Judge — March 14, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. INDUSTRY AND 5. DOCTOR RECOMMENDS WALKING 6. WALK, WALK, SMALLER, PRET BIGE ALL THE TIME. TRAD GETS opinions, and will t leasure to dig for field mice. — In person he is lean without being fat, and far-seeing without being short sighted. He is so fi and outspoken that he makes no bones of ying his ribs, which are, on the whole, | bs the most prominent trait in his character. Though a cautious reasoner, he is somewhat slow at arriving at results, bat when he gets there he is prompt in hunting himself a dark hole where no fleas torment. Though hungry all the time he is never at a loss for an appetite. Thi Bismarck’s | organ of veneration is well developed, it is, on | the whole, inferior in size to t ‘Trinity Church, and he never allows the cats play on it. ‘Though his exterior may seem forbidding (owir the ruggedness of his bark) his withinness is always at home, and he ever has a warm place in his stomach for broken down victuals; for the chicken that has lost its mother; for the erring lamb that has strayed from the flock. Bismarck seems | to have no political principles whatever and is bold and fearless in avowing them. Daring the excitement of the late campaign, though, he chased a Butler elector up a butterwood tree and tore the entire seat out of the trousers of one of Sr. John’s disciples, yet, when there was no longer any doubt that the Democrats had won, our hero remained about as hungry | as usual. As for his opinions on the tariff, he never smokes and never swears—but really INDISPOSITION. 7. PERT INCREASE IN SIZE ALAIOMINOLY, FEARFUL AND DEMOMALIZING BEING TOO INDUSTRIOUS AND OF TAKEN EXERCISE, RESULT oP Too MCU narck we cheerfully turn over to. the » hand of the fresh reporter, and th tender mercies of the Ba maker. benevole In the Dentist's Chair. “That was frightfal torture that underwent to-day at the dentist's.” ‘What did he have don “Ife had one of his false teeth pulled.” China’s Next Ruler. Wuat distin; when you were abroad? f Dobbs, on her return from Ch “Oh, lots of them. But took my faney was Wan Lun sumptive to the throne. people did yon see asked of Mrs, Mixed All Around. “Ma, can you get out of your skin?” “Why, mercy, no, my child. Why do you a ? ° “Well, [heard Pa tell another man that when he comes home nearly every night, he finds you beside yourself. I don’t. under- stand it, do you vo, my child, but I think your fi | Brown | want to meet er | pint, the finger Allin the Interest of Economy. Fatner—‘ What do you mean by sti out till midnight every All in the interest of cconomy, sir, ‘Economy! What do you mean “Son—* Well, you see I’m a good deal of expense to you, sir. I haven't got the money to pay board, but by keeping out of bed till twelve or one o'clock I save you a good deal in lodging.”—Ex. By the Moonlight. ho said, as he tried to tickle the chin, “why am like the ou are not like the moon, John Henry, in any particular.” ‘Why, how do you make that out, my “Because the moon has been full but twice this month.” 8 that isn’t the right answer,—.Vew- man Independent. The Missing Link. Tie clerks at Moses Rabbenstein’s were making up a box of old clothes to give toa certain. poor miss “LH put in a co: +Til put ina pa aid a third. Finally they red “What will you putin, M asked the book Vell, poy der Dill. bbenstein keupe dimes hart vid me, ou, VIL yoost raveler. — Merchant A Late Discovery. I wet him on Canal street, New Orle i » up to me us [ was lean r-post, and asked: I wanted to find some- “No, bothered “Well? * Well, I've been for the last thirteen a month and board. not yet. See here, ’'m_pizenly a hired man in Elanoy I'v 1 just hinder filled up, restaurant—just about hi just ‘nuff to piteh hay or he id what dy ler, or about onth is twelve times that is A hundred a Thirteen month, ed ay about $15,001 “Sav, [ll beg atepped on, if Th durned aristocrats a gosh-tired monopoli years, without knowin $15,000 worth of fodder! baked ve n't be forever th and none 0” from IHlanoy and ial independence to we are getting out of breath, and what is left ' will.” | him!”"—Detroit J comicbooks.com