Judge — June 13, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THE ROAD. THE JUDGE, The Children of Mammon Despoil the Israelite. iggest undertaking busine if the Two-spot himself w other fellow. Ge ’ Tam . next morning Lattended to my tra¢ ution act in their own wa Just before dinner Josh mei Ile has shipped the town.” Not Cushy?” 0, of cow What for? Filching Cusby’s bum ulste What's that, Lazarus boned Cusby’s uls retr e not, Mose Lazarus.” “That's what he is charged with, dear boy grasped the import of my murmurs. Now ‘Aug ict onto his shroud, will you.” us wore was certainly a la la. with fur collar and cuffs, and, taking it up one side and down the other, it was by niftiest ulste which garment, by the way, it strang “Where did you come up with that sing! “Tf you'll kindly hold your breath for five consecutive minut give you the whole song and dance,” said Josh. No? a pall-bearer’s delight, Gus? in on his parrativ Brown, it seems, was pretty sure that La so after breakfast he styrted for the unde: Well, he Josh found his man on deck, for Maggot was an ‘ early worm.” happened the night before and easily got his more easily because Maggot much “disliked which he immediately did. fist. Mose pi Before bracing Maggot, who was and removed his overcoat, hanging it up carefully not far from where the boys were sitting. Gus and Josh were concealed in the sed without seeing them. s busy ir Then he went for Maggot. emptied the pockets and handed it to Gus. having previously shoved in the pockets the also Maggot’s check book, which lay conven noiselessly left the store. Gus slid over to th von after in walked the victim with his el UGUSTUS CU. BY and Joshua Brown, my opinion of youtwo is that you are @ measly pair of suckers, and & disgrace to our noble profession. I am tempted to start @ museum with you two, for freaks, charging children under five cents, ears old, and ertise you thoroughly.” “or the love of 1s begged, this snap away, Lang.” “Te is correct, Gus, we are chumps of rankest sort,” Josh said dolefully. { moves me torhyme. Listen to tenderloins: Before we braced that brace of Jews, Our bliss was great, good Mister il, now suckers we Our bliss has turned to blister.” “Let up on this doggrel business, Josh,” I said severely, “and try to figure out in prose some f getting even with this Lazarus and his pal.” After a few moments reflection Brown said: ‘I think, Gus, we can down that Semite with the assistance of a good fricnd I have here. lis name is Maggot, as in Milwauk Ile would lend me a hand ‘T'u-morrow the catastrophe will eventuate, Ax you have le, leaving Josh and (Gus to work the great ine in the lobby of the Shingleton with this remark: ter? Your feeble understanding has correctly bid your eyes assist your ears. Here comes Asatin lined surtout made of dark blue cloth r the rT had seen that trip, barring one that Lazarus had worn the night before, resembled. asked. , my sweet gazelle, I'll “Tere take a cigar and sit down, Tave re goes,” and Josh, having lighted up, started stone cluster, Gus,” I arus would call early on his friend Maggot, er, carrying Cusby's porchase on his arm. He related all that had friend’s consent in downing the Hebre the man. This done he hellophoned ant ulster on and his sample grip in his office which was located near the door, and n the back of the store, he put down his grip Just as soon as he moved off Josh took the ulster off the hook, Then he hung the hand-me-down in its place, papers, etc., that belonged to Lazarus, iently to hand, after which both of the boys ¢ Shingleton House and locked the coat in his | you help sell it to me last night? trunk, while Josh kept watch outside and waited for his cue. He saw Lazarus come foward with the undertaker to the place where the grip was, talking earnestly—so earnestly in fact that he failed to notice the substitution of over- coats. rus opened up his line and tried to sell, but it was plain that Maggot wouldn't look at anything. Lazarus evidently didn’t take the bluff easily, but finally strapped up again and was absently reaching for his coat, when Brown, accompanied by Cusby, who had rejoined him, waltzed in. “How are you, Maggot,” Brown said, shaking hands, “I was on my here when I met my friend Cusby—Mr. Cusby, Mr. Maggot—Cusby has been robbed. He'll tell you about it. Morning Lazarus,” nod- ding to the Hebrew. “Yes, Mr. Maggot, while I was being shaved a while ago,” Gus related, ‘some fellow swiped my overcoat. It’s a curious looking thing made of a brown and orange cloth with a big check pattern and can be easily identified. I asked a newsboy on the corner if he had seen such a garment. con- veying off a man hereabouts, “He had, and said that that overcoat came in here with a grip a short time ago. Just then I met Brown and so—why, confound it, that’s my coat that Lazarus has got his hand on now. See here, young fellow, how did you come by my coat?” “Is that your goat, Guape Vere is mine, then?” And Lazarus looked about him in a bewildered sort of way. “You know that thing is mine, 2 Didn't See here, ] put a pair of yellow dogskins in the pocket this morning and—here they are now. But —what’s this?” “Why, great grief, Lazarus, that’s my check book,” exclaimed Maggot. “It’s my opinion that you are no better than a low sneak thief.” ** Bud, shentlemans, dose isn’t my ulster. Mine was a darg plue wun with a furcollar.” going through the pocke: letters—every one addressed to you, how did they get into my ulster unless you put them there: “Ts a clear Lazarus, Here boy,” sung out Maggot, ** go outand get a copper.” “IT think Cusby began to pity the poor wretch whose countenance expressed at once bewilderment, terror and grief, Josh didn’t, Ile described his display of emotion as **more fun than a nickle-plated circus with a free bar.’ Anyhow Gus said, presently: See here, Lazarus, that ulster of mine isn’t worth much, especially since you have worn it. Iam not disposed to make trouble for you and if Mr. Maggot will let you off, will.” On one condition,” said the undertaker, “ Luzarus has got to get out of town and by the first train. If he declines, I'll prosecute him.” Poor Moses jumped at the offer and was making a break for the door, grip in hand, when Gus stopped him. Lazarus you'll freeze,” he said. [return good for evil. I’ll never we: hand-me-down again. Hustle into it.” “Bud, Mr. Guspey—” “Get into it or I'll jump on your collar,” Gus threatened. “And skip for the train directly or I'll have you surrounded and pulled,” supplemented Maggot as Lazarus Jit out. Whether he left by the C. & N. W., or how this the C. M. & St. P., TF -cannot tell. 1 know we never saw him or that ulster again. L. L. LANG. comicbooks.com