the g cir drums, od time comes? oO W sen the tramp will work what will we do in that good, blithe time, oh, thing sublime! And the scornful dame who stands on her fect Will “Thank you, sir,” for the pre And the man you hire to work by the Will allow you to do his work your w And the cook who tryeth your appetil Will steal no more than she thinks is ri When the boy you hire will call you * Instead of Say” and“ Guverner;” When the funny man is humorsome How can we stand the millenium? ‘ered seat; [Burdette. Small farmers work on shares—plow- shares.—[Merchant Traveler. Fashionable women are the mistakes of creation.—[Merchant Traveler. Mr. Wouldbe Minister Keiley appears to Austriacized.—[Merchant ‘Traveler. 8 not an pieces” ‘The Bartholdi Statue of Liberty i actress, but she appears in more than a popular comedian, {Norristown Herald. Bismark takes no interest in the literature of his country; but he thinks occasionally of himself, and does not forget the beer of his country. [Picayune. A new book ji jnst published iscalled “The Devil's Port aie The tone of the work, it is inferred, is brims-tone. The price of the book is not stated, but it ought not to sul- ‘The critics, jamn it with faint pr [Norristown Herald. ‘The reason thata thief always steals the best horse in the neighborhood probably is that he knows he can’t be caught with the poor ones.—[Peck’s phur more than one dollar. doubt, will no A correspondent writes us 500 words on a postal card announcing that she is just r vering from an attack of failing eye hit. Our attack is just coming on. (Current. That eminent angler-granger, Unele Bob Roosevelt's old-new book is entitled ‘ Five h.”” The motto of the Ohio Foraker’s enough.” granger is * [Buffalo Express. | Boston society note—‘*Oh, where does beauty linger?” demands a Quaker City poetess, As a usual thing she lingers in the . rlor until her mother cleaned up the kitchen,—[Boston Post. “Do you play the piano?” asked Conroy's girl of him the other night. “Darned if | know,” replied Johny, never tried.”"—[Pretzel’s Weekly. The violin is beginning to supersede the piano as a fashionable instrument for ladies in Pari: French women are noted for being adepts at handling a bean, (Lowell Citizen. “ The revised version has it that ‘all is vanity and a striving after wind.’ How true this is and how often a man has died simply because his wind stopped. [Boston Post. 3 without salt are less insipid than awn tennis without girls. In this game, however, violence to the mind must be done by counting dudi men, for the John “y purposes of making up a game.—[Picayune. | A contempo “What is the di ference between a man and a pitcher?” At times the difference is very striking. man may be full and the pitcher empty. [Norristown Herald. The Buffalo girls have gone crazy over the good fortune predicted for them by a for- tune teller. Fortune tellers cannot be too careful about leading young girls to believe they will marry newspaper men. [Boston Couric Poet.— What do you think of my poem?” Editor—T think it ought to have a pension.” Poet (greatly pleased) — “A pension? Why so?” Editor—* Be- cause it is badly crippled in the feet. [Merchant Traveler. Revivalist Sam Jones wants to stick to the old Bible and straight preaching. Te calls the new nume for the old terror a silly, umby-pamby word. — “ Why,” says Sam, “you couldn’t frighten a cat with sheol. [Picasune. “Did you marry him for his mone: “Yes, Idid.” “Did you get any of it? “No.” “Did you get any of his prop- erty?” “No.” Did you get anything?” “Yes.” “What?” + Divorce.” [Merchant ‘Traveler. | “Ts it best to shave against the beard?” asked Quip. ‘That depends on whether yon are shaving a young man or’an old one,” replied Snip.“ Why, what ‘has age todo with it?” —* Well, a young man can only shave down.”—[St.’ Paul Herald. “This talk about the West Side Street Railway Company being hard to work for is all bosh?” Did you ever work for the com- ne ” «Yes, and In what ea! Twas an Alderm [Denver Tribun pany too. us well paid for it, acity did you serv One very fast race Modesty. "The nam fitness of things. —[ Pi horse named does not illustrate the une. Hotel keepers in the vicinity of Mount McGregor ought to be making a fortune out | | of the Vulgar curiosity of travelers who want to look at the ion’s sick man. Someone || y yet suggest his removal to Yellowsto ,» and then or, c ni [Picayune Tt was a wi iovernm Howstone there, fence it cattlemen and FE) | all the continent outs they will be happy. the rest of e thought on the part of our ent to get dead claim on k. Some day we can all go | in around us, and let the slish land companies have the fence, and then And if they are, all might to be.—[Burdette, An eloquent Philadelphia statesman says “There was atime when footpads did not meddle with politics; when loafers were not sent to the Legislature; when gamblers did hot attempt to edit public opinion; when great-hearted — and men governed cities!” No date is given. It must ha been before the war. —[Picayn The United States recei monkeys, hand-organists, hard-up | | strapped patriots, broken down and other useless things without a murmur. Any Minister sent to that country by the President of the United | ates ought to be received and welcomed s « compliment.—[ Picayune. Italy's rags, The Southwestern countic fairly smack with honey. ful trees laden with th seest extract like romance, but the one told in Worth of a hony dip ten feet thick, is para- [Atlanta Constitution. When the seventeen J usts come to this wild | honey there will be an opening for any number of John Baptists.—[ Picayune. fod that | North and land flow. | | Bat judging large . the A reverend mugwump thanks he has been spared to South united once m ing with milk and he | from the strikes in all workingmen not satisfied | with milk and honey. They want beer and boots, and bread and bacon and other sub- | stantial necessaries of life. [Norristown Herald. the Lord Mayor's ban- cities our and mechanic Minister Phelp: quet, on the occasion of confer freedom of the city upon Prince Victor of Wales, was given one of th est places, although he was the every diplomatist. present, and, ‘according to strictness of etiquette, should have had the lowest seat. In this country at Christ- mas dinners, the highest is always ven to the presentable buby of the family. [Picayune vert high. junior of | mosaic, | gems which i of your hearers isin the socia cle. To spe the manner of the vul- | | gar, your contribution is the same old bag | | of chestnuts, but von present them with so | 8 familiar t much personal pleasure, and your dress is s0 becoming, and your fleral offerings are | well worth the money which your father has | comicbooks.com