Judge — May 2, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER PHOTO. Sne is sitting in a chair, While around her golden hair Plays the sun, Aud the air of faint surprise In her dreamy ten Yanks the bun, She is ‘There's a delicately weak,” slush upon her cheek Clear and thin; If you could but understand How T once held her full hand, You would grin. Well, I made a pretty ass— One that no chap could surpass— Of myself. She said * What was her name? Well, she’s in that velvet frame On the shelf Jous v, sTERR Amenities ‘of Oregon Travel. There is a thrilling excitement connected | with being held up by road agents. If possible it is more exhilerating t the whiskey they sell in Portland. A si shooter is a powerful stimulant. It sets the sluggish blood to coursing madly through the veins, and has been known to afford relief in chronic cases of lassitude when all other means proved powerle I was traveling once in a Southern Oregon stage-coach. It was a beautiful morn in May, und the balmy air was redolent of the flowers of spring and the breath of an inebriated gentleman from Yreka, who was going to Jacksonville to fill a pulpit or start a livery stable, I have forgotten which. ‘The swinging motion of the stage and the sense of boundless freedom, born of the pic- turesque surroundings and a bottle of whis- key, filled my breast with joy, and I lifted up my voice and warbled. ‘Through the deep and sombre gulches floated the clear, sweet notes of my bird-like voice, causing a wild Indian to pause in his mad chase after a jack-rabbitt, and urging the mules into an agitated trot: “L want to be an angel, And with the angels stand.” As these familiar and beautiful lines were ended, I lifted my eyes and gazed earnest! into the barrel of a 44 navy revolver. Be hind it was a gentleman who evidently had been to a mask ball. “Stranger,” he said, ‘air ye really pinin’ to be an angel? ’Cause if ye air I can ye right through. Otherwise pass over t valuables.” I humored the man in his eccentricity, gave him my pocketbook and watch. ~ “Is that all? Gi’ me that diamond ring.” It was a gift from my mother-in-law, and I begged hard to be allowed to retain it, but the eccentric collector crooked his finger a trifle and I hesitated no longer. Apparently the road agent relented some- what. ** Well, kinder rough to tal man’s keepsakes,” he said, half apologetical ** Blamed if I ain’t ashamed of myself. $ stranger, this ring’s no good to me. twenty dollars and it’s your’s.” I made a motion towards my boot, where my funds were secreted. At that moment the villain’s ruse flashed through my agitated brain, aad I tried to mislead him by scratch- ing my leg, but it was too late. Click went the revolver. It sounded like the cocking of @ canon. “Hand me that money in your boot-leg, | Gi’ me | relief. THE JUDGE. AN AIRY Jeatous Husnant Pravstere Wir Jeatous Huss “Oh, you ar or I'll blow the top o’ your head off! Quick!” Again I yielded to the road agent’s playful way, passing over my last cent. “Take it,” I groaned; ** there still remain Do you my good name and a few tracts, want them also The highwayman took pity on me and passed back ten dollars, saying it would take me to Portland. Then turning to the inebriated gentlemen from Yreka, he placed a revolver under his nose and told him to throw up his The only reply was a deep snore. The road agent used a more convincit argument; he d the revolver punched the man’s head. “Wrsky sou’,” hic-conghed the unsus- pecting man, The perplexed robber stooped and smelled the Yreka man’s breath. ‘That was proof convincing, and he lifted up his voice and swore. [lis companion, who had been amusing the driver outside, stuck his head inside the stage, and inquired: ** What's the matter, Pete? of preachers?” “ Worse than that,” muttered Pete, as he backed from the stage. ‘* Here’s a drunk who ’s just rollin’ in w ewelry, an’ he won't sober up enongh for me'to hold him up.” ** Just our luck!” growled the man on the outside. “Seems as if half the people we hold up this summer are drunks or lad The highwaymen passed some jokes the driver, warning him to have a fuller treasure box next time, und deliberately mounting their horses, they slowly rode awa: Then the driver climbed into his seat and an instant later we turned into another canyon, and my experience with highwaymen was a thing of the past. Last fall a gentleman from Boston was riding in an Idaho stage that had an eng ment with two road agents just beyond Boise. He was suffering terribly from neu: ralg nd Struck a pair with The robber was toying with the nickel-plated instrument, and in the untamed western way became over-playful. Somehow “ Flirting again jealous of nothing.” Nb (with a glance out the window)—** Ah, / see that Lam.” , but a six-shooter afforded instant | NOTHIN there was an explosion, and when the smoke had cleared away there was no more neural- gia, neither was there any juw to the Boston man. The robber was very much pained by the sudden occurrenc The Boston man had not yet yielded up his property, and, of course, ho man who has any respect for hint- self would rob a corpse. On the same stage was a pessimistic Eng- lishman, with an overdose of ennui. He passed his time in yawning and drawling out imprecations upon the country, and was in a fair way of dying from inanition, Yet when a road nt levelled a big revolver under his nose, and told him to throw up his hands, he brightened up and took a won- derful interest in the proceedings But the glory of the road agents is rapidly waning. ‘The lumbering old stage-coach is almost a thing of the pust, and there is too much uncertainty connected with holding up passenger trains, Slow nd sadly they climb the gallows. steps and are launched into the great unsolved. Like the buffalo and ether ferra nature animals they must go. Itis well. My only regret is that they were not extinct five years ago, before I lost my jewelry and coin. N. W. DURHAM, One of the old Masters. INTELLIGENT American Traveler, just re- turned from Europe, meeting friend on the street Hello, Smith, you must come and see my pictures. 1 know you're quite acom- mon sewer in such things, and you would just revel in ‘em, old feller.” Smith—** Thanks, Should be delighted to, Some old masters among the lot, I suppose.” 1. A, T.—‘* Old? yes, I should say so. Why, some of ’em are'so old you can hardly make out what they are, ~ Got a super! ‘Moonlight’ by Pinxit.” A New York man has patented a helmet for the protection of reputable citizens who ! are liable to be exposed to policemen’s clubs. comicbooks.com