Judge — February 14, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE ADVANCE OF CIVILIZATION. The Nevada scheme is a taking one—with the horse, and a patent has been applied for dollars,” he continued. ‘* Now I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll give you two hundred, if you'll give the thing to some African or Fiji sland missionary society, or will dispose of it in some way, that I may never see it, or hear of it again.” So saying he resumed his reading, while Mrs. Kensington sat gazing at him, in speech- | less amazement. “Good Heavens,” she thought, the man is mad, and a commission de lunatico ingui- rando will next be sitting on him, I suppose. | Then a few tears began to trickle from her eyes, and to full on the crazy quilt she still held in her lap. She soon found her voice again, and again asked her husband if he were demented. “Certainly not,” he again replied calmly. | This unusual calmness was alarming. | “Then what do you mean, and why do | you say this quilt cost upwards of two thous- | and dollars?” she inquired. | « Because figures won't lie,” he answered. Then he took from his pocket a slip of paper, which he handed her, and on which she read as follows: COST OF MNS. KENSINGTON'S CRAZY-QUILT. | 25 00 100 00 To materials for making the same To seamstress for doing plain sewing } while Mrs. K. was engaged on quilt § To surgeon for sprained ankle, caused by slipping on the ice while shopping | for pieces =!) To physician for long ille: medical parlance nervous and caused by over-work To trip south afterward To oculist for injury done to eyes by } too much fine ‘neédlework “fs To Physician and nurse for little Alice, | while sick with scarlet fever ‘ 100 00 ed in ) rostration, 500 00 600 00 150 00 300 00 $1775 00 he inquired Total (to date) “What do you think of it?” when she had finished reading it. “T think you are an unfeeling wretch,” | | the pride of her life, her crazy quilt that she answered, burstin enough for you to lay ull my sic quilt without placing Alice’s scarlet fever to my account. “Well, the doctor thinks she can have taken the disc Smith swapped sampl Mrs. Smith sent you her pieces while her children were ill with scarlet fever. Alice played with those pieces and in a few days she was taken sick. Do you require more proc vo Tdon’t,”’ she exclaime Iv. Tve suflicient proof of everything, Mr. Kensing- ton, even to the fact that you’re a brute and 1 ‘unfeeling wretch as [said before,” and she swept from the room bearing in her hands | ud brought nothing but trou! to the house ever since she first commenced it. “T'll never do another piss of fanc as long as I live,” she sobbed as stairs, “If she only never would,” thought Mr. nsington, The quilt has disappeared from view, but between Mr. Kensington and his wife there has sprung up acoldness that not a dozen quilts could warm, and Mrs. K. is now at work mannfacturing an imitation Turkish rug. Her fingers are blistered and she nervous and fretful, but the rug will finished even if the indefatigable woman finishes herself and her family at the same time. -work ne Went up F, CUTTER. “Toa book; the contents alone interests me.’ This noble and scholarly remark expresses to a‘‘t” the sentiments of the tramp who left old Coupon’s greasy twenty-five cent pocket book lying on the grass in the back yard while he appropriated the five hundred dollar contents. nothing about the appearance of a nd expense in- | The Political Song of the Shirt. Writ fingers weary and worn, With eyelids heavy and red, Democ at, in political rags, Plying er needle and thread. — Stitch! stitch! stiteh! In poverty, hunger and dirt; still with a voice of dolorous pitch She sang the g of the Shirt.” Work! work! Tam “hungry and thirsty” too; Work! work! work? While twenty-four y Ku-Klux, and Free Trade and whiskey, and gint Republicans now are out for a time,— For four years at least we're int Work! work! rs I review; — nurder, and crime work! work! labor never flags; work! work! . Grover! there's plenty to ¢ Merely trash! But sincerely I say Iam sorry for you, If you venture on anything rash! Oh men who office se Ob men ‘twixt hope and fear! The prospect for you is exceedingly bleak, — The future outlook drear! For somebody 1 Of all this eager crew! To thiok that de And offices s and should be so great, few! With fingers weary aud worn, nd thread, — stiteh! rand dirt, f dolorous of the Shirt.” Teves Tons. In poverty, hun AN AFFECTIONATE DADDY. k—" The mother's gone, but » the little deara won't feel her aaa ton deeply.” Suort and to the point—a dagger. A pvarList’s drink—ram “punch.” A sort “blankit ’—a minister’s oath. A ster resolve—"T'll kick him out.” Ope to bald-headed men—There’ll be no more parting there. comicbooks.com: