Judge — February 28, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A sharp point— A sound point—a triangle’s. An old point—the north pole. Ane i \ good point—a church st A strong point—a cheese knife’s. A hidden point—the pin in the sofa. A sure point—Montreal (for cashier: A poor point—}4)"This way to the alms- hou No point—the circus joke. ‘The prettiest ear de biggest diamond. sm’t always hold the » ill-wind that blows no one good. e growing in size, and newspaper iptions are booming Josh J How he ped retribution’ all these years is a mystery that many puling para- graphers are’ pondering. | Bustle subse Billings is has esc “Tiny conversation” is now the fashion- able phrase for ‘ 1 tal In this case adude’s remarks must have to be hunted for with a microscope. Prof. Huxley says a properly de man weighing one iund dand fift yous consumes twenty-two thousar hundred grains of wate ious, what 1 Pi eloped four nine ood gras A COOL Mr. Peuteraarn (to burglar) Buretan—** For instance, though Paris gives the pst satisfaction in spring and summer suits, Chicago gives the best in divorce suits. An eminent writer says that irregular eating at restaurants is becoming a fruitful source of dyspepsia in our cities. ‘That's the reason tramps and editors are so aflicted with the disease, The price of nails has been raised. Women will now be more careful, when they hammer, not to mash in their thumb nail: instead of the spike they aim at. Connecticut boasts a woman who wears a No. 9 shoe, but as there is hardly room enough in the little state for her to tramp | around without injuring other inhabitants, there is serious talk of exporting her to Chi An English doe move his ears s cannot be trusted. person is not sin nd does. says a person who can uspicious character, and n other words, sucl raraurally ear-nest in w [One of these in a box. ] A man named Smith Jones has been found frozen stiff in Virginia. live in anyhow, and when a man with sach a name ventures so far from civilization, he might expect Nature would tunity to take some revenge for having her creations labelled so outrageously. Don’t judge a woman by her bonnet, my boy. It is singular, but it is true, that the smaller, the sweeter, the more modest, and the more unassuming a the more outrageously wonderful is the r she sports. It is the only way in which the dear little ture can flaunt defiant ind in the public eye, and she improv the opportunity to the utmost uttermost. TOM Appts. e extra e of Cleve. Ball which will be given away ge.” with the next « hould | Mr. to the unwary s r when you visit Cleveland offer you a him, don’t construe th: an invitation to A worp aseat in his Cabinet. ET OFF. m touted too, und had better yo off first.” It’s a bad state to | eize the oppor- | * t of courtesy into | | grapher, I'll simply ask him ¢ “Jef. Joslyn’s"” Prospective Periodical. EVER | ‘my comes in” from over the 8 den with cash assets, Aur WW 1 am going to start an alleged humorous weekly, entitled Jef. Jos- lyn's Jovial Journal. I will have openings on the paper’s stall for one poet, # paragrapher, an artis vertising solicitor, and the usual Bouncer.” h applicant, however, must be qualified for the positions noted abov I shall rigidly examine them, as follow (Imagine the Pegasian perpetrator in the Editorial den, and your humble servant ad- dressing him). “And so, Mr. M. Fillmore Jenkinson, you wish to become the Journal's Star m: nipulator of Muses! Well, I prithee sit thee down, and dash off a sample of your versifying ability for instance, take that old tim worn with many changes, the “ F male Accident ” with the t, second, ird lines commencing r ship one ad ** Oflice well and »—and see what you cun make of it. factory, you'll be engaged at the re ensaish nd fifty cents per week from this Wind up the crank of thy poetic brain, and let thy rustling, rythmic quill slide!” ‘ow suppose he flounders through, and submits something of this Th Who wasn't very w But tried to steal her And‘ why, he would be rej on the spot. But, if he gives mea sereed after this order, his name goes down on the pay-roll at one Th an old | Who went out ti Bi ster’s beau, scratched out her eyes cted as incompetent y named Blair, ride on a mare; her equine reared up, And then back o'er its erup Per, she fell wrong side up—without care!" for you see, no snoozer can be a Metrical Muldoon of the unless he with the **te-ump racket, As regards the one dollar per diem para- question, viz: ‘* What are the stock-jokes of a proficient “phunny man’ on a comic publication comicbooks.com