Judge — May 2, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Caused our B For though he had on He had some dollars less, His daughter, fixi Came up his yard, loa sudden st She found she had no po Though had a seedy pop. Our Editor bought a music box And paid for it must be, For he said no money should be owed. Wi je he had an Le. g Regulations for City Builders. As there seems to be considerable variance Letween the building laws as formulated on the statute books and those laws as practically construed and enforced by the Building Department of the City of New York, Tue JupGe deems it advisable to inform its readers what is expected of them when building in this city. ‘The following rules have not yet been officially adopted by the Board, but’ as they seem to be in acti operation, und to have been entirely satisfactory to our officials, we look to sce them soon formally published. I. No building is to be erected or altered without permission of Building Department and filing plans therewith, II. Responsible, reputable builders, are to conform strictly to such plans, but irrespon- sible parties 1 modify at convenience. III. Such parties must give notice to the Board of intended violations, that inspectors may not inadvertently interfere. IV. No employe of the Department is al- lowed to take bribe: It as hoped that nothing further need be said on this point. Human nature is weak. Do not tempt us. V. All bricks used in building shall be soft, lest citizens be injured by hard brick when the building falls. VI. No building shall be erected in suam- mer on swampy ground, but only in. winter when the ground is frozen; in case of warm weather coming on before the building is finished and sold, ice shall be applied to the cellar walls to prevent untimely melting. VII. Wallsfor buildings of over five storics shall be at least two inches thick, laid in good loam and water, free from lime, sand, or hair; broken bricks to be turned endwise to bind the walls. No wall is to be built solidly with bricks, but spaces are to be filled with shavings, dirt, bits of wood or other firat class refuse, to be approved by the inspector (fee for approval $5). ery gang | chase of a new house shall be requi | promptly do so before the approach of warm weather, lest the frost get out of the foun- dation and walls and the building collapse. Should such injury result, said intending purchaser shall compensate the builder to the full amount of the purchase money, and further to whatever sum said builder shall consider fair and reasonable compensati | for injury to his feelings and reputation a further sum of $1,000,000 to be divided among the employes of the Building De- partment. XII. If by any possibility any tenement or bought a building lot, house erected in this city last long enough {soon appear, to be actually occupied by tenants, feather A portico was out in front— | beds shall be placed in the cellar for them to {land on when the collapse occurs, and all | ambulances and hook-and-ladder companies He modelled all his walks und lawn shall be at once placed in telephonic connec- Exactly to his mind, | tion with said house, and ready to respond He kept his shanty clear in front— | instantly. The city, of course, to pay all His Lenery behind, bills. + XII. Should any innocent investor pur- chuse any honse erected under these rule: trusting to the supposed guarantee of the Building Department, he shall at once be required to tear down said building. Eprror is a powerful man, A man of mickle mind, y work marches on— ry fell behind ‘The taxes in arrear. Our Editor holds umbrellas Over pretty irls in storms; He says he likes their figures, Though he isn’t fond of orms,”” And when they ask bim eut to tea Our Editor is shy; And though he always ta He cannot stand the “pi Rebellion at Last. The late gale that swept from the North brought to our ears the clash of a resounding For though he's fond of ancient lore Fevolt. against “* Huckleberry Finn.” It His motto still is, “ Higher!” started at Concord, ‘* the cradle of liberty,” wan and is in a state of active eruption from - Faneuil Hall. The embattled trustees of Concord library stood and fired the shot heard round the world, and the Boston Advertiser sounded the call to arms against the tyrant, ‘Twain. It is the ‘corroding es the cake, Good readers all, with one accord Our editor adn re, of bricklayers shall be provided with asmall boy to hold up the wall when they are at work upon it, and no wall shall be left at night without leaning a shovel or other sup- port against it. In windy weather a suita- element of burlesque” that is rebelled agai ble person shall be employed to hold an and all Boston culchaw and Concord ph umbrella as a protection against the build- phy are up in arms inst th limy trail of ing blowing down, the vulgar humor ‘There’s talk that the VIII. Floor beams shall extend at least one next cargo of Mark ‘Twain's works that ap- sixty-fourth of an inch upon the supporting pears there with the odious tax of his regu- walls. They shall Le not less in dimensions far subscription rates attached, will than an ordinary lead pencil, and shall beof dumped into Boston Harbor, fresh unseasoned lumber approved by in- — Jeig well, and the revolt is bound to spread. spector (feo $10); wherever chunks of ice Noe that America is too poor to pay ‘Twain's are used to support floor beams, said ice tux, America, thank God and protection, is shall be dressed and plumbed, and free from Jick, “Tut the right to charge iffty cents for snow or flaws, Floors shall be laid close Vfuckleberty Finn,” imphes the right to enough to prevent any child of over two years charge 8100 for something that is original jalling between the Doardes und at least SX and “funny of Mark ‘Cwain’s, and sink or nails shall bo used in each floor, Chimney swim, liveor die, survive or perish, America flues may be of wood or other approved ma- jon. terial, Windows shall be plate glass; mane MSN tad ee tels of plate marbles and each ‘room shall The rest of the country, indeed, may not have picture rods and electric bells, under £0 $9 far in the movement as Boston; may penalty of a fine not less than $5,000,000 or Bt swear to boycott al! American fun, $00 yexca immprisoncient coarse, corroding und slimy. — The IX. No building more than fifteen fect out Spartan. spirit isseveral | pounds, to the of the perpendien lag shall be considered hess. my eee te ita than th | reasonably plumb or safe, unless,declared eo Where. | We cannot expect the rest of the by the inspector; and no building sodeclared | gountry fo be ‘mute, uD. to labghing at to be safe shall full down within less than | oo pny 10g ; 4 | oe tion as to read the Aautic Monthly. But thirty days. | : 4 |X. All rows of + buildi hall be | the colonies can be depended on to draw the sabes PONS. OF TOW OUNCES: 6Dn line at Mark Twain until he repeals his erected adjoining some old building, against | odious prices. A tax on a people's reading | which to lean. Should any old building not | 2'the most henious of allexketoone, as it. | be strong enongh, it shall be declared to | 9 duty upon men’s intelligence, and hence a violate the law, and its owner be required to | tay upon what often docs’ not exist, and is strenghten it satisfactorily to the Board, | always without representation in such works under penalty of $100,000 fine. Bors eut- a Mark Twain's ting initials on walls of new buildings, ae == thereby undermining said buildings, shall be hung. The playing of ball against such building, to the imminent risk of upsetting it, shall be punished by $500,000 fine and 100 yeara imprisonment. XI. Any person contemplating the pur- De Cam is the name of one of the exhib- itors in the American Art Association. There are many artists who would like to when their board bills are presented, comicbooks.com