Judge — April 25, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE, JUDGE. || ON THE ROAD. in charge was questionin os particularly about’ the The Social Attentions Paid to Brown, Cusby e,while x ; Oh yes, | have been to his house very | & Lang, in Toledo—The Spell often,” “I said confidently, in answer to a Snatched by bribe ghoul— | of a Great Name. question, “A very delightful place, situated | {fatto Brown,” exclaimed a in the heart of the city. The house is very | corned individual, staggering 1 , large and is surrounded by more than sixty | 2 hat ure vou doing in my house, atd-wl of Messe, Brown, Cusby "acres of woodland. A. teibat HOt wayonapiuting?@ at edo are, I think, worthy of the Harlem flows through his un SDBUNg! snd Thad been in favor of | Greenwood Cemetry cat be plainly seen fr : deal Se ok turn, ner did heshesitatey bat at the Chalkup House, bat Brown | his front piazza. Yes, he has quite a family, | C°NTBUCE MS eheertul recitation. ected on the ground that a few years enteen children, all under twelve years of i le fad ‘been unable ie fares ith the age, and one wife. He employs thirty-four rk as to dating his hotel bill abeac 1 be i} nm comipellept to submit to the in arting by the fire escape. he went on, ‘TI cannot in for the debt is not j the uncommon name of Brown will give me dead away dire appears on the register.” “If you register some other fellow’s nam you will have no trouble,” I sugg “Why not write yourself down Washington Childs, of Philadelphia? good name. Who the dence is he?” they both ask I told them all [ knew of the great obituary poet—which wasn’t mach—and halfan hour later Mr. Joshua Brown placed the honored name of the Philadelphia Ledger man on record as his own. The next morning Brown found im his mail a dainty note whereby he was informed that certain Mrs, Graves had learned with pleasure through the newspaper r ports of dis 1 arrivals that Mr. ¢ the city and be; nUeman to honor her house with his presence that evening to meet a few of his most ardent admirers. Boys, I'll te blessed if G. W.C. don’t accept this invite, aid, as he handed | the note over to Gus » persistently and | Wieldedd by one in black at obituary poet And gory probe, to carve and hack | | The casket of the soul, From its last resting place toot so w MH attunes tells me t we city are, asa ru nenemploved | tL own, you jolly old coffin-ped- ; more satisfae- | dler d the drank, staggering up nmen. His wife, too, isof the former | te dosh, and taking him by thearm, “ what's . he is proficient in many languages, | all this about palls and stiffs? You ought some more than others, but he not talk shoy a vit ean play a good game of draw “Madam Brown poker in all of th sadly pas firmly, “turning to || I don’t know what further Mre. Graves who was wrath- || statements [ should have made fully ‘“ ring at the new- || under pressure had our conver- comer ave never met 5h 1 continued but we this man who has so rudely were interupted by the call to interupted me; but if he isa anjiper: friend of yours, | would sug- i he gest that “Mr. Lang and Dr. | | Cushy would willingly apply the usual restorative “and put the inebriated gentleman to bed. ** What's that,” howled the the intruder, ‘put me to bed—” “John Graves, 1 am ashamed of you! Be quiet, and you gentlemen,” said our || hostess to Gus and me, ‘will ob! me greatly by acting as Mr. Childs } si Did we act bor any rate, were ve und the supper was ve he champagne had been Well I In vain did he im ieved = Mr, Childsand declare ina mighty voice that as phin Josh Brown he had sold the und taking firm of Tomb & Grav a big bill that afternoon. We waltzed him out of the room, and yanked him up the — || stairs, Hebitand kicked inthe lower hall, and quoted scrip- ture on the way up, but when, we got him into the bathroom and held his bald head under the sprinkler for five minutes ordingly at a proper hour, correctly | excellently iced and there was lots of it. | his tune turned toa howl for merey. But arrayed in evening . Which we had Brown, I'think, appreciated its quality and | we held him there until he swore a solemn rented, we repai Tto Mrs Graves’ elegant absorbe: an elegant sufficiency, for when he oath by all an undertaker considers holy, house, where we were received, Cusby and I presently ‘importuned to recite one that be would go quietly to bed and rise no cordially, Brown deferentially. Josh pre- his own (Mr. Child's) he did more that nizht under the penalty of still dus to the lady—Cusb; a noted not excuse himeelf, as he ought in all ri more generous hydropathic treatment, medical scientist, and myself as a distin- and common sense to have done, but | For obvious reasons we departed from that ‘ished connoisseur in modern art. By Mrs. rather unsteadily to his feet and delivered | house with the greatest alacrity consistent a aves we were then introduced to the ardent | himself as follow: with our borrowed dignity and ‘importance, admirers aforesaid, ladies and gentlemen to Irs. Graves, ladies and gentlemen, I| and let meadd, too, that we took mighty good the number of twenty, perhap. can call to mind nothing of my own suited | care not to miss onr train that night. Josh was immediately appropriated by to this joyous occasion, and so with your 1. Le LANG. our hostess and carried away to a. secluded gracious’ permission, will improvise some- : corner. Gus was cornered byalankygentle- thing really light and cheerful.” Perfectly Correct. man, sallow and sixty, who proved tobe oneof | All present ‘having rapturously permitted, those cranks who think and talk of theirown our talented associate gave us the following “and you fellows mu: T'll introduce you as friends, Wel we for Detroit at I| : in the morning and if things go wr n't be here to- stand the racket. see “TL WENT up to see the plan of Mrs. I tholomew Jones’ house the other da bodily ills and the cures therefor, and sub- lines, which I have every reason to delieve aid || sist on pills and powders, were composed then and there | Brown to his friend onthe streetcar, “She In the intervals of the spirited conversation Restrain, thou, jail, the snatcher. was very enthusiastic about her new in:prove- | maintained between myself und a loquocious Who would stiff vilely steal ments and so on, and told me the gem of the | if little of what Gus was saying. In vain may Gabriel's trumpet call whole house would be a bea ul spinal allow man asked Dr. Augustus Cusby From cerement and pall , | | to diagnose his case, I gathered, and desired Our flesh atairente, 11a, he, | | ribe for his ills, Well, him to pr This Gus If. in the burker’s mesh Simpkins— doing—first relieving his man of a ten dol \ rubber sack, onr substance then be held | Temarkably funny abo note by way of fee. The lady who had me For surgeons’ knife, meant her lack is comicbooks.com