Judge — April 25, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| — — PUNLISIED ONCE A WEEK TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. py. for Single copte THE JUDGE PUBLISHING 324, al COMPANY, 923 Pearl St, NEW YORK. TO CORRESPONDENTS AND CONTRIBUTERS. Fer CommrsreyesTe wit rurase rau THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART Tue French satirist who said ** Ameri- cans have forty religions and only one should now see our and grow- ing cate It includes the Democratic, Republican, Greenback, David Davis, Labor, Anti-Monopoly, Mug- wump, Prohibition, Female Suffr: Ben. Butler, God-in-the-Constitution, Conkling, Anti-Masonic, John Swinton, ef cefera, And now there is added Cleveland party. ory of political parties. to the list the Perhaps the time sas ripe for the launch- It is said that the only issues of the old parties were offices and nothing be- Cleveland rose to ing of anew party. there wi Mr. the splendid conception of substituting him- men, not measures; tween the purtie self for the vacuum, and of reforming the Democratic party by putting it in his pocket. It was reformation by absorption and assimi- lation. Public plunder was to stick to the man instead of to the party; it personal agglutination in_ pls of the organization. was to be eof cohesion A man of less singleness of purpose might ning—for himself. A man of less frank and charming selfishness, even if he had decided to treat the enormous not have seen this op patronage of the New York post-office as his d his personal sup- ve hesitated to de- just perquisite to rews porters withal, might clare his intentions, From the time that the Buffalo bailiff bounced into the Washington ring with his ante-inauguration message, until the ap- THE JUDGE. pointment of Pearson, every non-partisan, — If the pronunciamento of Here we ct has been was the goism—like the clown’s re again’’—the latter was the and official proclamation of the spoils policy of the new potentate, “To the Victor belong the spoils,” is Democracy 3 construed by egoism. ‘To Mr. Cleveland is former act definitive the distinction of | having risen above party to the level of personal a; To treat the func- tions and emoluments of a representative overnment as the personal property of the President is not strictly reform polities, but Mr. Cleveland might he might have administered the government, as all his Democratic predecessors 1n office have done, for benefit of the Democratic It isan improvement in so far as the party to be benefitte Butfalo, is better than the average of the Democratic party. ‘The country therefore experienced relief when he frankly declared hi¢ intention to administer his high office andizement, have done worse the party. the ex-sherifl of “for the benefit of whom it’ may concern,” and kindly left no room for doubt as to who. is the ‘* whom. This is not the first and only original Moses of our politics; but the pure, Arcadian selfishness of his policy is uniqu Other self-seckers, with broader natures and flashes of patriotism, have based their enterprises on political principles, and recognized other interests than their own. ** And there,” as Uncle Remus says, * is whar dey broke deir molasses jugs. Mr. Cleveland avoids all such mistaken concessions to the demands of party, individuals or country, Tis course s clear; his policy simple; his party coberent and well organizs “He is true to one y, and that is himself.” He is not a Democrat, nota Republican, not a Reformer, sifiable. He is aCleveland st, and all the time. par not anything man, first, The coming man has come. Vire la all our mother's children We And when we are provided for ‘The devil take t ourselves the best, rest OUR FEATHERLESS BIPED. Tur plucked rooster which the Cynic produced as a definition of man—“a feather- less biped”—was the ante-type of our gone- to-seed national defences. The condition of the army and navy, after the hundreds of mil- lions spent on them, is a sarcastic comment on representative misgovernment—or would be but for the fact that other nations find their defences as expensive and deceptive things to manage as we do ours. Our childish forefathers would feel grati- fied to see how free we are from ‘ the perils to our liberties of a standing army,” if they did not know what it cost us to keep the old bird’s tail-feathers pulled ont, its wings plucked, and its claws on a peace We have really no inducement to maintain the sham establishments in their present burlesque condition, except the grat- ification of knowing that we have an army of glittering generalities, and an aristocracy of navy officers at Washington, whose grandeur is the only feature of our civilization that prevents an citizens from hanging their heads when they contemplate the dec- basis. Ameri orated donkies and gorgeous flunkies of for- eign courts. Well, we have “a nucleus,” anyway— two of ’em,—and if an arrogant foe dare threaten we know that the American citizen will numerously rally from his peaceful pursuits and save the neuclei and the country together. Long may the neucler pride and boast. “Why don’t your pa put a fence around his lot?” asked a gamin of a rich man’s son. “What's the use? Pigs ain’t allowed in the street, and everybody knows we can afford a fence if we want one.” be our Their Only Foe. Whes the brand administration sought to distinguish itself by turning the U.S. navy over to the Pavific Mail Steamship company for the defence of the latter's Isth- mius property, it probably did not take into punt the real enemy the boys in blue would e to meet. arrios is dead and the insurrection ended, but the spectre of Pana- ma is still there. If the U. S. marines long have to do duty as railroad guards, they will find a deadlier enemy than the whole Central American population. — Between miasm without and medicine within, they will find it no holiday excursion. The balls they fire into themselves, and. the powders they charge themselves with, are the de- structive agencie new and no hollow equare withstand the charge of the spectre leg of the Isthmus. Financial Romancing Discounted. | Tue new Secretary of the Treasury, it is announced, has issued his order banishing all works of fiction from the department. This bars out all the writing against bi- metalism and most of the financial literature extant. Among the most sensational of the romances thus rejected will be that startling work of imaginative art which has been ran- ning in eastern journals continuously since 1879, entitled: “THE BUZZARD AND THE CALF; THE HORRORS OF HARD MON A TALE OF DAY APTER To-MORROW. OR, Tuey are already talking about Mr. Cleve- land’s successor. We suspect Miss Cleveland is the one. She divides women and men into the two classes—‘‘ the boosters and the boosted.” She must be Grover’s successer. No other Mascot has appeared. comicbooks.com