Judge — January 17, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FORCED Otp Party (pretty full, evidently)—** Brown’s and the next morning, he turned a deaf ear to the apologies of Mrs. Brown, and he turned the sole of his boot to each of the twins in suc on when he met them on the stairs. That evening when he returned he found numerous belongings of the Brown amily adorning the side walk, ‘They had been ¢ doand turned out of the egantly furnished dwelling for non-pay ment of rent, and as Josiah was ‘‘one of the family” his trunks and clothing, along with other goods and chattels, were well dis- tributed over the front stoop. Miss Brown was wee ud wailing on the upper step, Old Brown and Mrs. Brown were endeavor- ing to get the things into a truck, while the twins, with a guinea pig and a squirrel under ach arm, were enjoying the scene immense- ly. * Josiah called a cab, and from the debris he extracted part of his traps. ‘The rest he bade adien to forever, and he is now enjoying the table delicacies of atirst class ‘* hasherie” in Thir street He luxuriates in the radiance of a grate fire and in not being con- sidered ‘one of the family.” Ife has learned that the the Brown family was a broken down and a dead beat, and as he back in his plain but comfort: and smokes and ruminates, he of sympathy for pretty Mi man he has nothing but s lof nbler 1) leans seme contemp ted in the old lady. F. CUTT y, with when the a little ever. down town yest two : 3 in a paper sack bottom fell out. However, with paste the suck can be made as goo¢ The Palestine Commandery Ball will take » on Tuesday evening, Jannary 1th, at the Metropolitan Opera Touse. Special pre| ions have been made to give even more than usual prominence to this festival of the Knights Templars, always among the most popular of the winter n, and this year novel features are to be intro- duced. CONFESSION. Dreadful storm, positively dreadful. Can't A Girl's Soliloquy. Saints and waiting ever from Pa to ri ange Here have I been nee the fall to get something me out for the winter, and this mornin, es me one hundred dol- | lars. What use will that be, [wonder. Why, | I want forty-eleven things, and there are about a dozen I mus? have, and one hundred dollars would si buy one of them really require a tuilor-made costume skin jacket, an opera cloak, at bonn Ah! how sad it is to preacher last Sunday said, ‘all is vanity, and there is no real happiness here below.” How could he say that when Jenny three tailor-made suits of Worth tions; to say nothing of Par mantles enough to furnish a dry Why she and [ went to school t and I was younger than she then, anda thousand times prettier, but now she looks like a young angel, and I look like an old fright. Pa don’t see why [can’t wrap for the op in the same bull-dog colored shawl I wore last winter, Men, even the best of them, are so very inconsiderate. ‘There's 1 winter’s hat, which was le out of green parrot, has got full of m¢ head is now quite bald, and it [ told Pa about it only his horrid laug me to it, T suppose he thought that funny, he knows I do sometimes dispose of second hand things. I could uot dress all, if I did not, but Pa does not know y that I sold his snuff-colored pentaloons to buy m, ble mutt, We'll have a row over that in the spring hink they were most unsuitable to a man of a It is very strange, but it more expensive every year to try to dre: decently. Why, lust year [ could make my bustles of paper, and they cost me nothing. That won't do this year, and so T told Pa, | but he said that was not his fault, and that | he really thought bustles and crinolettes were both ugly and dangerous, but that he verily believe women would pad them- selves out with dynamite, if that were the tor gave fashion. I replied of course they would, and I could not see why not, and then I told him I wanted some electric beads. And he said, he had no doubt I did, but that if I got them I must keep out of the cara, for he could not have me go near a conductor. When I saw he was in that nasty, nagging mood, I just let him alone, but I mean to take out his cat’s eye pin and diamond studs, and if those don’t’ bring what I want, I'll bring out some of the spoons, see if I don’t. The Cornet Fiend. axe is Toot, tyro, Hoopen-te and hearty— rraty, traa-ly, traa-tar, hoopen-tarty! lakes, answer surly, The challenge wakes the Snake Itock’s slow echoes And murmurs back Q Where oyster boats loom lar: Gnarr-rra! poo-poo-ta! ping ipinc oy e and burl and toot hearty— Z00-poo-ta! Noopen-ta-hopen- tetarty! O summer sweet sounds be these That shame thy whi Soft as the er And sad asm t, toot, toot; te breezes lazy, one crazy nil hearty — Rrrarera, tra:tahopee, graa-topen-poo:hoopen: pale. Now far and fair, now nearer blar ‘The lit wells ring notes that woo a in that f d mock us; strain So like a 1 Wand party caucus. Toot, maniac, toot; toot stout and shrill and hearty— »hoopety-poo, plup-ploopety-plup, hoopiety-poo: pup tart —New Haren News Art Criticism. Curtic (who having “ liquored. up” con- siderably before visiting the exhibition, fails to observe that he is only in the vestibule, standing before a mirror)—‘ Ah! portrait f gen’leman hpose (hic)"”—(writes)— “drawing exshe’ble—great want taste in choice 'f subject; fit only for a place in bar- —Philadelphia Call. Too Gross to Relate. fitful flash of a November meteor only served to deepen the shadows of the massive brick buile s which line Fifth avenue, when two Pittsburg attorneys ran into eacn other. “Oh, is it you, R. A.?” said one: was immediately answered by a deep * ¥ the first speaker in a mys' ‘did you hear that story about * 2” “No,” answer “what is it?” “Oh, it’s too gross—too gross entirely lied his pmpanion in a mournful voi Tell away,” resumed the first, and Pil try to stand it. If I must hear such dread- ful things, I must.” “Well,” exclaimed his friend, 144 is one gross, and 288 is two » isn’t il A meteor shot across the sky like « lightning—a thnd—a moan—a ch dark form stealing away in the darkness and all was silent.— Pittsburg Dispatch. the other excitedly; comicbooks.com