Judge — April 18, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE, Not an Advertising Dodge. A WELI-KNOWN grocer in the ‘Spice Distric West Side, sloughed off with the Mugwumps last fall, consequently feels it incumbent on his self-resp to applaud everything * Our Grover” does. Reading the executive appointments, lately, he was heard to exclaim: “By hokey! that’s a good advertisement man’s Mustard. S"pose he caught the President on his weak points—table delicacies. Good appointment, too.” Who is it?” inquired his partner. “Why, Coleman, the chap that Cleve- land’s made the Commissioner of Agricul- ture.” “Oh, that isn’t the mustard man. That’s a St, Louis feller. Don’t believe he ever so much as raised a mustard seed. He's not 4 g smart enough.” = ALS “Well, what sort of a pull did he have on aes : AF the President, then!” 09 wot hey? C - ae “Give it up. o mustard, though, un- lead aa zi 4 less the draught was applied to him and he | was mustered into the Confederate service.” IMPRESSIONS OF CENTRAL PARK. Of course, the Mugwump Merchant didn’t sce any joke. How could he? HUBADUBRUBBISH. | How many beans make five, and why such aliment She Found Her Man. Both psychical and physical—the primal cause of | We e felt t z — matter, Tue mysteries of the universe, the origin of forces— ‘“ Sue cried for succor, and I went to her why of this and wherefore, and of this and that aid,” he said as he pulled out his empty the sources, bh. tra la! pockets. We trace with patient ardor and much metapbysic ‘or braius with entire unanimity, e¥, nd by the looks of things I should chatter, is philosophy’s b think she found one,” was all the comfort And the party or the person that no love has for We care not for t savwo woarr, | be got. the occult, We set down party or a person having no cult Hubadu We soar am alities On the wings of Philosophy far Away from the realms of realities. ‘The ‘1’ of me, what is it? or the * We’ of us Which is all in all—the sum of cause—with | mixed and mystic, We pursue to its rec to the deepest abyss we In search of Truths which we display in exeays altruistic We prove—'mo: lots of other things—that dif ferentiation Of nebulistic atoms makes the force of generation Hubadubrubbish, tra lat fearless tackle infinity, anything short of a star We neglect as too near our vicinity “Ie: what is the ‘Js, and what the reason of * Ieness’ 2 rious action from the ‘was’ has it unanswered, show the colleges’ their ability to solve the things that (You will find the subject settled in an essay by Miss Whycaus, Section 1x., cor. 2. page 90 on The Microcosms of Psychos" ) Hubadubrubbish, tra la! We have ittle of vanity, Althe h well aware that we are The wisest and best of humanity. A BUSY BUMMER. German—** Dimes vas bat, don’t it?” Bem—** Why, I'm busy all day.” We know—and do not let this fact escape your Genwax—* How vas dot?” recollections— Bum—*'Half the day getting drunk, and the other half O, we can solve the riddle of the Sphinx or of the ages! comicbooks.com