Judge — May 16, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| - THE JUDGE. 11 | | ON THE ROAD. The Boys Learn the Risks and Profits of Pharmacy. I think I can offer you both a bit of amuse- | “ Yes, but I do. 7 ment this afternoon, and throw in a little profit | and Ma said I probably had a cavity which should be filled.” ~ ‘on the side,’ so to speak,” remarked Gus Cusby | _ ‘Even in that case, Miss, you have no occasion to seek a dentist. when we mot at dinner at our hotel in Chicago | You see we have a wonderful toothache cure which will not only Thad a perfectly awful toothache last night few days after our arrival. ‘* While drumming a | drive away the pain, but cause a growth of the ivory that will west side druggist this morning a telegram came | quickly fill the cavity. In connection with this remedy we recom- S in advising him of the birth, death or marriage of | mend ‘our Electric Tooth Powder which if used daily will cause a near relative somewhere out of town and im- | enamel to form over the ivory beside whitening the teeth, of |! peritively demanding his immediate presence. | course, and sweetening the breath. You had better take six boxes, ‘The fellow is at present without an assistant and | Miss—only a dollar each And I should advise the use of this set if he were to lock up his store and leave his business it would be | of brushes in connection with the powder. Three dollars only a bad for him, so when I offered not only to run the concern for aday | set. There are four numbers you sce, and each is adapted to its | vr two, but bring with me two experienced drug clerks, he embraced | particular office. Only two sets? Thank you, Now to make fully both me and the offer and we are to take charge this after- | your mouth absolutely perfect, if you will pardon me, let me suggest | | on. ‘The net profits come to us, understand. Are you with m this gum wash—” and so on for fifteen minutes. 7 Lente,” mid’ Brown, “Only $12.75, Josh,” groaned Cusby, as he divided the & 0 you one round, Gus,” T assented, put the change in the drawer, “J fear you and Lang will never So a couple of hours later, the druggist having departed, wetook | the drug business.” soseasion. A few minutes liter u healthy and prosperous-looking old gentle- As Brown and I knew nothing about the drug business, Cusby | man entered. Cusby stepped briskly forward with: | | deemed it wise to post usa little, he having in his youth put in a| “What can I'do for you, sir?” brief apprenticeship at the trade. “Tam troubled with a little indigestion, I think; can you sug- “A druggists stock,” he sai gest anything to relieve ms and n “consists for the most. part of a soda fountain, a city directory, a stock of patent medicines and some postage stamps. ‘That is all that is really necessary, but it is customary to carry a small stock of drugs distributed among a large lot of bottles, jars, and drawers. You two fellows are to run the four important items of the plant, but on no vunt must you interfere with my end of the biz, which will be the pre- scription department, * There is one feature of the drug trade which I must impress on you, to wit: be sure you charge enough. Don’t be ‘afraid to ch too much. The volume of price in this business is uni- versely proportioned to the vol- ume of goods, and the trick is to keep the former large and the latter emall. Do you get on? ow here comes @ customer, ng, brace him.” “Young man, I have an abdominal pain and require some “Certainly I can,” Gus answered promptly, “from your appearance I should judge that your trouble lies in the region of your stomach,” “Wonderful,” assented the old man, “Do you not after eating a heavy meal feel a disinclination to partake of solid food?” “Tdo, Ido.” “Am I not right in saying that yon are apt to perspire freely whilé taking violent exercise, particularly in summer?” “Yes, Doctor, l invariably do.” “T thought as much,” said Gus, looking sad and” grave. “These symptoms, my dear sir, are indications, not of indigestion but arise from a pre-historic con- dition of the Casabianca which has affected the left codicil, the pneumatic tubes and the morganatic centre of the poten- tate, which as you are undoubted- ly aware symphathises in action with the pedigree when in an active condition.” ‘For heaven’s sake, Doctor, tell me; am [as sick as all that?” “T regret to say that you are, my dear sir, but happily I can put | | | gin—ger and a little plain soda ~not too much soda, please,” and the gentleman, who wore a black coat and a white choker, made a labored attempt to wink at me with [ his starboard eye. up for you a remedy which will certainly cure you. I will prepare it We had 80 far informed ourselves of the geography of the shop | ina few minutes. “Take a chair, sir.” | as that T had no difficulty in locating the resting place of the| ‘Here you are, my friend, The price is $16.51,” and Gu spiritus framenti and quickly put my hand on the bottle contain- | brought forward a vial containing a clear liquid with a white sedi- ing the extract of juniper berry, I mixed and the dominie downed. | ment.“ Take five drops after each meal and in two weeks you | | Sixty-fi dd. will be a healthy man,” | “Ts that the usu young man?” “But, Doe that seems to be a large price for so small a “No, we allow hers and clergymen a discount of fifty | quantity of medicine.” per cent. Good afternoon.” “Tt would appear so,” | “That's not bad for a beginner, Lang,” said Gus, as he handed | expensive. It is the only thing that will help you, and mark thi l| | useach twenty cents and dropped a nickle in the drawer, ‘ but— | if treatment is long delayed, you will certainly die of a parliamentary | here's a chance for you, Josh.” | form of tho previous question joined to—” | | | | | us assented, ‘but the drugs are ver, I look at the directory, please?” “Here’s your money Doctor. Let me go.” And the old gentle- ertainly, Miss,” exclaimed Brown—* or rather.” stepping | man fled. || || forward remarking that the lady was young and pretty, “let mo! ‘What I want to know Gus,” said Josh as Cusby handed us | | find the address for you. What is the name?” | $5.50 each and dropped a penny in the drawer, ‘ what I want to “Dr Pi He lives on Michigan Avenue somewhere. He | know is what did you charge his Nibs the odd red for?” | isa dentist.” | ‘Why, don’t you see, Josh, the vial is worth nearly a cent— “Surely, young lady, you have no need of a dentist; your teeth | chalk and water cost nothing.” appear perfectly sound and white,” he remarked turning the pages. | L. L. LANG. comicbooks.com