Judge — January 3, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. (LAND) LADIES’ AN UNCALLED DAY. FOR CALL. How to Shoe a Mule. Fin always easy, putting a [ith will serve a de the mule is caught, preserve your remait of ice ull the core ties have This is not hed by Tne salt If you survive, and at the worst it will per Join Have of catch your mule but may be good specime army or Kentucky variety is best— ently but firmly to some seclue © nothing will. be 1 You will n the him wh attentiot The hand, your left. in a cireus will stance stead, but it is not essenti the , previous training ator in good the mul circus you want, urself up, recover prtained that no ope 3 have beet broke ne you I ter defer the conclusion of the cer till some other day, or hire someone attend to them for you, unless you are very war as to the fit of that particular If you conclude to finish your job, you must once more approach the animal, and seize him firmly by the dexter hind ankle—hock, we believe the initiated call it. shoes. If you are in a condition to proceed, you | had better try the effect of a few soothing words on the mule, after you have regained his vicinity. Oaths and curses od they have been tried. We are not pre to state authoritatively that kind words are any more eflicacious, but you may as well give them atrial. If the shoe has been lost In the straw, don’t waste any time looking for it, Have a second r Try the left leg this time. All mules are not ambi-dex- terous. If he does + You may con. clude that this particular mile is that kine If he does, you may go through the por- formance indi ated. above | ad infinitum. is simply a question of enduran you and’ the mule, and 1 us that mules are amo: of animals. When the mule is shod, you will probably both feel like laying off for a week or two. But we would not recommend anyone to attempt to fit on a mule’s offines, unless his redit is good at the undertaker’s. he most enduring TWO PATHS TO THE GRAY A Green Christmas. "Twas Chris and. yet no snow Upon the ¢ s dlay And every with woe, or “twas a Christmas green +0," cried my wife, with And then she “Our only ehild will s groan and sigh, For ‘tis a Christmas g “OF yes Mast h got T know our little Pat ave this earthly scene make the graveyard fat, tis a Chris T dropped tear, and watehed my son ¢ tew like a dream, Christmas that was nust TE tell wok at the fam'ly seene what woe befell there youll =e mas that was yreen y head, it reels and spi They're very hard to wean— or Christmas, that wa | ** Confound you folks, Trials of The Telephone Girl. TALk about the trial of a telephone office, said the ‘mesmeric” looking girl, as she viciously closed the connection with a man who had just ‘got the ear? of a valuabl customer, they're just awful. “T'was only last week one of th selfish things they call men, woke me from a sound nap (no pun ine tended), pounding on his transmitter, when [| kindly swered his call, y n't you keep awa four words? Gimme Boston Depe 1 him if he didn’t t the world, estimed her work on a piece of Kensington, CoS. Wapy, A CROOKED CONSTRUCTION, Ma. Morseur (angrily) — Well, sir, what is 19" IstoxicateD Cancer why, (hie) give me the same What ish it? Some Incompatibility. A rew weeks previous to the late national RATCHING FOR A LIVING. me's Mr. John P. St gh aspira Bat the fact That T heal And he’ ed the M dobn Mr xl whiskey cause on, Tue through ag men, but thi Prohibitionists see their future “as s, darkly.” So do the liquor in to lighten up as the | election Mr. Gil Primrose, and Mr Ode honk, of Portland, Cement County, braska, purchase al nd Mr, Odderh st envious eyes in the direction of. the blushing goddess of journalism. ‘They had hand in shaping suffering county. Both of © ingenious gentlemen had noted with alarm the large and increasing amount of superfluous public opinion which was suffer- ing to be molded, and they had both decided that they were the predestined and particular huckleberries ld it. The Portland Prodder, the organ in which Mr. Gil Primrose and Mr. Odderhonk had embarked a share of their perso wealth, was a weekly organ of patent some circulation, It was sold by the sheriff and bought in by the gentlemen mentioned. Mr. Gil Primrose was a ( n " Moantain Yankee. Mr. Odderhonk w f mold “old stuil” gets down to “one finger.” German, Neither of them had ever b comicbooks.com