Judge — January 3, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee aS % EER se BEFORE THE HANGING COMMITTEE. Bum Artist (to his uncle)—‘* Oh! Mr. Isaacs; you know you are the first commit: | tee who has ever consented to hang up my pictures.” distractedly rocks the howling infant to and | fro, or walks the floor with it, as occasion and his wife demand, “He certainly will kill himself, if he doesn’t stop crying,” ejacula Imogene from beneath the jothes, as Adolphus trots him frantically up and down, Adolphus wonders if anything ould kill him, but wisely keeps his ‘thoughts to him- self. The little wretch is tougher than a ant, What Adolphus cannot understand is, how so small a thing can make so much noise and take up so much room. Of course the baby had to have a nur: and t of course, the one servant girl couldn’t do all the work, and wait upon the nurse and buby, so a second girl has been added to the menage, and cot-beds are dis- tributed about the rooms at night, to ac- commodate the sleeping beauties, and the place looks like a hospital. This more than trebles the former house- keeping expenses, and as the baby subsides under the influence of the paregoric, A phus muses on things in general, and on get- | ting married in particular, Of course, in the spring they will have to move into a larger flat and pay The family has increased, expens increased, in'short, Adolphus finds that the only thing that has not increased lary, and just as he begins to wonder how all this to end, another colic seize: the ba snort and a yell striking out of little arms and le; directions, and as he again begins to pace the floor, Imogene calls out, **sing to him Adolphus, sing to him, perhaps that'll quiet hina,” and then Adolphus brings his double bass baritone into use and there rolls out in- to the inky hours of night, that all consol- ing hymn, ‘ Wait till the Clouds roll by, Darling.” Oh, ifhe only would wait, or give out ent , but he does neither. No, Adolphus, its a hopeless case, and you might as well make up your mind to the worst, ‘That infant will never die, His lungs are too strong for that, and there'll be more nd more colic, and more trot alk the floor, until, in the course of events, another comes to take his place. And another till come, and another and is his | Your r hair, and rome to live with you'll grin and able, but, if not » to stopping out late at you'll play draw-poker, and pool, and your wife will think you a brute. And if the baby will stop yelling long gh, you'll read this article and you'll ke a New Year's resolution to stick to Imogene and be virtuous, and, in the end, you'll do neither. ‘This is a prognostication by an_ experienced astro and in five years time you'll say he w another, and don’t you forget it. Imogene will cease to crimp | your mother-in-law will you. If you are virtu bear it and be Thanks to the Prohibition Party. Through Georxta, Tur. Democrats have beaten us, they've laid us on the shelves, but we haven't stay, Thanks to the Prohibiti Con Hurrah! Hurrah! it Hurrah! 1 1 Eighteen Eighty} Then we're coming back a as we'll have to wait. ah! gain, we're ¢ back to st ‘There'll be no Prohibition party The Democrats have beaten us, they've st c anks tion eranks, up thei ition of the Probii whiskey take Thanks to the Prohibition By the We're © have free now welll it straight rty The Democrats have beaten us, we mean them no But we'd like to leave the Treasury with only fifteen cents And now they've got the offices, they'll make the money tly Thanks to the Prohibition party The Democral Jolin is satistiod, He can buy plenty of whiskey with his Democratic have beaten us, St brit He'd better goto Enghind to save his precious hide, Thanks to the Prohibition party ‘The Solid South has beaten us, my comrades what 4 shame Our fighting and our suffering have all been given in vain We'll seethe stars and bars, and hear the rebel yell again, Thanks to the Prohibition party D.G, Beasstve, Co I, 11 Ole Vols ‘Tue last rows of summer—the corn rows. Tire new ring—ring out the Ins; ring in the Outs. ‘Tire escaped convict is a ery popular man; he always has a very 1h following. Tuovert a man may be abstemious at the dinner table, when it comes to the card-table he wants a good de: Bes Better has engaged rooms in the Tee-palace in Montreal. — He has been keep- ing so quiet latel. tit is currently reported that he icing the ‘soft and repeat” of the touching song, ‘ Fishing after Clams.” comicbooks.com