Judge — January 24, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

carrid aw I gittin’ | to. He sillyquize sentz a day in ror cash. ‘After a little practice I guess I | the wolf off the front door step, Li r | plays * Slippeu’ up the Golden Stairz,” and | | ** Wait for the Clouds to roll over,” with | gusto, sol believe she'd make a musik teacher. But she shant work while 'm havin’ my present income. No, sir! ‘Then there’s the pile ov stuff our mothers | gave us—let’s see—‘* Comictory onto nl | | | Bible,” two story wash-stand; mouse-trap || and spinning-wheel; seal-skin’ shawl and marble-top chair—I mene table; I gess I can fix the broken leg; baby-rattle; (Lord p serve us from needin’ it right off)! Lucelia’s got 3} pairs ov silk stockins, a duzen towells ? I've got quantities of dansin-pumps. We won't have to add much ter go to house-kcep- | in’.”” | | The young ladyz thorts are in a diffrunt strain, but ¢ Her frendz had tole her she would be a ole made, and now wouldn't they be envyus! And didu’t she |} fecl happy! “An wouldn’t it be sweet to keep | house with that jolly feller what always had | sich white hans.” And cou/dn’/ she turn a somer-set, coz she felt so skittish; Well, I should gigle! Besides the first wedden menshund, (where you invi there is ov rollin’-pins, matches Glass Weddens, for collectin 5 cent sult- Brave sellers, nitched gobblits and lamp chimne | Linen Weddens, for layin’ in cotton handker- Iron Wed- | — — ’ A DOMESTIC SEPARATION. then the bright idea struck me that t would find a warmer resting place, and j e everybody and git all you can, he Wooden Weddin, to get cords nd tooth-picks A COURTING CONUNDRUM, Why do you prefer a wood fire?” Sur—* ’Cause it pop. chefs and muzzlin table cloth || dens for stockin up with av furnaces, spit tunz and so fort dens, when you get nickle f in Sune eTony better berth in my papa’s portly, prosperoi | white-washed cake-baskets; And Golding . ~ pockets, so I got them in there and kept |} Weddens, when you get—left usually, coz | "’Twas just about tive years age, them there perpetually, and had a good || mos people are 2 buzy to ’tend gold weddens, That he and 1 aid pai time, but it did not last more than a year or | | || now-a-daz, an’ there ain’t one woman outer | And though his leaving « two and then somehow papa’s pockets got |} abhundrid thousand what can live with one No anger filled my heart sewed up. Sv that it was very seldom I man 50 yerz without stoppin Foralways ald get my | in, and when I did they | Oh, but [like weddens myself, [remember Until ne out as cold and empty as if I had only distinkly when my sister Mary. got married, When er ast stepped! in, — ad them in my own, had arough time | | ards called her Marie, but that was a To blast that home of ou | for a while, till I got a position as cashier in aflikle error into the manuskrip oy + far helt eum , abank, Then Thad my hands into every- Cake? Cake? Well, perhaps ther wazn’t! : ' one’s ts. and never had to put the | A | You see, ‘my man? was caught, ps ‘ || Ask the grocery-man. I was sick abed for a . This is nota financial article, wey », When he and | that safe did * erack ',— | week—her levin’ home affeck’d me so. eaters S euuaht so I need not explain how it was done, but I | Mother cried to—to see the cake disappear, SHIM ay haat do say, for the benefit and instruction of all || I gess, or else she thort she'd fall short ov 0 tls Es sey: roy Neate pare nd that there is no use — || | household u-10-selz, Sister lugged away 32 Tosrleeruasng: from tH , trying t ren to keep their hands | trunks fuller stuff. (She had earned it all, A five year's the jude gave him out of their own pockets, unless you teach — || by washin’ dishes for ma at the rate of 10 | For that "cre burglarce them to put them in somebody el: Youth cents a weak for 3 months), | _—_ must have its hand in some one’s pocket. | | First night she went awa we camped out| “Keep Your Hands Out of Your | Its just as natural as it is for the birds to ] || ona flower-barrel, for supper, (They had Pockets."* fly, the girls to eat ice cream, the dudes to carried off the extension table,) and [sat on the ror ej av nothing, sippin bi water ; oute! pot. I weanp it when I got my first pair of The pictures and chairs were all removed; | pants, 7 . started to scrape land scapes off ther wall- 1 suppose it was nature or instinct, or you bet sever I can get them into paper in one place, an’ pa ain’t got a carpet | something of that sort made me do it; any- someone else's. I will do pa and mama for the front room way the pants were not five minutes on when told me, and keep them out of my own, Corse, weddens “are great institushuns, | my hands were in my pockets. |My mother 7 but ‘tween you an’ the hitchin’-post, if I nu | said the same thing to me ten times a day, A mill-race—Millers. where there waz goin’ ter be n’ I didn’t | my nurse twenty times, and my grandmother + si J own no share inter it, I'd blow it up with | at least forty times. Twice my father was "Ti: milky-wav——a baby dinner-mite or mi nameain’t John! omployed to take the pants down und chas- CARA teeta pelea =—=—_ tise me for the same offense. — Bless you! A Greece-srot—Athe was not the least use. My hands would into my pockets, no power would keep them policemen, | out. ‘This sort of nag went on till after A hole-souled fellow—the miner, A half- nted); polite clerks; oysters in | I left school, but when I went into the world soled fellow—the cobbler. or THe Junce to make jokes. I'm out of the hank now—left it for pri- Ihave therefore to keep my sin my own pockets, but Tue human race—the race for gold. Rarities, Golden dolla: (when church stews; ministers at a circus (7); de- | and had my own way to make, I soon lear! —— cayed fruit on top of the h sense in a| the value of the maternal councils and the Stvpent—“ Wasn't Walter Savage Lan- pretty girl; sobriety in a mule’s hind leg. | paternal castigutions. I did the dude and ri glish poet?” money on a contribution plate; courtesy in| the young man about town fora while, but Pro! «No, I believe he was a report- a horse-car; seats in an accomodation train; | there w: on so little in my pockets that I k papers. Ile oranges growing on pumpkin vines, did not care to put my hands in. It was fs y Conversation comicbooks.com