Judge — May 9, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JORDAN'S OPINION. Svawen’s not far—my goodness! no, Peter's beginning to plough—and O, House-clea ‘er—I m glad it’s so; nin's ¢ Yes—but the cholera’s comin’ d's mysterious!" Shut up—dot no more'n you, much—n that’s sartin true, When the cholera’s comin’ 's not in D’ye spose if Tdida’t clean house at all, An’ Pete left the barn-yard to go till fall An’ drains was cbokin’ up thick ‘n small, T'd laugh at the cholera comin’ D'ye think if I threw bread an’ hash, Th plash Behind the house, that I talk such trash “Bout the Lord milk, an’ butter, an’ tate "the cholera comin’? ies are full of filth as crime, The rivers carry it out in slime, ul! I believe it’s time lera to be a-comin’t An’ the folks ast as they di “ What do we care!” O, it makes me sore With that awful cholera comin’, But [ tell you what—at the judgment scene, The Lord will ery—I say what Tm * You sinned to my face in not keepin’ cl You knew of the cholera comin’! “You spread it abroad au’ helped it on, M. pul! she’s her mad, but as sure’s ye And laid it to me! I've one, F born n't talk of the cholera comin’ DoT. ON THE ROAD. The Commercial Traveller as Missionary from Central Africa. “Gus, were you ever in Patagoni “You know I never was, Josh enland, [ suppose?” “Ever traveled in Siberia, New South Wales, ‘Tonquin, Siam or—” “0, come off, old man. Tell us what you are getting at,” Gus broke in. “Only this: I have a scheme, and if you are only man enough to cerry it through, we can raise money sufficient to get us out of Indianapolis. mind you, but we need the money as badly as the heathen do. My idea isthis. I'll intro- duce you, Gus, to a customer of mine who runs a Sabbath School near here, as Dr. Augustus Cusby, the great African explorer and missionary. See?” “But, Josh—” I interrupted. “Shut up, Lang. I will tell him that Dr. Cusby will talk to the children this afternoon—it’s Sunday, isn’t it—I know the man and he'll he delighted with the sugges- tion.” “Say, then how’s that going to help us to money,” said I, “You're a born fool, Lang. Don’t you see, after Gus has given them the talk, he takes up a collection for the poor little darkies. We three are the darkics.” “*O-ho! Your's is a big head, Joshua Brown,” Gus exclaimed, ‘I'll do it. obtaining money under false pretences, but when we get our remittances in Chicago, we'll send a contribution to the Sunday- It’s | | School fund equal to double the amount of {when driven to it by hunger. | | | THE JUDGE. the stake.” And so it fell out that Gus Cusby found himself facing an audience of three hundred children that afternoon in the character of a great traveler in foreign lands. lis lecture was very instructive and ‘‘ the greatest effort of his life.” It was also a great pecunia 3, for it brought us the sum of $19 h was ample for our purpose. I recall only a part of it: “My dear children,” he said, ‘‘ 1 want to tell you this afternoon of a peculiar people whose country I visited while exploring Central Africa in company with that famous traveler John L. Sullivan, in the y 14 The land was named Jones’ Wood by » nd Sir John Franklin, who discovered it in the year 1776, since which time it was never visited by any white man except Frederick Douglass, until the date of our ex- pedition. You will tind it on your maps of Central Africa lying between Newtown Creek and the Hackensack mountains, at latitude 4-11-44 and longitude ** There are many thin bout this land and its inhabitants I could tell, that would surprise and interest you. Of course, like all Africans, the people are brunettes—not colored—-they were born so. Their men are invariably very short because their religion obliges them to practice a rite which they call keno, and which means in English, “Bucking-the-tiger.” ‘This thing they actually do. ‘Think, dear children, what a | barbarous religion it must be which demands It isn’t quite a square deal, | such horrible ceremonies, the risk they run inthe bucking process, but very few die, and quite as few arc bitten or clawed by the ferocious animal; they are simply made very short. “ Are a peacable. tribe. Abstemious in drink only when th Notwithstanding sober their h nd orderly bits, they | of famine: the In Jones’ Wood the crops grow without cultivation. Even in midwinter I have seen strawberry vines twining themselves around the lamp- and v es growing between the street-car track: indeed kind. So warm is it that the people of this favoted land need to dress but simply—very simply. I did not see so much as a bustle or a dress shield during the whole of my stay there, but liver-pads and porous plasters met my eye at every turn. ‘While the women talk over the new minister's wife, and the children smoke corn- stalk cigarettes and play at mumbley-peg for nickles behind the wood-shed, the men roam the forests in search of the timid omnibus, the untamed blizzard, the fleet-footed cow- catcher, or angle for the speckled trombone, the powerful limburger, or the wily slugger, ete. “Now, children, Iam going to ask you to contribute some pennies to meet a ve pressing need of these people. ‘They havn't Pad a bad potato crop and are not in danger do not necd money for a dynamite fund because they live a long way from Ireland; the French nation have not presented them with a statue of Libert they require no money to build a pedestal. They need money for none of these things. What they do require and what they can do no longer without is safety pins, large ones and lots of ‘em. Children, you are none of you too old to appreciate something of what the value of this , or perhaps is now, and certainly issure to be in the future, and I hope every little boy and girl will cheerfully put their pennies in the box which your dear superintendent will now cause to be pa R . ‘The box was passed and it is needless to say that we took our departure as soon as we decently could after being handed the con- arely eat except | tents Britis Lios—‘ Do you know, sir, that is my foot you trod on?” Russias Bear—‘* We , what are you going to do about it?” comicbooks.com