Judge — July 25, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. ON FOUND. Wh de stood And beamed on th With many a oO, nd sweet damsel so susbin; guid smile, O. With bis attooed on his fect, And his 0 But he saw not the dame on the opposite seat With the basket in her lap, O. damsel’s ve And the time so pleasantly He forgot bis surroundin, conductor's cry, * ¢ Was so soft and clear, sed, O, . and failed to hear Hold fast, O. But now a new light on bis life is cast; 0, at last, For this knight of the Has found he can make If it’s only by sitt amer le; nself use 0. on eg; Objectionable People. | you must have suffered already! = nt would not have lasted a month lon TE PEDDLER. This must not be,” | Before I could protest he h There is an old man with a frosty nose | the table-lamp Pith and sparse hair who comes into my_ office regularly every Monday morning. He has cookery books under his arm has been after me for two years to buy one. A cook- ery book—and I am a bachelor who eats dis- wnd breken the chimney lamp was in ruins, ‘It is thing sir that I happened to , | marked blandly, rising, he ean secure the same by proper mally at's reetaurant *he . top!” Leried, ** replace everything as | courtship and eeing to treat them as || we nod Mornings sts he says. it was, immediately.” well as a true American husk always paren |, “The number “of cases of premature | treats his wife. But Tue Jupee is con- “ Anythirg to-day? . blindness that [ have had the pleasure of | strained to give the English gentleman no} * Nothing to-day, thank you, . he calmly continued, “makes my | that to give a rl the place in his , Upon wine Be. Jae as regularly bows 1 agreeable one.” “| regard usually held by women in England, himself out and 8 up next Ww Il like the cooke life would be h But men come in all hours of the day to sell things that I never could, would or should want. ‘They bring me pictures, chairs, folding screens, brooms, rugs, spring beds and table clothes Confound your impuden nking the man was deaf, your burner! [ won’t have it, nd go to the de If peddlers we as if L had announced a determina’ to | set up hovsekeeping in my office. hey | offer me chromos of the most atrocid order with the asseveration th are ntings of inestin value. Some of tales wherewith to One man used to a horse to his m have melancholy supplement their wares. call who could ne’ huckster’s wagon five weeks, at of which time the unfortunate ani- “blind sta sir, ag- | eis uv de hoss ears. nly and otherwise estimable widow with eight children was equally un- happy with her sewing machine. Fi mouth it unaccountably fell to y she invariably called upon me to rebuild it of towels. red nosed and highly objectionable pe: rson bi ursting into my office the other day. ‘IT have called to lay before you the most wonderful discovery” of sci- -burner, sir! Perhaps you not aware sir, that ordinary burners give off noxious fumes having a peculiarly ruinous effect on the eyesight.” The creature started theatri us he looked at me. “Good heavens! sir,” he exclaimed, ‘ how “ Brain faver, is it? 1 advanced to | nimbleness that »polled me he had whipped off the shade Tn a moment the !”' 1 shrieked 14 “Then sir,” the creature w | turbably, I feel that ill be grateful to me as long as you live. And when in old age you y tales to your grand- nt on imper- children without using you will | ascribe your fine eyesight to my visit this “Don't you understand?” I shricked ain, ** Tdon’t w He immediate! jured Sequence is that! nt it; L won't pay for it.” truck attitude of in- yment! Of what con- I could not remove that burner fo: mount of mon No, sir; your eyesight is worth many gas-burners to Let me present you with this one me. asa token of my love of humanity. [am a poor man under heavy traveling expenses and with a large family crying to me for bread —he sighed dismally—* but I must do my duty. The price is or two dollars a dozen. repent of your harshnes you reflect on the inestimable benefit Uhave been to you. Good morning sir, And if at any time or under any circumstances the burner gets out of order you will find the wenty-five cents Tam stire you will when in after years manufacturer's name stamped on it, and a ! pe d dropped to us at Baltimore will ; pring a man to tix it for you.” ‘iy 1 vanquished. The idea of sending a yt workman from Baltimore to fixatwenty-tive — | | | cent burner given me gratuitously by the | iy: agent was too much. I for the | i] burner—and pitched it out the window after Your eye- the tirst trial. HILLARY BELL, A Home-Rule Plan. If any other rising young statesman in Sngland. besides Lord Randy Churebill wants a Yankee wife’s help to keep him a fortunate call,” he re- will be likely’ to 1 ina way he do ult in the hus sn’t expect. nd rising don’t want en to the ‘Take it out) extent of getting raised out of the marital ! game, possibly. Oh! Docther, it's a proud man Iam the v1!” comicbooks.com