Judge — May 16, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SONG OF THE OVERCOAT. HH herald 1 Then, 1, the warm Hail to thee, 1 Unele, i} 16 thee till Fall on hfal good work thro” the winter Pve done Tve been all aroun) wnd bad fun my wrappin > really all ATH seek Ul the nt of Fall nh, says the warm overeont 1a Hail te Uncle But now for 2 there uly Warm overcoat, thee, bail to thee till Fall Ob, gently they'll lay me where moths cannot come Mosiuitoes ne'er by My e An ther with heart gilling hut wring of camphor all inse gently Tl sleep till the breezes Ti ays the overcoat I, the warm overcoat Hail to thee, hail to thee, Uncle, till Fall A Sporting Problem. Senser Cox is writing a book entitled Three Decades.” We do not know whether this is to supersede Hoyle and Schenk authorities or not, but’ we'd like to know, you know, why any one wants /iree deck aides in any Five-Hundred and Forty Heiresses Wanted. The parliament of Hungary has turn out 240 Counf™Ay count) and 300 nobles (ignoble souls!) because they are too impecu- nioua to even pay taxes. Let them adver- tise inan American per for rich wives. ‘There must be as many us 540 heiresses in this country, not counting inmates of idiot asylums, who would jump at the chance to re these Hung’ry noble men, and their old garments. A Brute’s Suggestion. “Tam going to see Jo: moraing,” said Mrs. McIntyre to her hus- band as she tied her bonnet strings under her left ear before the parlor looking-glass. “Well, if you'd just stay at home and see yourself cook, we'd possibly have better Sunday dinners than we get how!” grunted the hateful man. ph Cook, this A Triumph of (N. Y.) Statecraft. o state census in New York this eh? governor vetoes the publican legislature's Lill, the Republ loose the appointment of several huni enumerators, and the Democrats Ic anticipated benefits of increased repres tion in the legislature under a new tionment Thus it is 1 stand-off tween the parties, As the - the entire cost of th is done except a vio stitution of the z must be the most brilliant conp d'etat ateur statesmanship. > con- state, THE GAS BILL The Cause of Depression. “Mr. Carroll D. Wright, Commissioner of L at Washington, announces that the administration is about to undertakea general inquiry into the condition of labor in this count ‘urope, with a view of di ses of industrial depression One of the first subjects of inquiry should be the size of beer mugs, and the alarming increase of proportion of suds to nutriment. Labor cannot be cheerful and thrive under such tendencies. Death's Cold Flood. The case of a Chic: bled out of the ri stream was cold, recall attempts are much less frequent in winter than in summer. It isexplainable, perhaps, on the theory that the man who can attempt Je expects death will give him a hot ‘ome, and the disappointment chills his enthusiasm, as it were. It also shows, what all suspected, that cold water cures are to be dreaded than death. The oppo- site is the case with allopathy; for it people will even invite death knowingly. » suicide who scram- because the death the fact that such Grounds of Objection. In a justice court, at’ Binghamton, an energetic chestnut burr of a lawyer from a back town is trying acow-case. the tactics of city lawye , he objects to the questions of opposi z counsel with somewhat more spontancity than relevancy, but when called on by the court to state the grounds of his several objections, comes to the center with a rural naivaite and originality that sensibly relieves the tedium of the pro ings object to that question.” The counsel will state the ground of his objection.” sae Again, rai question is misleadin, I object.” use state the grounds.” The question is irreverentand But it prevailed, this ti inuch to the dit attorney ” cles.” ned that unlettered justice for he won the case, ust of the ‘rising young who opposed him. 0 hap PUT TO SLE 2P BY BOODLE, City Agricultural Science. Ir is when the New York daily turns loose on metropolitan agriculture, that it shines. One of them sought to console the wet May day movers with a reminder of “the smile of satisfaction on the face of every farmer who had his corn and oats in.” If this refers te s and corn n” the farmer's horses, it was all right; by a liberal construction it might even refer to corn juice in the farmer, and oat-meal mush in his family. But if. it a dim allusion to crops, it was about a month ahead of the time. Better Than Money. A GREENBACK paper answers the question, “What is money?” thus: ‘It bears the same relation to wealth that a circus ticket it ‘admits the bearer.’ It en its equivalent; neither is the ticket the performance, or anything like it; but both legally entitle the holder to ive the value expressed on their face.” mall boy who erawleth under and the better than money, then. Quite the same, we would take our chances for the ‘* wealth” if we had plenty of the tickets, wealth, and not quarrel about the definition or the distine- tion. Ambitious of | Toots in the State Department. The new Assistant Porter, (Dem. Congress Secretary of State, enn.) after pitching ito rne (Dem., Tenn.) re- | fused to rubbed it in” by | claring that ( sman Whitthorne “is a man of no consequence.” Gen, Whitthorne should console himself with the reflection that the opinion of this cerebrally-expanded Toots of th fe Department is not even original. The whole administration, from President down (‘down ” officially, not intellectually) entertains the same opinicn of all congressmen, It is no personal re- flection on this particular Tennessee congress- | man, but an official definition of precedence nd ** inflooence comicbooks.com