Judge — May 2, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THE ROAD. How the Boys “Went Broke” in Detroit on Eggs, Sleight-of-Hand and Faro.—Some Games can Beat even a Drummer. ROWN and Cusby “* went broke” in Detroit, and we three were left stranded over Sun- day when, uccord- ing to programme, ve should have been in Chi Our trouble came about in this wav: We had been to the theatre to se as I remember, Alice Oates, or it may have been Fanny Louise Buckingham—at any rate it was sc star who had appeared on Spar- ticus’ off nights before Roman populace at the Colusium. We hourded # street car to return to the hotel and found the vehicle quite full, there bei stand- ing room only. Gus Casby and another fel- low stood opposite an old woman who had in her lap a large bas- tofeggs. Now Gus pos- sessed of no little skill in sleight of hand, which talent he de- lighted ‘in displaying for the amusement of himself and friends. He chuckled ashe looked at the man next him, and then at the hen fruit, for he saw achance to play a jok “See here, young fello he exclaimed presently, fiercely frowning at his neighbor, “can't you leave the old’ lady’s eggs alone’ “What's that? Are you talk- ing tome?” said the stranger in surprise “Tsay, leave the woman's eggs alone. I saw you take one from the basket just now and patit in your right over-coat pocket.” OTe lie,” Gus* head. “Oh, it is, is it,” grasping his wrist hand, and with striking out for with ¢ the other drawing an of the man’s pocket. What y all that? Don'tdo it’ again, my dear sir,” he went on, restoring the egg the old lady's basket and winking at Brown and me. ‘The fellow looked a bit sheepish, and the passengers stared. nuly Gus broke out with: * You're atit again. — You took two that Lime, and here they both are in the other pocket. ‘This sort of thing is hen-ious.” ‘Then the old lady pat in her say, treating the poor man to an awful tongue lashing, while the other engers grinned, He couldn’t stand the racket. He made for the door and disappeared. ‘Then the woman, turning to Cusby, thanked him at such length that we reached our corner before she had fully relieved her grateful hea “How much time have we, ¢ as we entered the house. Cusby felt for his watch—it wasn’t there. he shrieked, ‘it’s gone. I’ve for asucker.—It’s gone—wa out do you ’” Tasked, THE JUDGE. | locket and chain—all gone.” On further investigation he f only had his ch, ete., been stolen, but also his money. While he had been playing the egg trick, the other fellow had gone through him and taken his pocket-book, not leaving him the price of a cocktail, even, Now, Gus Cusby considered himself, and with reason, about as fly a man as there on the road, and this event so ‘tphazed” him that he hadn’t enough spunk left to quote the scripture lesson usually aired on such occasions. He dropped into a chair and sat like a bump on a log, perfectly speechless. I felt sure the property was gone beyond recovery, and suggested packing up and get- ting out of town by the train we had arranged to take, but Josh insisted on going out to look for the crook. He knew the town pretty well and felt. confident that he could come up with hisman, Gus wouldn’t either fish, cut bait, or g Ife had found his tongn y this time, and was kicking phorically speaking, ind that not himself, for keeps. The legendary whangdoodle on the mountains of Hepsidam never monrned over the loss of her first-born as did Gus Cusby, not for his watch and money, but for his lost reputation. “Boys,” he wailed, “carry me out and plant me decently, I have no right to live. Tam an ass and the son of an ass, Josh, my friend, stab me to the heart with your um- brella and send me to Abraham's bosom.” Don't take on so, old fellow,” Josh said consolingly, ‘TH go out and find your plunder or my name isn’t Brown.” So saying he pulled his hat over his eyes, asped his umbrella and left ns, while poor continued to berate himself. “TIL go off the road,” he declared, not even fit to run a kindergarten.” “Tm “Brace up, Gus” L pat in, “Josh will find that chap and you'll feel better after you ave licked him, Your self-respect will re- turn.” * Lick that fellow,” he returned almost in tears, I couldn't lick a postage-stamp. 5 With his little finger that lally-cooler could send me where the the woodchuck chucketh, if he were only half my size—” and so on for nearly an hour when he subsided from sheer exhaustion and we were both silent. 1 heard a deep groan behind me aftera bit, and turning beheld our Joshua. ‘The same, but still not the same, fellow who had left us in good shape an hour ago, This Josh was decidedly a job lot. _ His eyes were blacked to the Queen’s taste. His nose had been tapped, as his shirt and collar showed, and his clothes were torn, Ile was hatless and carried a broken cotton umbrella in his hand. | “ By all that is good and great, my poor n. tell us who knocked you out?’ 1 ex- imed **Cusby’s crook and his friends,” he re- | plied mournfully.“ Confession is. good for {the soul. Ask me no questions, but listen. HT plead guilty to being even a more rank chump than Gus here. Lam awreck, I shall drum no more, I have fallen so low in my own esteem that I think I shall try to find a berth as a bookkeeper. Mark my disgrace. Yes, Cus- by’s egg man and his pals did me up. You see I had an idea that I should find my man at Copper’s faro game, for I re- membered he got off opposite. I went there directly. He was there and playing with Cu good money, I'suppose. (Gr from Gus). I bought some chips and took place opposite him, It’s a tough den, you know, and I couldn't tackle him there. I wanted to catch him as he left the house. He layed, I played. He in big; I in hard lick. ! got interested and lost all my chips. Bought Lost Got mad. umbrella Well, I nd, says I some more and lost them, all the cash I had. silk You know my with a silver hi turned to the de: everything — go ‘Of cours ays he. ‘Then T put the parachute on the ace. He dealt. he ace split. He took mine and handed me this beastly affair. The gang yelled with delight, and Cusby’s) man says: That's worse than eggs.” Lord! Iwas hot. I reached across the table and broke this thing over his head. of | course, the whole crowd turned on me then, wiped the floor with me, then gave me the grand bounce, and here Iam. Lend meaquarter, Lang. I must have some coflin varnish his sort of thing 1s enough to drive a cigar Indian to drink, and keep him full till the hornets nest again. LANG. A Natural Mistake. ‘The story circulated that Ferdinand Ward was missing from his ward in Ludlow street jail, and was supposed to aped, until he was found “in the kitchen chatting with the cook,” is officially denied. — The story probably grew out of th t that the cook was consulting the spirit of Sam Ward—the late noted epicure and gastric persuader of congressmen, diplomats and tinanciers—re garding the best spread for his new distin- guished guest, Mr, Fish. Ferdinand Ward, it is understood, does not now help to set things up for Mr, Fish. comicbooks.com